She is going to try to keep you on the hook for support and security. But she will push you away for anything else intimacy etc. It's called Cake eating or fence sitting.

You really need to listen to these people who are on here posting to you. I never had this kind of support and had to go it alone. Did a lot of things right instinctively but missed many opportunities to nip it in the bud so to speak.
So instead of dealing with the A up front as I should have it was about 1 year and 6 months later that she finally ended it.

Get busy investigate, expose, and kill the A now!!!!!

DO NOT ENABLE HER AFFAIR!

I'm sure that most part-time jobs don't pay enough to pay for an apartment, utilities, cell phone, and spending money.

If she wants to "know what it's like to be single again," let her know what it is REALLY like to be single again. Don't let hubby still support her while she goes and fools around. Even if she isn't having a PA, she is definitely having an EA. This should be exposed to EVERYONE that would be in a position to put pressure on her to end the affair. This isn't between just you and her. You have children and it affects you entire extended family and circle of friends. If she communicates via cell phone with OM, and you pay for the cell phone, TURN IT OFF! Your WW may have headed off OM's advances up to now, but now that she is out of the house, she is more likely to get caught up in the A and give in. She probably thinks that even if she does do it, you probably won't find out or it doesn't matter because you are "separated." My WW was upset and told me when she found out what OM's intentions were. That didn't stop her from fooling around with him in a hotel room 2 weeks later. Don't let it happen to you. It will if you don't heed our warnings and follow our advice. It has happened to us as well. No one here thinks their WS could actually "do it" until they find out the truth.

Even if he's divorced

If it's somewhat recent or if there are kids involved ...he will not be happy if you expose to his X wife.

XW might insist, demand or file a legal claim forbiding him from exposing their children to your wife.

Point is...at some point busting up the affair is the 1st key to saving your marriage. If WW does it great, If OM does it great. Attacking $the affair from all sides increases your chances for success. Generally, getting a long distance OM to dump your wife cause it's just not worth it is the easiest way to end it.

That'a the way it happended for me. After exposure to my MIL, my MIL called OM (whom she knew cause my wife and he were high school classmates and he still lived 750 miles away in wife's hometown)...MIL chewed him out, OM dumped my wife the very next day.

Good luck

Mr. Wondering

p.s. - I don't know where I wrote it (spying 101 or the For Newly Betrayed Spouses" thread) but I conned my wife that I was able to obtain from Verizon wireless ALL of her text messages for the last three months. It wasn't true but she didn't know that. You should find that story and you likley can bluff your way right through the wall of denial. Long distance affairs often involve a lot of phone sex and/or text sex. To keep OM interested your wife HAD to play to this game. Also the spying 101 thread contains ways to find information on your wife's computer...even months old deleted emails can often be recovered off the hard drive.

One BIG thing I forgot to mention

In spring 2005 my then WW was shocked to realize I even cared she was having an affair.

Part of your wife's rationalizations and justifications is that eventually you'll be happier without her, that you won't care, that you will be OK, everyone will be happier.

Standing up for your wife and marriage against the evil forces of infidelity IS manly and attractive. Fighting for her, prevailing and recovering/rebuilding your marriage sends the strongest message you CARE and LOVE her than anything else ever could. YOUR feelings for her and your family will never be doubted again...IF YOU ACT.

Mr. Wondering

I like you never did expose to anyone. Felt it was just too personnal. Wrong!!!!!

Just allowed the whole thing to go on unempeded for all that time.

Oh protect your finances for you and your' children. WS are notorious for blowing college funds or any other money or assets they can get hold of and liquidate to maintain their A. Especially thinking this guy is out of state.

Bet he will be with her NYE!!!! Any takers?

hey Eric,,here are some abbreviations that may help you...
OW-other woman
OM-other man
EA-emotional affair
PA-physical affair
IC-individual counseling
MC-marriage counseling
WS-wayward spouse (the one who has the affair)
BS-betrayed spouse
NC-no contact

I think that is all of them...anyone have anymore?????
WW-wayward wife
WH-wayward husband
DD-daugter
DS-son