You stinker! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Have loads of fun! You have worked really hard this year, and deserve this treat.

Have a great birthday amigo!

Hey SDBro... have a -great- birthday.. you deserve to enjoy a whole weekend of it.

I'll crack a frosty one for you tomorrow.. good stuff.. maybe if I ever get out your way I'll bring you a case of this local microbrew.

If my situation doesn't change I am seriously considering doing the cross-country roadtrip I've always wanted to do when I get the new car.. the week after my D is final.. whenever that is... if it gets that far.

Well, hey! I almost missed it! I hope you have a great, great day tomorrow. You are beating me to the punch by about two months, so I've got my eye on you to see how well you fare.

Actually, I like to think that my 40s will be the best decade yet.

The 30s weren't all that great, in retrospect. There were poopy diapers and potty training, working life around naptimes, my dad's cancer, and then all of this to wrap it all up.

Things can only get better.

So maybe we can view it as a GOOD milestone...the turn in the road, a new life full of possibilities, a fresh start.

This is what I wish for you.

Happy Birthday.

SD,



It feels good to say that, doesn't it? And it's even bette that you FEEL it, BELIEVE it, an KNOW it!

When I turned 40, I decided my description of it is

"Young enough, smart enough, and well off enough to do whatever I want to do,,,,,and finally Old enough to know better sometimes!! "

OR

"Like a fine wine,,,well blended, full bodied, and aged to a smooth perfection"

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Lunch was great with my old friends. My company had a mass layoff a couple of years ago, and I look forward to any occasion to get together with former co-workers. Today was no exception.

I sneaked out of work in the afternoon to get a massage.

Then picked up the kids after work. Somewhat-tired, borderline-cranky DD4 was ready to pitch a fit over not wanting to go to the kid-friendly middle-of-the-road restaurant, so we went to a less kid-friendly (and better) one. She acknowledged that it was my choice, but "it's not *fair* that you don't want to go to McDonalds." Or IHOP.

DD$ is "done" after two bites of pasta. DS8 is laying down on the booth seat. It's only beer and wine--no margaritas. DD4 has to go to the bathroom (only once, mercifully). I'm the only non-coupled guy in this place, right? And I'm the one with two kids? Wait, if dessert is on the line, maybe I want some more pasta. Was that enough to get dessert (could you say that a little louder, please? there might have been someone who didn't hear you.)? What the ******, it's my birthday, right? I make the rules. It was enough to get dessert.

Home in time for homework. Two weeks for this project, and this is what you have? No, I told you yesterday I wasn't going to fight with you over this. It's your homework. And showers. And a little bit of time to play Barbies. And read to the kids before bed.

It's all good.

Now in my lap is a purring cat who wants to know why I am not petting her with *both* hands.

One of my presents today was a picture of the 'thankful chain' that my brother's family put together. I looked closely and saw names I recognized, like SilentLucidity. And BrambleRose. LilSis. Chrisner. JamesUs. Bugsmom. Fox. Rin.

You guys all mean a lot to me. The support (and occasional beatings) I get here is one more of my many blessings.

Ah SD,,,


I know the restaurant routine you describe above pretty well! I did giggle,,having been there and done that. As a matter of fact, I remember specifically what I asked for on my 39th birthday from Drac - I wanted to go to a restaurant that didn't have a Kid's Menu! LOL!

Remember to look for your own name on that chain,,,you have learned how to be your Own Blessing, too! Not to mention the fact that YOU give so well here to others, just as much as you give.

Glad you had fun with the co-workers and MAH-LE-OUS job on getting yourself that massage!!!


{{{SD}}}

AMEN to this.. I'm right there with Bugs.

You know.. to a lot of people those struggles with getting the kids to eat dinner.. plying them with dessert.. the homework talk..

For a lot of parents out there... even good parents and decent people... they look on those conversations with frustration.

You know, one of those blessings we get.. going through all that we're going through, is that we place enormous value even on -those- moments.. and come out the other side, smiling and proud that we're doing our part to shape these little pieces of us that are going to take these lessons, knowledge, compassion, love, and concern with them into the world and pass it on to their kids... In some ways it makes us lucky that we can now -truly- appreciate the moments most parents take for granted.

Every moment in our lives has so much more meaning now.. good, bad, or indifferent.

Happy birthday Guy.. you are truly blessed, as is everyone touched by your life.

Ahhhh, a nice relaxing night out with the kids! Priceless.

You know, James hit the nail on the head--good AIM!! Nearly every moment I have now, I see value, good, fun, blessing. Even when I'm stressed to the gills arguing over DS staying in his seat instead of crawling beneath the table to pick up the crayon that he dropped while coloring his place mat (deep breath), I laugh a little.

I appreciate a WHOLE lot more than ever before. You would have thought that the death of my mother would have taught me that. NO SIREE BOB--seems infidelity taught me that. Strange, indeed.

I am blessed to know all of you folks!

The beatings are the most fun!

Glad you had a good day SD. Could you imagine a day like it a year ago?

Crayons under the table. Forgot to include that one, but it's a constant.

Now that I think about it, there should be a whole day for that in The Book.

Just Accept that restaurant crayons *will* roll off the table. Do You want to crawl around under the table to find them? Surrender to the fact that your children will take great delight in retrieving them. Yes, it's dirty down there, but Let Go of your compulsive cleanliness. Exposure to some dirt will enhance their immune system. Set a time limit.

Needs more buzzwords, like "preconceived notions," but I really ought to do some work.

Happy Birthday!

Thanks, Coachswife. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Too much wine at the neighborhood celebration for me.

They got me presents. I am awed. I am so lucky.

Until tomorrow morning. My cat wants to know where I have been.

SD,

Great report on the evening! So glad you had a good time.

BTW - glad you made it home ok. Cat sent me a private message asking where you were! Said something about shredding your pillow if you stayed out much longer!! LOL!

The fun has come to a crashing halt, and not just because of too much wine.

I've been spending most of the day on my couch because of, um, too much wine and not enough food last night. My doorbell rings. I think about not answering, but I go to the door, and DS8 is there.

I say "What's up?" and he says he needs a sweatshirt. There is one close to the door, so I "here's one" and hand it to him. We both say see you tomorrow, and he leaves. In a moment of weakness, I look to see who is in the car, but it is just the three of them.

A few minutes later, my cell phone buzzes. Two text messages. One from earlier today asking me to leave a sweatshirt for him outside in a plastic bag or else reply if I could not. The second one she had just sent. It said "Thanks for nothing."

Then I see that she has emailed me earlier in the day.


I'm not sure how to handle this. Obviously, no response about the sweatshirt. I could explain about not having seen the TM but don't really see any point.

And the ornaments. . . my inclination is to just ignore it and put them up.

But I'm not sure. Opinions sought.

"I suggest you put them in the garage and make piles to agree on before actually dividing them, ones for your house, ones for my house, and ones to be discussed if there are any. I could come by the garage when you are not there if that is needed to look at what you divided if you want to make the initial piles. If there is other Christmas decorations that need to be divided we could do it at the same time."

Gosh, more thought involved in dividing the Christmas ornaments, than dividing the family............

How important are they to you?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh, poor WS,,,,,,having to go without her Christmas deocrations because SD didn't just Hop to It when She finally decided she wanted them??

As Believer said, sounds like she gave that more thought than splitting up her family.

My 2 cents,,, for what it's worth. If there are any decorations that were 'hers' when she came into the marriage, put in a box and set outside for her on the next exchange. ALL other decorations - are FAMILY decorations and stay with the family.

Some of them are quite important to me. Others, not so much.


That's where I got to. I will probably give her the ones I don't like, too. There will be no dialog about it.

Thanks for the thoughts.

AH, all the crap we have to go through with this stuff...

for what?