Is it a bad idea to let her go. Tell her she can't come back? Maybe then reality would set in. I don't know, I feel like letting go because right now she ain't worth it.

I would continue in Plan A because its about me.

I think you should get all your bullets fired before plan B, and I think that you should plan A for a little while after the last bullet was fired so the last thing she remembers was the plan A, not the last bullet. Talk to SH, he is the expert, but I think once you serve the other man with the AOA, you might be able to break up the A, and once that is broken up, you should stay in plan A.

I would continue paln A but go on and leave her behind. She will still see me at my best but I would have some release. Maybe if she thought I was gone, reality may sink in that what she had is gone.

I was told by one of her friends that has been telling me stuff, that if she knew I was moving on without her she would really have to stop and think. If she saw or knew I was with someone it may throw jealously into the picture. I know that would not be the right thing to do but it was something I haven't thought of.

I second Jim's post.

Look, don't do anything right now. No other women, no moving on. Take the notes like SD said and wait to talk to Steve. I talked to him 2x and he was good.

He has seen this type of thing a few times before.

It is hard to live like this, but I can tell you, it is worth it in the end. SD can tell you the same.

I'm home today with sick kids and time it hard to find, but I will try to bump another of Bobopure's threads. You know his story, but I don't think you have read how he is today.

*****found it, "20th wed an"*****
read it, it will help you keep your goal in sight.

PHB,

You're having a down day. Remember we told you this is a rollercoaster ride. You'll have some "up" days and some "down" days. It's to be expected.

Please don't act from your feelings. They are signals to you about what you believe right now. Check your beliefs...if you can change them, you'll feel differently.

You've been thinking negative thoughts today about your M and the chance to recover.

You need to look up instead of down. You know that God has a plan for your life. And He will faithfully guide you through every moment. Stay present. Don't worry about the future. Just find joy in THIS moment and the choices that you're making right now.

I'm VERY happy that you called SH. I know he's going to be a big help to you.

I also think AD's would really help you alot, PHB, to help you focus and take the edge off the pain you are suffering through.

Please think about it.

((((PHB)))))

~ Marsh

Lexapro helped me a lot. Go to your doctor and ask for a prescription. I didn't even visit my doctor, just called it in. I scheduled a follow up to see how I was doing on it. If you explain your situation, they'll likely prescribe it to you without even seeing you. Get on it, it helps.

I don't have to think about them, everyone call to tell me them.


Trusting God's plan for me isn't the hard part. It the constant reminders that make it difficult.


I can't wait to talk with him. But I am sure he is not 100% garenteed.


I called for some but Doc wasn't in. I asked for samples but to no avail. yet


Does this mean something?


Plan A her but move on is what I wish I could do. Plus I would like to have some companionship. This is the hardest fight.

I was on this for a couple weeks but I really could not tell any difference

It usually takes a couple weeks before it is truly effective. If it didn't work, try something else. Zoloft kept Mike Tyson from "killin' y'all." His words not mine.

Anything I can take for quick relief

Well, yes, but you don't have to choose to make them yours as well. Let others think as negatively as they want to about your situation. And YOU can choose to think otherwise!

Maybe it'd be a good idea to stay away from nay sayers.



LOL

You've never been cyber hugged before?

Well, then you just remember who gave your first one, K? LOL

((((HUGS))))) = (((((PHB)))))

~ Marsh

(((( a hug ))))

You do have bad days like this. B1tch to us here - let it out. Tell us what you think of her!!!!

It will help

But you see that really wouldn't be "reality" would it. You wouldn't necessarily be gone would you??? You are uncertain yourself day to day and even if you did totally and completely give up...you'd still be married TODAY. You could "act" like it and try to manipulate the situation by making it appear that way but then because you aren't "really" gone you'll contradict yourself at certain points of time on this rollercoaster and she'll see all those actions for what they were "manipulation". Being fake is only playing her "game" (see I can use that word).

Acting gone and being actually gone are completely separate notions.

Plan A IS about you. YOU need to ride this process out. Plan B when YOU are ready for it and absolutely needing it to protect any notion of desire to reconcile is in the future. At THAT point you are "acting" as though you are absolutely gone...because you will be at that point.

BTW, part of the do's and don'ts list specifically says don't overly involve friends and family. Part of the reason for this is they will give YOU bad advice and misinformation. Your conversations with them are somewhat of a waste of time as they have no effect on WW....so why bother.

Be the best YOU that you can be today...accept uncertainty...let tomorrow take care of tomorrow.

YOU WILL MAKE IT.

Mr. Wondering

OK i hope everyone is ready for this because I need them and I need to do them so hold. And Guys just bare with me for a minute...

(((((((((((((((((((((((Marsh))))))))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((((((((((M2L))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((((((((((Mr.W)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((((((((((ST)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((((((((((SD)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((((((((((JMWC95)))))))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((((((((hopeandpray))))))))))))))))))))))

If I left you out let me know because I have plenty and sorry for the oversight.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Did you and DD pick out the paint for her room last night?

Did you get the Christmas tree taken down yet?

We still have ours up. I wanted to take it down last weekend, but I was over ruled by everyone in the family. So, I hope to do it this weekend.

But, you want to hear something really pathetic? LOL

Last year, I kept the Christmas dishes out right through EASTER!!! I'm not making this up. We ate Easter dinner on our Christmas dishes!!! LMAO!

The kids love them so much, that I didn't have the heart to put them away until AFTER Easter!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />



~ Marsh

Thats better than eating the Christmas dinner off the Easter dishes!!!

LMAO!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well, I bet Christmas fruitcake would still taste the same. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> G R O S S!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

~ Marsh

Working tonight, but...

((((((((((((((((((((((((pHB))))))))))))))))))))))))

back atcha!

Rest, recoup, think, scheme, prepare and paint! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

By the way, men can hug shamelessly here. This is tought [censored] to plow through! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

SD