Just an update. I've been lurking here still, just taking things in and thinking. WS and i have really been talking and talking and talking. Finally one night I told him I wanted to separate. He begged me to forgive him and said the A was the worst mistake of his life, that he would do anything for me to stay, that he wasn't going to let me go. That the only positive was that it got him into therapy and that he was willing to look at his control issues in therapy.
So I stayed. I really felt like he understood it from my perspective for the first time. And that he was genuine in his remorse, not just saying what he thinks he's supposed to say. We're working on it. Our therapist is good and really helping both of us look at things. I'm listening to Dr.H's radio show a lot and still reading a lot here.
The last week has been one of the most difficult for me. To really stay, to really focus on checking in with what *I* want and what I want to do, how to get back to being me, how to improve my life and not just depend on WS. And to begin sharing again and connecting again with WS. We're both working hard on this. One of my big issues is honesty - not from him (which is obviously now a huge issue) but from myself also.
So I will be around, reading and learning and working hard on my M. Thank you so much for the help everyone has given already. It has made a HUGE difference in my life. I have to think there's a reason I discovered this board and this website at the time I did.
