It is absolutely accurate. There is no article on this website that implies that the addictive nature is an EXCUSE, It is not.


Plan B is not a "solution" for your marriage. It is only intended to remove you from the pain SO YOU DON'T HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. THAT is the only solution it purports to serve. It increases your risk of DIVORCE.

Your H wants to move out so he can carry on his affair with the OW. PERIOD. Again, Plan B IS NOT a solution to marital problems. It is only a protective measure to remove you from his abuse.

Plan B should only be used AFTER Plan A has been exhausted. Your Plan A probably has been very successful in many ways, however, you haven't done the very basics, such as EXPOSURE of the affair.

Secondly, Plan B is to separate YOU from your spouse, not your children. Children should never be used as PAWNS to serve your marriage.

I would suggest that you get the Marriage Builders books that describe Plan A and Plan B and read them thoroughly before you PROCEED. You are making serious strategic errors because you do not understand the plans.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html

Addiction is mentioned in the article. I've been there I know I had it with my OM.

Thanks for the other input though.

zimmy, please show me where it says that addiction is an "EXCUSE?"

zimmy, did you miss this part?

It does not; however, it does mention that it is an addiciton. I never said that addiction is an "EXCUSE" for any behavior. Just as a drug addict's behavior is not accepted because of his/her addiction, but it is an addiction nonetheless and behaviors are modified because of the addiciton.

No I did not. If he is not willing to make that change, then I am not going to spin my wheels. I cannot make a decision for him. I can only control me. I am hoping that us being apart will be the kick in the tush he needs to make the decision on his own.

If HE does not decide to leave and leave for me, it is a futile effort.

Is HE WANTING to leave in plan B? Is HE suggesting it, or are you? What is the source of the choice to consider him leaving/plan B? You, or him?

zimmy, are you reading the posts on your thread? You disagreed with OWL when he told you that an addiction is not an excuse for an affair.

Did you read any of the posts above? Owl gave you very good advice and I posted to you also.

Good luck on that!! Because let me tell you what will REALLY HAPPEN. You will be throwing your H into the ARMS of the OW. You will be helping the affair and the OW, not your marriage.

You don't seem to GET that he is already DETACHED from you. HE IS HAVING AN AFFAIR. If he leaves, he is FREE to carry on his affair UNIMPEDED.

But, it sounds like you have already made a decision and are not here to actually get advice from ppl from have been there, done that. It that correct?

zimmy, whose side are you on? The OW's or yours? Because I honestly can't tell.

zimmy, the affair should be exposed BY YOU ALONE, without his knowledge. This is a tactic that you use as part of Plan A in order to kill his affair. This is not a joint effort as you are not in recovery and he won't be willing to do things that serve to harm his affair.

Do you understand that your marriage is under assault by an affair and is not going to make it unless you stand up to this affair?