Hey SD. I am sort of like the quiet little intern following the doctors on their teaching rounds hiding in the back hoping no one askes me anything.

Sound like you are getting a lot of good thoughts these days. Keep listening and hanging tough Amigo.

so...........<tap tap tap>.........

Did you ever get the book?

Yes, and I've even read a few of the meditations. But more importantly,I'm sleeping with the book under my pillow, so I know that all the wisdom will diffuse into my head during the night.



What do you mean? You see something wrong with me proposing to the first woman that smiles at me?

There's a disconnect in here somewhere -- I'm accepting what is and not thinking/worrying about the future but going without getting any of my emotional needs met for, jeez, how long? I would explore this further, but I know that you would just whack me upside the head with a 2x4. It's probably better to say "Yes, ma'am" and then maybe flirt with women when you're not looking.

I have eyes on the back of my head.

And you have to crack the dang book to make it work. Contrary to popular belief, using it as a pillow will not absorb diddley squat.

Go to the index. Look up acceptance.

Start reading.

Even better, read July 20th. It was written for you. It's titled Letting Go of Resistance...

Is that Odd or is it God?

Not having needs met is not an excuse to cheat on your wife. You are a married man.

I suspect that you NEED to respect the man looking back at you in the mirror more than you need to other ENs.

I suspect that you NEED to be able to honestly look at your children's faces and say you did EVERYTHING including WAITING for your wife.

You don't want to be that dad who says: Sorry kids, I had an itch that needed scratching...

Find ways to get some of your needs met that don't involve a member of the opposite sex.

Yes, ma'am.

Okay, so we all knew that last post was coming, right?

July 20.

"Do not be in such a hurry to move on.

Relax. Breathe deeply. Be. Be in harmony today.

Be open. There is beauty around and in us today. There is purpose and meaning in today.

There is importance in today -- not so much in what happens to us, but in how we respond.

Let today happen. We learn our lessons, we work things out, we change in a simple fashion: by living our life fully today.

Do not worry about tomorrow's feelings, problems, or gifts. Do not worry about whether we can trust ourselves, life, or our Higher Power tomorrow.

Everything we need today shall be given to us. That is a promise -- from God, from the Universe.

Feel today's feelings. Solve today's problems. Enjoy today's gifts. Trust yourself, life, and your Higher Power today.

Acquire the art of living fully today. Absorb the lessons, the healing, the beauty, the love available to us today.

Do not be in such a rush to move on. There is no hurry. We cannot escape; we only postpone. Let the feelings go; breathe in peace and healing.

Do not be in such a hurry to move on.

Today, I will not run from myself, my circumstances, or my feelings. I will be open to myself, others, my Higher Power, and life. I will trust that by facing today to the best of my ability, I will aquire the skills I need to face tomorrow."

--Melody Beattie, Hazelton Meditation Series; HarperCollins Publishers

I can't remember the last full day that I lived.

Well then, today is a good day to live.

Yoga at lunch time. IC later. Neighbor's birthday party later on tonight.

Doing my best to ignore the SCQ. I haven't talked to the OMW and haven't been to the courthouse.

Probably time to buy myself something I don't need, too. Retail therapy.

Oh, nevermind....... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Fox

Yoga....shopping....

Now go someplace great to eat with some good friends and share a bottle of wine. (maybe I'd do that instead of the yoga....hmmmmm....)

Sounds like a FULL day to me! A good day. A day fully lived. A day spent soaking in the great things in the world right around you and not letting the icky things get in the way of it.

I had a "full" day last week: I got together with friends, we drank marguritas, then went to the 4-H fair to play cow-pie bingo. What a trip, cheering that old cow on...if you have to ask, you don't want to know....

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Email from the OMW:

"Hi SDGuy,

I called because I was curious how you were doing. I am with you, and it's probably a bad idea for us to talk because it will only stir up emotions - unnecessarily.

I hope all is well with you.
OMW"

So tempting . . . .

I think if she had something she wanted to tell you she would have thrown out more bait. She probably is wondering if you know anything new.

It probably is best just to stay in the dark.

Chris is right. Don't take the bait, even if it is well-intentioned bait. You just don't need a hook in your mouth right now. Whatever she has to say or wants to hear will just end up taking you a place you don't want or need to go.

Like SL says: keep on swimming.

((((sdguy))))

I agree.

What I want to know is whether she has any custody of her children, but I'm not sure how to ask that without stirring up emotions. "Um, by the way, they said you were so crazy that . . . ."

Dark it is.

Letting Go Without Being Done is hard. I'm still working on the acceptance part, because it comes and goes. The anger still comes occasionally, but not intensely and not for very long. Sometimes the conversations go on in my head, but even those aren't too bad. I got out the journal again last night, but I didn't have too much to say.

I wish I felt better, though. Some of the depression is situational, but I think more of it is biochemical, and I'm hoping new meds kick in soon.

Thanks, guys!

Same here, so--Yay!--we must be normal. Moving forward in our recovery....

SD: Good sig line. I needed that reminder today... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I keep hoping it will sink in. Without having to get brained by BR, that is.