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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 117
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 117
I do not think he will hurt me physically. He has never touched me or the children - ever. He leaves the house before he would do that type of thing.

I feel like I have demanded respect in the past several, several times, for years off and on and he literally just does what he wants to do regardless of my feelings. I have kept a log for 2 years of inappropriate parenting in case of divorce (no, not a great MB thing to do) and re-reading it convinces me more that D is the only way to go. You tend to forget the levels of conflict you had once you hit a better period. This period definitely qualifies as the worst.

I do not want the children here when I expose him. But I do not know how to work teh timing. I know I can't tell him I know anything until his D papers are served. Do I make sure I'm there when they are served? Then we discuss it? Do I call him from somewhere and set a time to discuss it? Do I pack his clothes up and have them down at his mom's house the day I know he is getting served? I do NOT want him packing in anger or me packing his stuff up with my 5 year old around. That would be traumatic. But at the same time it would be traumatic for her to come home and find his closet empty and a lot of stuff gone (they share a closet).

And our DD's birthday is in less than 2 weeks <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />. I really do want to wait until after her birthday at the very least. But is that just living in denial? And then there's Christmas and I don't want to emotionally mess up christmas for forever for my oldest DD. So do I try to just do Plan A until after Christmas? I am really confused about all this. I am trying to live in Plan A as much as possible right now while all these decisions are going on. I literally repeated to myself today that I could not control him, to not react, to just make small talk, etc.

Last edited by hanes; 12/03/06 11:12 PM.

Me: BS (37)
H: FWH (35)
D-Day 11/06
Filed for D 12/06 (terminated later)
Committed to recovery 12/31/06
Mom to DD (5) and DD (1)
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316
M
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M Offline
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316
Quote
(when the xanax wore off)

Quote
nursing our sweet baby

-emphasis mine

PLEASE don't nurse your baby while taking Xanax...I understand you are under great duress, but that is a drug that doesn't need to get into your baby's system...I apologize if I've somehow missed something and you are already aware of this...

I am truly sorry for your situation...

Blessings to you,

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,808
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,808
should you decide to try and salvage the marriage- DO NOT INVITE HIM HERE.

Please.

It is not a wise thing to invite a ws to the site- it is like giving up your battle plan

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 117
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 117
MrsWondering - I have only taken it two times, 1/2 of a .5mg (or is it .05?) pill. I checked it out with a very good source who said occasional use for the age of my baby is o.k. Not ideal but o.k. It actually makes her fussy though, so I'm not going to take it again. And I realized it sent me into a panic attack each time when it wore off. So no more. I am going to see a doctor about getting on a safe anti-depressant. i have a history of depression anyway, have never taken drugs before, but have a feeling I'm going to need them this time.

The only mention of this site was in a letter to him which he read once and then I threw away. He didn't look at the site, make a note of it, nothing. I don't have it bookmarked, etc. I clear my history. I am paranoid he will discover this place, but I have to take that risk since I am finding it a huge emotional help to me.


Me: BS (37)
H: FWH (35)
D-Day 11/06
Filed for D 12/06 (terminated later)
Committed to recovery 12/31/06
Mom to DD (5) and DD (1)
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 754
B
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Member
B Offline
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 754
Bump for hanes!

She has q's regarding timing w/WH and kids, can someone with experience help?

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