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Yup they do change LOTS. All me me me me me - screw you a-hole spouse, your trying to ruin my fun A.
I wonder what she will say to the police? My H doesn't want me to have our DD around the guy I having an A with so please arrest him - ok? Just make him stop - lock him up so he will not be in my way anymore. LOL Hey, he took a picture of me with the guy I'm sleeping with so can you shoot him?
WTF
pssst! shes trying to scare you off She says Stalking after Firdays incident MrW. Is this possible? Days later??? pHB - when do you meet with your lawyer?
M2L
ME BH 36 - FWW 33 2 kids DDAY May 06
Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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Without court order....either one of you have 100% right to custody at any time. She can't have you arrested for holding your children and denying her access.
Now...if you do it for NO reason...it can be used against you. So, next time SHE has custody, if she vindictively witholds the children from you. She will look bad.
Absent court proceedings, I don't recommend doing this long. It can't appear a game to you to the court later. Keep the request as simple as you have and document it.
Mr. Wondering I think I may have mislead you. She was at my house trying to get in and get something.Not kids. DD is with my mom and we have tried to figure out how she will pick her up tonight.She keeps getting upset over nothing.
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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This is all way to much. Why in the world would someone want to do this to their kids. I could never imagine doig something like this. Even the shape I am in now. Keep it together man. I know this is hard chit. MrW. knows it, Jim, Sd - we all know it. It was hard on Marsh too. We know what your going thru. One more day and you talk to Steve H. One more day!! Do you have your notes ready?
M2L
ME BH 36 - FWW 33 2 kids DDAY May 06
Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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PHB,
Have you called your lawyer about getting a court order to keep DD away from OM?
Hang tough, my friend.
You'll get through all this...one day at a time.
~ Marsh
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PHB
You need an attorney, a temporary court order staying in the home, full or at least primary physical custody of the DD8, temp. child support, separate finances and a bench order not allowing members of the opposite sex to be around DD8.
She will not think you are serious unless you do. She's like my EX WW was, already has daddy's replacement lined up and can't wait to run into M # __ and start her little fantasy family without you in it but with your money coming in each month for child or spousal support.
Get into court now and plan B her butt.
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PHB,
My WW kept my kids away from me for 3 weeks, over Christmas no less, at her mom's in NC (I am in SC). Yes, I could have gone to get them because as Mr. W said above we both had 100% right to custody at any time. But you know what, I suffered for those 3 weeks and called nearly every day about seeing them and documented when she said no. Again like Mr.W says, I lost a small battle to gain an even bigger victory in the war. In court last Monday, the temporary order was made that I get custody of the kids EVERY night during the week (she keeps them during the day while I work) and she only gets every other weekend.
You can make it. God will help you through this.
Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids. Plan A Thread Plan B ThreadEphesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
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PHB,
Have you called your lawyer about getting a court order to keep DD away from OM? Yes but they were closed today. I left a message. Hang tough, my friend.
You'll get through all this...one day at a time.
~ Marsh I am gonna need help getting thru all of this. I called to talk to DD and WW sounded upset and said she wanted to talk to me about something. I said what is it? Then she paused for about 10 secs and hollered for DD. I talked with DD and then hung up. I didn't want to give her another chance to blast me. Olus I didn't know what she wanted so since I was feeling better I thought I would just avoid it.
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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I called to talk to DD and WW sounded upset and said she wanted to talk to me about something. I said what is it? Then she paused for about 10 secs and hollered for DD. I talked with DD and then hung up. I didn't want to give her another chance to blast me. Olus I didn't know what she wanted so since I was feeling better I thought I would just avoid it. Good job! You know what you need to do, don't let her attempt to manipulate you. She's going to respect you for doing what she doesn't want you to. Respect looks VERY sexy on a man. Let her get angry, and when she's done being angry, she's going to take a brand new look at you. ~ Marsh
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She's going to respect you for doing what she doesn't want you to. What do you mean by this? Respect looks VERY sexy on a man.
Let her get angry, and when she's done being angry, she's going to take a brand new look at you. How would I get respect from her. She is totally against what I am going to do. She may flip and have me arrested for stalking. Plus she is doing everything she can to protect OM
Last edited by paranoidHB; 01/15/07 07:44 PM.
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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What do you mean by this? She may not LIKE that you're going to ask the courts to keep OM away from DD, but she'll RESPECT you for standing by your convictions. How would I get respect from her. She is totally against what I am going to do. She may flip and have me arrested for stalking. Plus she is doing everything she can to protect OM Doesn't matter if she's against it. When someone stands up for what they believe in, one can't help but respect them...admire them, even if you don't agree w/ them. ~ Marsh PS: Wasn't 24 great last night? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I can't wait for tonight's episode! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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What do you mean by this? She may not LIKE that you're going to ask the courts to keep OM away from DD, but she'll RESPECT you for standing by your convictions. How would I get respect from her. She is totally against what I am going to do. She may flip and have me arrested for stalking. Plus she is doing everything she can to protect OM Doesn't matter if she's against it. When someone stands up for what they believe in, one can't help but respect them...admire them, even if you don't agree w/ them. ~ Marsh PS: Wasn't 24 great last night? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I can't wait for tonight's episode! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> 24 Was good and it coming on now. dink dink dink She will hate me after tomorrow. If I get to talk to lawyer first.
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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She can't respect a pushover who she can easily manipulate. She thinks that she can control you, and realizing that she can't will earn you some respect.
Remember when you were a kid and you did something you shouldn't have, and your father took a belt to your *ss or grounded you? You didn't like it, but you avoided that behavior because you didn't want that to happen again. You respected him because you knew you couldn't get away with that behavior.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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She can have me arrested though. I am not to much worried about that as I am her acting out something to charge me with. The way she is right now, I wouldn't put anything past her. I am going to talk to lawyer first then proceed as she sees fit. I am trying not to make a hasty decision
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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If I do what I need to do and get the RO. Then she has me arrested, where does that leave DD8
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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DD8 would be with her but the RO would still preclude her from exposing DD8 to OM. She may violate it at that point believing YOU to be the only one that may catch her actually doing it but if you do...the court won't like it.
She disobeys a direct court order at her own peril.
BTW, I looked up stalking laws in Michigan and if your state statute is anything like Michigan's there is NO way she can make the allegation. She has NO reasonable basis upon which to make that claim. Worry about the beating herself up and calling the cops claim. She could even call you to find out you are alone in your car (without any witnesses to confirm your whereabouts) throw herself through a window, wait a half-hour and call the cops claiming YOU did it.
Keep careful notes of your whereabouts. I'm being extreme but trying to help you not get caught off guard. Waywards are CRAZY and desparate to fulfill their entitleness.
W
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering) DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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DD8 would be with her but the RO would still preclude her from exposing DD8 to OM. She may violate it at that point believing YOU to be the only one that may catch her actually doing it but if you do...the court won't like it.
She disobeys a direct court order at her own peril.
BTW, I looked up stalking laws in Michigan and if your state statute is anything like Michigan's there is NO way she can make the allegation. She has NO reasonable basis upon which to make that claim. Worry about the beating herself up and calling the cops claim. She could even call you to find out you are alone in your car (without any witnesses to confirm your whereabouts) throw herself through a window, wait a half-hour and call the cops claiming YOU did it.
Keep careful notes of your whereabouts. I'm being extreme but trying to help you not get caught off guard. Waywards are CRAZY and desparate to fulfill their entitleness.
W Thanks for the help. BUt it will be kinda hard when I am by myself at home. Any ideas on that. As far as stalking, She will claim Friday I followed her and she called 911 and the cops came to make me leave her be. I have not been stalking her, I have been getting proof. BTW 24 is pretty good tonight to and we can buy it on DVD tomorrow. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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Michigan Stalking Statute (likely similiar to your state...which is easily attainable...I just stumbled across this earlier this afternoon)
STALKING [MCL 750.411h & i] Stalking is (a) two or more willful acts of (b) continuing harassment or un-consented contact (c) that would cause a reasonable individual to suffer emotional distress, (d) that actually cause the victim to suffer emotional distress, (e) that would also cause a reasonable person to feel terrorized, frightened, intimidated, threatened, harassed or molested, and (f) that actually causes the victim to feel terrorized, frightened, intimidated, threatened, harassed or molested. Note: ALL of these elements must be present for "stalking" to be proven.
Penalty: Misdemeanor --- 1 year and/or $1,000 fine, up to 5 years probation;
"Continuing harassment" means repeated (i.e., more than one) instances of un-consented conduct that would cause a reasonable person emotional distress, and that actually causes emotional distress. (A single incident made up of a series of continuous acts, each immediately following the other, is not "stalking".)
"Emotional distress" means significant suffering or distress that may result in, but does not necessarily require, medical or other professional treatment or counseling.
"Un-consented contact" means contact that you do not want or contact that you expressed that you wanted to avoid. This includes, but is not limited to, someone following you, confronting you at your workplace, phoning you, sending you mail, or placing objects on your property.
Aggravated Stalking: Stalking (i) in violation of a restraining order of which the suspect has actual notice; or (ii) in violation of a condition of bond, probation or parole; or (iii) credible threats against the victim, a member of the victim's family or household; or (iv) by a person previously convicted of Stalking.
Penalty: Felony --- 5 yrs &/or $10,000 fine; probation from five years to any additional term of yrs.
Stalking a minor is a 5-year felony. Aggravated stalking of a minor is now a 10-year felony. Michigan's Stalking statute was found to be constitutional by the US 6th Circuit Court of Appeals (02/05/2001). Read the Opinion in Jerry Lee Staley v Kurt Jones.
Her claims are completely UNREASONABLE and her "emotional distress" is unsubstantiated and undocumented. Plus, later contact with you kind of precludes her claiming it's all un-consented contact. ALL the elements are necessary.
Mr. W
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Thanks Mr.W What would I do without MBer's. Sink
Wish me luck tomorrow.
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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I think your time on MB and active on your computer is a good verification that you weren't out hitting your wife or throwing her through a window. It would be pretty classic if she tried to pull a stunt like that and thought that by calling you at home she could presume you were unable to prove you weren't beating her up...only to discover you posted 4 time-stamped posts on MB at the time within the 1/2 hour she claims you were beating her up.
In your car...talk on your cell phone to a friend or something. Your phone documents all incoming and outgoing calls with a time stamp. Pretty tough to claim you're hitting her while making a 20 minute call to your mother, brother, uncle, neighbor...etc.
Keep brief notes of times you leave and arrive at differing places and journal it in summary form later. You are presumably already doing this about the kids. Include YOUR comings and goings too. Go for run...jot down the time you leave and return. Just be really detailed for a few days/weeks/months. Be observant and DON'T TRUST your WAYWARD wife. Sure your wife is somewhere still in there and she may APPEAR to be making a visit...but until and unless the affair is OVER...assume it's a trick and prepare yourself accordingly.
Mr. Wondering
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I meet with SH today. Is there anything other than my notes, his inventories and general info that I may need. I am more nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I am going home for the meeting so I will report on it afterwards. I just hope to have a plan by the end. That way I can continue the battle for what is right and God's will. Tks again for all the help and talk at you later today.
24 was awesome last night BTW
Me-34 (BS)
W-33 (WW)
DD-7
Married 3/28/1992
DDay 8/4/06
Seperated 8/18/06
Plan A Start 1/4/07
**A Warrior does not give up on what he Loves, he finds the Love in what he does.**
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