It is normal to be obsessed about this. Why wouldn't you? But I think it is much better to get busy doing something to make you feel better. Usually our self-esteem is in the toilet after we find out. Doing productive things will help you.

There have been a bunch of people here that have recovered their marriage - tons and tons. Usually if they weren't married long, they marriage ends because the BS doesn't want it anymore.

Also, even those that lose their marriage, end up happy. That helped me at first, because on D-day, I couldn't imagine ever being happy again.