I already know she is sniffing around. My friends told me she has been calling them asking who I am seeing.

I am really confused after her actions today but I have been here before with her and I think she thinks I will persue her. Which ain't going to happen.

One thing about AOA, by moving the date up to Feb 6th I almost nullify my case against OM. But i knew that beforehand and was a choice I needed to make for the better of myself. So i am not sure how I can handle that yet. Still debating on the date thing. I think God intervened and put off my meeting with lawyer today to give me more time to think.

Any suggestions

This is the emotional disattachment we keep talking about. When you don't know if you care or not if they come back. It allows you some mental freedom, to make decision without the chaos.

Like you indicated in your last post, you can pull the trigger on divorce any time you wish. You can only save your marriage once before you do.

There is no hurry. Take your time.

SD

My thing is I made up my mind to move on because I really don't know if I can forget the things she has done. I know I can forgive but forgetting would be the hard part. If we did try and it didn't work then I would be back to square 1.

For the past 5 weeks I have been living as I want to live and I have been able to move past this. Now here I am again with mixed emotions.

As far as seeing someone, I have not done that. But my taker is getting eager to have some feelings for OS. I have not acted upon anything major because I know that wouldn't be right and I have friends that are watching my back.

I think right now I will continue to go forward to the divorce process and if God has other plans I will listen.

Wayward Spouse Handbook, page 3.

"How to justify a divorce because I can get my spouse to be 'unfaithful' to the marriage and get him/her interested in someone else."

This is part of the warped rationalization process that WS's try to justify in their minds the actions that they are taking and the projection of what 'they would do if they were the BS and had a WS like themself.'

Stand for the marriage and stand for God.




So you don't think your God is "big enough" or "strong enough" to help your 'unique' situtation?

pHB, "forgetting" is not possible. Forgiving is, and with forgiving a repentant spouse comes the ability treat the memories "as if" they didn't exist. But make no mistake about it, God does not forget our sins either, He just doesn't hold us accountable for them as it pertains to being "saved" or "unsaved." They are "covered over" by the blood of Christ and "hidden" from sight, not forgotten.

A couple who walks with God as the head and center of their lives and their marriage WILL grow closer to each other regardless of past sins and hurts. That is God's promise to believers.

Please check out the following representation of a "God-centered" marriage and that as both the husband and wife move closer to God, the "distance" between them shortens and they grow closer.


.........God
........../\
........./--\
......../----\
Wife/_____\Husband


God bless.


P.S. I am approaching 5 years from our initial "d-day" in one more week.

I can attest to the faithfulness of God in restoring our marriage, our love, and our walk with Him. I thought it seemed "impossible" back then. But God is in the "business" of doing the "impossible." Perhaps that may give you some hope and some comfort that nothing is impossible for God when we are humbly obedient to Him, our Lord.

I know he is big enough and that is his plans. I even told WW yesterday that I would not stand in Gods way if he moved us back together. I am only refering to myself right now as being ready to move on. I am physically and mentally drained and ready to move on

Understand that feeling very well.

(((((paranoidHB)))))

Haven't heard from WW today as of yet. Which is a good thing in my book because I am ready to move on.

Nobody has really commented on my wanting to move the separation date up. The reason for moving it up is to make the divorce go thru quicker. The downfall is that I could not file AOA papers against OM. I truly don't care about that right now because I am ready to move forward and get all of this behind me. But will it hurt me in the long run. If I do file and lose, I lose money & marriage. If I win, I get money but still lose marriage. So does it really matter either way as long as I can move on. I think not. let me hear your opinions about this because there may be something I am overlooking.

You are asking me to tell you what I think. You have to do what you feel. I think you know how you feel.

As for over looking something. If you file AOA - won't that just drag this whole mess out longer? I'm not sure, just asking.

pHB, if and when your WW comes a calling please don't let her play you. Play you for a fool, a BH, a man - you are too good for that and I think you know that.

AOA is a separate filing than divorce. You actually have 3 yrs to make that decision. But if I move the date I will not be able to do it. Don't really think I care at this point.

If WW does come calling I WILL NOT be played. I have been played long enough. I am preparing myself for her return whether she does or not. Ready for the battle.

This will get messy or more so. Please be there for your DD, I know you will. She needs at least one stable parent.

We'll be here when your ready to talk more.

My very best wishes for you and your family.

I don't think I am going to let it get messy. I hold the keys and will not open the door if she don't act right. I hope for DD's sake this will be peaceful.

I knew it was to good to be true. DD told me OM was over there last night. Guess that helps with my decision.

((((((((pHB)))))))

Has she received the D papers yet, pHB?

I suggest you allow them to be delivered, and once you know she has them in hand, allow her one week to make any move she might make.

Then you can decide whether or not you want her back.

SD

No divorce papers has been filed yet. My meeting got postponed until Monday. I did probably LB a while ago because I told WW it was her conscience she had to deal with not mine. I actually laughed the whold time I was talking to her. That might not have been to good but at this point I don't think it even matters.

Well I am going honky-tonking tonight so it may be very late if I get back on. I just hope to make it home.LOL First time in a long, long time for a night like this.

Behave yourself...your TaKeR will be screaming. Two wrongs don't make pHB a successful MB'er. LOL!

Well I made it home. Don't remember what time but I think it was around 4 AM. I did dance quite a bit with quite a few women but i didn't go home or anything else with them. I had a couple friends watching my back. I did have a good time. I was hoping WW would call while I was there but she didn't. I was going to hand the phone to whoever I was dancing with at the time. That would have been a hoot.

Everyone must be dissapointed in me because no one said anything to me about Friday night. I really didn't do anything bad. I still know my MB rules and didn't let anything lead to something else. I kept my nose clean.

Guess I/we just trusted you

Hope your batteries are recharged a bit

Though you are complicit with the divorce process you and I both know you are still married.

When I gave up, in the spring of 2005, things turned around shortly thereafter.

I pray God's will becomes clear for you soon.

Mr. Wondering

Me too. Why don't you check out my thread and go back to my posts on 11/8/06. I checked my voice activated digital recorder and heard her talk to OM about being with him once she saved up enough money to get a D and find a job in Boston, so I stopped enabling her by leaving her a note stating that she had until the end of the weekend to find somewhere else to stay and get health and car insurance and cell phone service, and I was filing for D on Friday so she could no longer sponge off me until she saved her money (because I was paying all the bills) and found another job (because it was going to take her a while). She agreed to NC that day, and has only broken it for 4 20 minute phone calls. That's a lot better than the hour long conversations with OM she was having in front of me every day.

You can tell she's flipping out. Why don't you tell us about OM #2 and where he fits into all of this. How did you find out?