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What to tell my son?
#1777292 12/03/06 11:07 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
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Edfro Offline OP
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Edfro
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I have a six year old with my w of 9 years. I hate what she is doing. I do not feel it is healthy for my 6 year old to know what mommy is doing but. She is consistenly haning out with the other man while my son is there. She say he doesn't notice anything. And that since we are seperated she is doing nothing wrong.I do not want her to decieve my son. I also want to look out for my son. What do I say. I am so worried about the affect this is going to have on him.
Re: What to tell my son?
Edfro #1777293 12/04/06 08:12 PM
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 224
Illinois, US
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sag06 Offline
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sag06
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Illinois, US
1 question: what does she mean by " She say he doesn't notice anything. " A six year old notice everything. So I not sure what she means by that statement.

2 question: "And that since we are seperated she is doing nothing wrong". Again what does she mean by that statement and what is she doing with these other people.

last question, how long have you been seperated with your wife?

ME:46
DS:15
DS:12
In a relationship w/NPD for 17 yrs.
ended:05/22/06: Thank you God!
Mark Twain: "As I got older, my father got smarter"
Re: What to tell my son?
sag06 #1777294 12/04/06 10:24 PM
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Edfro Offline OP
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My wife says my son does not notice that there is anything going on between her and the other man because she does not do anything in front of him. He however is over the house when I am not there and he is starting to spend a large amount of time with my wife.

My wife believes that since we are seperated and she plans on filing that she is no longer married to me and has no obligation to stay away from her lover because. In her mind she is divorced.

I have been seperated since May, we I back in with her for about a month and a half and then she asked me to leave and started to see the other man again.
Re: What to tell my son?
Edfro #1777295 12/05/06 12:26 AM
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 224
Illinois, US
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sag06 Offline
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sag06
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Posts: 224
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Sorry but you soon to be ex? has problems. People who act like this has very shallow emotions; ie personality disorders. You may want to read up on this. Here is a very good site to began with. Sorry for your pain! But you must think about your son, that is what is most important right now. If your soon to be ex (if not ((divorce))
now it will be later!) can do a lot of damage to your son's emotional and mental state of mind. Are you going to try and get custody? Jumping from your family and her "lover" is unstable to your son and yourself! Try to get into counseling as soon as possible to work on these issues. Plus, there is a lot of information on MS that may help you as well! Good luck and may God be with you and your son!

http://counsellingresource.com/quizzes/loser/index.html

ME:46
DS:15
DS:12
In a relationship w/NPD for 17 yrs.
ended:05/22/06: Thank you God!
Mark Twain: "As I got older, my father got smarter"
Re: What to tell my son?
sag06 #1777296 01/02/07 12:07 PM
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 367
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skylite Offline
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skylite
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 367
I am so sorry to hear about your poor child being exposed to that kinda of disturbed behavior.

Healthy people don't act like that.

Here's a website called RAINBOWS tailored for young children to deal with death, dv and grief.

Hope this helps abit.

God Bless You and little one!


http://www.rainbows.org/rainbows.html
Re: What to tell my son?
skylite #1777297 01/08/07 09:46 AM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Texas
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MelodyLane Offline
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MelodyLane
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Edfro, I would explain to your son that what your wife is doing is wrong, lest he grow up morally confused. Little kids instinctively know right from wrong and when adults don't validate that, they grow up thinking they are just stupid and learn to ignore their moral compass.

As a little girl, I was introduced to my dad's gf's and I thought this was not right, but since my mother decided to "take the high road" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> of moral cowardice, and never validated my instincts, I concluded I must be a very stupid girl because no one else saw what I saw. I grew up hopelessly morally confused.

So, I would explain to her what is going on in an age relevant manner and tell her that adultery is immoral and that what her mother is doing is very immoral.

Here is good article about this from MB:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8112_lesson.html

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101

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