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I somehow always get caught in the middle. Not tonight. It was your DD who was in the middle. Please, PHB, don't allow her to get there again. You firmly take the phone away from your DD and say, "No, your mother and I will decide." ~ Marsh
Last edited by Marshmallow; 01/01/07 07:08 PM.
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Agree with Marsh as to your' DD. She shouldn't be allowed or forced to choose sides in this. Probably the less she knows and hears about it the better.
She needs to know that you are there for her and both you and her mother will always love her.
JKG
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Agree with Marsh as to your' DD. She shouldn't be allowed or forced to choose sides in this. Probably the less she knows and hears about it the better.
She needs to know that you are there for her and both you and her mother will always love her. One thousand times yes. Poor little thing. Try to protect her from as much as you can. If she asks questions, you answer them honestly, otherwise, it's best to shield her from most of this. ~ Marsh
Last edited by Marshmallow; 01/01/07 07:12 PM.
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Also, from now on, I think it would be a good idea to call WW before your DD puts on her shoes and coat and you make a trip over there to find she's NOT there.
If she's not home, you can tell your DD that you are going to keep her a bit longer...
She shouldn't be told that her mother 'forgot' her.
Her suffering tonight must be off the charts.
(((( Hugs to both of you)))))
~ Marsh
Last edited by Marshmallow; 01/01/07 07:20 PM.
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Also, from now on, I think it would be a good idea to call WW before your DD puts on her shoes and coat and you make a trip over there to find she's NOT there. I did call but she didn't answer. That has become a norm for her. She never answers for anyone anymore. Also I was thinking that if I didn't get her over there she may do something that would hurt my chances of getting my D. You just never know with her anymore. But I can say I did better tonight. I came straight home and got on here for support b4 I blew up. I also went and prayed for my WW and that helped alot. Chalk one up for me.
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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Also, from now on, I think it would be a good idea to call WW before your DD puts on her shoes and coat and you make a trip over there to find she's NOT there. I did call but she didn't answer. That has become a norm for her. She never answers for anyone anymore. Also I was thinking that if I didn't get her over there she may do something that would hurt my chances of getting my D. You just never know with her anymore. But I can say I did better tonight. I came straight home and got on here for support b4 I blew up. I also went and prayed for my WW and that helped alot. Chalk one up for me. You need to tell your WW, that from now on, if she doesn't answer her phone when she is expecting her DD, then you WILL NOT bring her over her house. It is HORRIBLE that your little girl had to go through this tonight. You MUST protect her from having this EVER happen to her again. Kudos for not LBing tonight. ~ Marsh
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She is ok now. we went and rented Pirates of the Carribean.
Buit I agree, If she doesn't answer, I don't bring her. Which will probably be alot of times. This OM is going to end up hurt really bad. Really bad
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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But I agree, If she doesn't answer, I don't bring her. Which will probably be alot of times. Really?? Has she done this before? This OM is going to end up hurt really bad. Really bad What do you mean? ~ Marsh
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pHB... kudos to you. You are a quick study and picking up on this stuff really will. Keep up the good work. One key to piquing the WW's interest if for you to stay very active, and do as much with your DD as possible. Even to the point that so far as your WW knows, you are in the practice of not letting the A slow you down one bit. In fact, you will become more active than usual. Once the fear that a BS is starting to "move on" with their lives, a WW starts to wonder about a lot of their decisions.
Hang in there and love that DD of yours to pieces.
SD
BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04
***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
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You really need to get some kind of legal agreement for your' D's sake. Until you do she will just keep playing these games with you. You need to spell out arrangements for custody as well as requirements such as her (DD) not to be with OM ever. A Legal Separation Order or whatever has some teeth and can be held up in a court of law.
You are seeing your lawyer Thursday correct? Don't let him say nothing can be done. Unacceptable!!!!!
JKG
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Has she done this before? All the time This OM is going to end up hurt really bad. Really bad
What do you mean? My WW family will kill him. He don't know them.
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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Go for full custody. See to it that your lawyer draws up something that will prevent OM anywhere near your DD. Did you talk to your WW again? Did you tell her, you'd drop DD off in the AM? ~ Marsh
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Go for full custody.
See to it that your lawyer draws up something that will prevent OM anywhere near your DD. I am going to try to do that. It will be hard because they always favor the Mom. But I have some pretty good stuff that may help. Did you talk to your WW again? Just talked to her and I was super nice to her. I asked her if she got my text messages and she said no. So I will write it down tonight and give it to her in the morning when I drop D off. Did you tell her, you'd drop DD off in the AM? Didn't have to really, when she called she had other plans I think. Not sure but she asked if D was coming to her house. I said I will drop her off in the morning. She said OK. No arguement tells me that she has other plans. But I will say that she didn't sound happy but that was probably due to OM being there more than likely. I don't know anymore what goes on in her head.
Last edited by paranoidHB; 01/01/07 08:26 PM.
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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Just talked to her and I was super nice to her. I asked her if she got my text messages and she said no. So I will write it down tonight and give it to her in the morning when I drop D off. Maybe you should hold off on the note. I would concentrate on letting her know tomorrow morning that it is your intention of NEVER putting your DD in that position again. Tell her that you will ALWAYS call her before you drop your DD off, and if she does not answer you will keep her w/ you. Say this firmly, but w/o any DJs. There's nothing to argue about. If she tries to twist this on you, tell her you're late for work, and you'll talk to her later. Smile and wave good bye. Save the message for later. It's more important that she get's your message about your DD. ~ Marsh
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Maybe you should hold off on the note.
I would concentrate on letting her know tomorrow morning that it is your intention of NEVER putting your DD in that position again.
Tell her that you will ALWAYS call her before you drop your DD off, and if she does not answer you will keep her w/ you.
Say this firmly, but w/o any DJs.
There's nothing to argue about.
If she tries to twist this on you, tell her you're late for work, and you'll talk to her later.
Smile and wave good bye.
Save the message for later.
It's more important that she get's your message about your DD.
~ Marsh Agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't say it enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JKG
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PHB,
I was just reading some older posts of yours, and I see that you have a 17 month old daughter too.
When do you see her???
~ Marsh
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GET THAT AGREEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You need to be able to see both DD's to Hold, Love and Nuture as well.
This whole situation is MESSED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JKG
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Sorry for yelling!
But you really need to wakeup and standup for your' family!
JKG
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PHB,
I was just reading some older posts of yours, and I see that you have a 17 month old daughter too.
When do you see her???
~ Marsh She is a foster baby that we have had since since was 4 months. We were trying to adopt her. The adoption should have been final in Sept. but WW left in Aug. and DSS has been investigating ever since. Looks like that would have knocked sense into WW but WW worked it out with DSS that she could adopt her on her own. I didn't know whatto do in that situation. I don't get to she her often at all anymore and not sure if adoption will go thru or not.
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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I doubt DSS would allow a woman who is in an active affair adopt a child. You might use this to your advantage as well. Let DSS know what is going on so you can see the child, and prevent your WW from adopting the child if she continues this behavior.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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