10S... you are and always have been a favorite of mine. I don't always agree with you... and frequently disagree... but that is okay since I know your heart is true... but to say there is no grinding and no contact is just blatantly not an accurate reflection of what goes on during a lap dance. Not accurate at all. I have seen them... heard about them and even know establishments where the men will put on a condom before the lap dance (and then put their clothes back on) so they don't soil their clothes.
Your experience is different... but it is not an accurate reflection of what happens during the vast majority of lap dances.
10S... what is it that you are trying to prove here? That dancers don't deserve the reputation that they have... if that is the case... let me save you some effort here... my thinking is firm and won't be swayed.
For me this topic has taken on a life that has gone far beyond its original intent. I have found the answers as to how to best approach my friend.... which by the way... went very well.
Thanks for taking the time to share your very heartfelt feelings.

from wikpedia...

"Full-contact lap dances often involve intense frottage where the stripper may rub their lap against the patron's, which can result in the patron achieving orgasm. Used condoms are commonly found in the men's restroom of these establishments. Local jurisdictions and community standards typically determine how much and where the patron can touch the dancer during the lap dance. In some cases, any touching by the patron is forbidden.

It has been alleged that lap dancing club owners, by installing dark private booths and charging dancers steep stage fees, are silently condoning and encouraging sexual acts between customers and dancers

A lap dance is a specific type of erotic dance offered in some strip clubs or (somewhat more formal) gentlemen's clubs in which the patron is seated, and the dancer is either in immediate contact (contact dancing) with the patron, or within a very short distance. Depending on the local jurisdiction and community standards, lap dances can involve touching of the dancer by the patron, the patron by the dancer, neither, or both; the dancer may be naked, topless or fully clothed where the club is located. Variant terms include couch dance which is a lap dance where the customer is seated on a couch, and bed dance where the customer lies down."

I'm only telling you MY EXPERIENCE very honestly. I've never even heard of "full contact lap dance" and if some weirdo took his pants off before a lap dance with me, he would not have gotten one. End of Story.

I'm not trying to prove a damn thing. I'm telling you What I Know To Be True FROM MY OWN Experience.

Times may have changed since back then, I don't know.


I'm not trying to PROVE Anything but what you describe is nothing I've ever experienced or even heard of !! and I don't care what you think, but I do want the record straight on what I Experienced as a lap dance, before and during the time I was dancing.

And by the way, my husband was a regular patron at my club during the time I worked there. He could have walked in any time and I welcomed him, loved him to come see me. I was not ashamed of what I was doing, but I would have been ashamed of what you describe!! and he would not have been happy either! separation or not.


Edit PS- I'm contacting some dancers I know to ask them about it.

I've known several and dated one. The one I dated seemed like a normal person during those several months and was an A-B student. Some of the others I've known were prostitutes and/or on drugs but a few seemed like the one I dated, normal girls who danced with a few less clothes.

My opinion is that watching a stripper is nowhere close to cheating but everyone has their own opinion.

i can agree that watching a stripper does not automatically equal cheating.....whoever is watching would know best...but, doing it behing your spouses back does equal betrayal.

lap dances.....i think only the one getting the dance could tell you how close to cheating it feels....but, i can imagine.