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Joined: Apr 2001
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You know what he should do? Go take a polygraph to prove his innocence and then bring charges against the OWH for slander.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Dec 2006
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You know what he should do? Go take a polygraph to prove his innocence and then bring charges against the OWH for slander. LOL Yep wouldn't that be something if he could do that!
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Joined: Dec 2006
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Hopeful, you don't need his admission to know they are true. You have the proof. Just tell him that. He only compounds the crime by denying them. Let him know that you are willing to forgive him for this affair relapse, but that cannot be done if he persists in lying. Again, don't ASK him if he did it, tell him YOU KNOW HE DID. You don't NEED his admission to know the truth. Ok. I get that now. I'm really trying to read up on everything here and trying to understand. I am getting the book. It is just so much to take on right now especially when I am not in a great state of mind. I am thinking right now that I need to take some time to organize my thoughts and then have a discussion with him and ask him to do the NC letter with me. We'll see how it goes. We had some really good conversations last night about everything so I am also hopeful that we can talk without arguing. I think I am beyond the arguing point. Maybe I am just a fool but I am so hopeful becuase DH doesn't come home late like he use to and I don't have trouble getting a hold of him on his cell like I use to. He has also planned to very expensive trips for us coming up in Feb and Mar without the kids. I know he wouldn't do all this if he didn't still love me and my family. However, I do know it is not right or acceptable for him to have any contact with her. I also realize that they can be very sneaky and find ways to meet.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Maybe I am just a fool but I am so hopeful becuase DH doesn't come home late like he use to and I don't have trouble getting a hold of him on his cell like I use to. Where does he go when he is late? When was that going on? Where is he when you can't get him on his cell phone? Have you been checking up on him to see what he is doing when he is gone? For example, do you check his cell phone bill? Does he account for all his time?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Sep 2003
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"Well, DH denies it and says the guy made it all up because he is miserable in his marriage and doesn't trust his wife."
Hmmm. Where have we heard this before? It is a CLASSIC line from a WS. You see, they blame the BS, and spin a story like the above.
Of COURSE he doesn't trust his wife. She is untrustworthy.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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believer is right. Wouldn't that be STUPID to trust an untrustworthy person?? What a wacked out, foggy statement. He SHOULDN'T trust his wife. And of course the OWH is miserable, his wide HAS AFFAIRS!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 11
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Joined: Dec 2006
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Where does he go when he is late? When was that going on? Where is he when you can't get him on his cell phone? Have you been checking up on him to see what he is doing when he is gone? For example, do you check his cell phone bill? Does he account for all his time? [/quote]
Oh, he is never late anymore. That was back when I caught them in 2005. I heard every excuse in the book back then! I check on him frequently now and I would say the majority of the time, maybe 98% of the time, I can get a hold of him or he calls me right back. He will even answer his phone in the middle of a meeting. Now, he does account for his time almost always. Of course I don't always know when or where he goes to lunch but I will call around that hour to find out a lot of the time. Just that little checking in. KWIM?
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Joined: Dec 2003
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Something that has been typed around here thousands of times is "trust, but verify".
Any contact he has with the OW is something he is stealing from your marriage.
Keep reading, learning, posting and you will survive this!
Best wishes,
SD
BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04
***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
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