I think that's a GREAT idea.

Maybe you'll need to call her during the week and ask her if DD has appropriate clothes for Sat. That way you'll give her some time to think about whether she wants to come or not...find a sitter for the baby...get her clothes ready.

BTW: Do you call your DD while she's w/ her mom? One night when you call her, you ought to get your WW on the phone and tell her, you're running to the store for some milk, and wondered if she needed anything.

If she says no, you could go to the store and pick up her favorite cookies or snack, and drop them off for her...w/ your note.

~ Marsh

pHB,

you need to get to where this stuff is second nature with you. It helps to get pointers when starting off and some help along the way when a sitch comes up.

pHB is a strong man and is always going and doing - having fun and upbeat. He is not whinny, sad, begging or down. It is hard, but needs to be this way.

*** my wife told me that she thought we would be D by now. If it wasn't for the changes I made during Plan A we would be. She likes the new me and is in love with me again.***

I would take my two kids out for breakfest on Sat or Sun mornings while she sleep in. I was showing her that I didn't need her. I planned to take the kids to see Santa and if she wanted to come along then great, if not, we would have fun without her. Every time I planned to do something she went along and had FUN.

Keep things light, kinda like a first date. Mrs pHB you smell good, hair looks good, good to see you again, remember when we had fun doing....

M2L

Second nature is what I am tring to build up to. I did think of the skiing idea. So I am on the right track but like you said it needs to come to me without much thought. I will say it is kinda hard for me right now because I know I have become and more loving and caring person. I just want to be able to do that with my W. I just don't get any chances. I will become better the more I stay on here and keep myself under control and not result to LB's when she provokes me.

Marsh

I like the idea of dropping off her fav snack. Only problem is if I go over there and OM is there knowing my D is the I just may flip out and LB. But I will try that maybe even tonight after church.

You need to get to the point that the OM is just an annoyance. Don't let OM get you down. He isn't even worth you time. Besides, showing up when the OM is there causes problems. It makes him start to wonder. Is he losing grip on your WW? He may start to LB.

OM (in head): "pHB came over and didn't even pay any attention to me? Why doesn't he even seem concerned about about me. Does he think that he is winning his WW back?

WW (in head): "pHB came over and acted like he didn't even care that OM was here. Is he moving on?"

It is all out psychological warfare. Who is the strongest?

Right, that's why I suggested you call first.

You could ask your DD if he's there.

AND you can ask your WW if she needs anything from the store. Maybe she'll let you pick something up for her. But, either way, you surprise her w/ the snack.

Don't forget to pick something up for DD too.

~ Marsh

Ok I am about to write the note out. Go to the store and call on the way to talk to D. Then casually talk to WW and ask if she needs anything. Then surprise them with snacks. I just got a fresh haircut and haven't got the new clothes yet but have on some nice looking clothes. I am primed to make my 1st step into Plan A. Feeling good about it to.

Ok That didn't go as planned. I called ahead of time but did not get an answer. I went on to the store and picked up the snacks and called again, no answer. I went and got gas,called again,no answer. Finally drove by house and they are not home. Should I have left it hanging on the door. I thought about it but I could not do it because I want her to see me and possibly notice a change. Just trying to plant a seed. I will call back in a few minutes and see if they answer then start over.

OK Marsh or others I still haven't got in touch with her and it is 9:15 should I go and leave it on the door. Or should I wait. Should I do it in the morning. What to do?

wait for tonight, don't do anything

can't stay too long - wifes here with me and doesn't know I'm on here at all

Wait till tomorrow night...or the next night.

There's no rush.

But, PHB, I think it's a good idea to call your DD every night. You need to know what's going on w/ her.

Plus you'll get a chance to interact w/ your WW.

~ Marsh

Well I have been trying to get in touch with her since about 8:30. She isn't answering her phone and the voice mail is full.

Can you tell I get a little wacked when I can't move with a plan. When I set my mind to something I have to be able to do it or I get wacked for a while. This kinda stuff drives me crazy. How long will it take me to develop the patience needed to do this stuff.

LOL

Yes, I can see your a man of action!!!

You ARE working your plan.

You ARE developing patience.

You are learning, Grasshopper. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Aren't you meeting w/ your lawyer tomorrow?

Do you have everything ready?

~ Marsh

PS: Did I see M2L say his W doesn't let him on the 'puter? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Can't tell that by tonight can you




Yes I am, Anything I need reminded of. I have paperwork that I have to talk about and I am going to request AOA papers be started. The problem with the whole thing is I don't have a peace about going to the lawyer. If I don't have peace I may not be able to say the things that I need to say.

Btw I just called again and still nothing



I thought this was a LB? LOL

Oh yeah I have some things written down but that is about it.

AOA papers?

Peace about protecting yourself and your DD?



Are you worried?

What time zone are you in?



LOL

I hope we learn more about this when he sneaks back on. haha

~ Marsh

Are you going to being all the stuff you've been documenting?

~ Marsh

AOA = Alienation of Affection

Yes I want to protect myself and my D but I feel going to the lawyer is accepting this is happen. I don't want to do anything that helps this divorce out. The reason I am going is to protect myself and D.

Eastern time Zone. North Carolina. Its 10:20 here.

And yes I am kinda worried about them

Yes I am taking everything.