Thank-you AW for sharing, for what its worth, I think you are wonderful!! it takes real guts and fortitude to help other people out of the ashes! my personal opinion is that if we dont learn something from our pain and anguish, and be able to reach out to someone else and help...well then we went through all of it for nothing ...

When a person is "going through"... it seems like the folks that give the best comfort are truly the ones that have been there and done that. I thank you for your input, God Bless ya sister! SAS.

another thing I forgot to mention is that he still wears his wedding ring...except for when he cut his fingers he took it off for a few days, but made sure he told me it was in his wallet, and showed me he cut his fingers, then put it back on before he went to work again...as far as I know he leaves it on... for someone that doesnt want to be married, I find that interesting....sigh...~~~~~~~~~~
Is this mind screwing normal?

Nope.

Stay in Plan A. Do it to the absolute best of your ability. Expose to EVERYONE you know, if you haven't already. Expose to their work place, if they work together. Right now that's your best defense for breaking up the A. Takes the fantasy away. You want to hit them with reality so they start LBing EACH OTHER. Then he turns to you and you don't LB him...see how it works?

Trying to educate him while he's still a WH is an LB, not to mention waste of breath, no matter what the circumstances. Try using Orchid's reverse babble when he starts lying to you. It really works and is very funny to watch! He won't know what to think.

sas

H wearing the ring sounds like its some good news, however you can never really be sure because when the fog rolls in all sense goes.
If you feel there is no contact is there ANY chance of getting him to speak to the Harleys? Trouble is though they say its useless until there is no contact. If there's contact harleys say dont waste your money.
Commonsense too.

Plan A, follow the guide and let him see YOU are the person he should be with. Its being a lighthouse so to speak.

Hang in there sis! (and remember to vent here not there)
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks, I have set my resolve (again) to put on my happy plan A face and go full steam for awhile... until I can do the tsunami thing... and then will try to plan A a little longer after that... like I said my problem is that I have already been doing this for 3 months, and wh just found out a week ago that I knew about his A. Also my pastor reminded me that it really is in God's hands and I shouldnt be givin it to HIM then trying to take it back again...
I guess that is my main assignment (again) for this week, this day, this minute... I wish that all BS's could win the lotto so at least they would have money to do something fun in the while waiting for the aliens to leave. lol.

There is contact every week for at least 3 days a week at work, and more if the best friend/bil calls and hands ow the phone... and probably emails on his private account etc... just dont know. I think that is probably the part that makes me the craziest...NOT knowing what is going on.

I have a vivid imagination and of course that makes it worse too..lol.....

It continues to be my prayer that wh gets outta the fog and gets some help (any help, any where) as long as it is help!

but at this point its gonna take a miracle! its ok, I believe in miracles.... just short on patience...lol sas.

Stph, I missed your post...(darn these glasses!)
Im still working on the exposure thing, and I do understand the principals needed for this thing to work... just a little tired of it all right now... you understand Im sure;o)
I will do my best to remember that trying to educate wh is just feeding pearls to pigs. you are right! If I were to stop and think about it I cover more ground with WH when I just let God kick his butt. Thanks for your replies! SAS.

Try zabasearch.com - it has really good info most times. If you don't get what you need, do an Intelius search on her, and look for him as an associate in her file.

thx neak, I have tried that too... all I get is a BUNCH of former addresses for the past 3 yrs... I think they have moved at least 6 times in the past 3 yrs... whitetrash nomads it seems... and lots of family names cause they have used other family member's names to get utilities turned on, due to bills owed I imagine... anyway, I have a couple more things to try to find owxh... I know where he works, just not which shift or what he drives... onward and upward !!


I think Im gonna have to look into the voice activated recorder thing... I think what is happening is that wh calls ow (as soon as I leave) , she doesnt answer so it wont show on our phone bill, then she calls him back... I got home early yesterday, and he jumped up and ran to the other phone and cleared the caller I.D. so I guess I need the voice A.R. thing... didnt want to spend the $ on it, and worry about him finding it, but dont know what else to do at present as he seems to be staying close to home to prove me wrong about A...do voice recorders make noise when they click off and on? it would have to be installed next to computer and I dont want him to find it...
somehow he gets around my spyware, (now our puter is mysteriously broken btw...)

Thanks all for your help it cheers me really~~!!

PS. I had a wonderful fantasy yesterday about wh... he gets a terrible urinary tract infection and thinks he has VD.
knowing him he wouldnt go to Dr, until he was practically in a wheel chair over it...LOL!!!!!!!!
that fantasy perked me up for hours!!! (I even asked God to actually do that to him too)...Im sick that way, cant help it...lol. SAS.

I do understand. You will get tired. That's when you need to be still and let God handle it. This is a loonnnngggg, tiring, roller coaster battle. I've wanted to get off of the roller coaster so many times, I can't even count them! But hang in there. It gets easier with time. Just be still. Only give up when you want your M to fail!

Exposure is very, very, very important. You have to do it to break up the affair...that's what this is all about right? Breaking up the A and saving your M. Keep your eye on the goal. Expose to EVERYONE who can/will do something about what they're doing. Break up their gross fantasy. IT NEEDS TO BE DONE.

You're doing well. Hang in there.

thanks! going to get the recorder in a little while...;o)
hopefully "they" will clue me in as to where to find owh...
and I do know that I NEED to be still and let HIM handle it.
HE does a way better job messing them up than I do at this point...lol.

Im active in this thing again today so having a good day ...so far anyway... ;o) thx STPH!