Doc says between 2-4 days, fever should abate and throat should begin to feel MUCH better, which is good, because I feel like I'm swallowing razors, YEEEEEOUCH!

SL:

Hope you are feeling better...

And yes, WH needs to see DS pain....

That his Inability to face reality causes.

I'd cook you some chicken soup, if I thought I could get it to you still warm...

LG

((((sl))))

Sounds like it's time for a cup of tea or something! I sure to hope you feel better...

Sounds like DS is doing a little projection of his own...

"Daddy said he's a jerk and I am part of daddy so that must make me a jerk!" Oh, poor baby! Makes me want to hug him!

Hey, what about D Care for kids? 13 week program that teaches kids how to deal with their feeling and it starts at age 4...

Go to www.divorcecare.com and top of the page find a group...

Just a suggestion...You ARE a great MOTHER!

LG, I spoke with WH about this today, and I could hear the pain in HIS voice. He said that DS does ask him questions, but it sounds like WH is using a poor choice of words to express his reasoning, so, as Rin said, he may be projecting that upon himself. Reality is hitting him smack upside the head right now.

I've emailed a list of things for him to remove from the house that he keep leaving behind. Apparently, he either doesn't understand what MOVING OUT means or he is trying to stall because he has no place to put his STUFF and knows that, financially of course, this is going to be a burden. He may have other reasons, but I have not been made aware of them. It's funny, I keep telling him to go, but he just can't seem to do it all. WH SOUNDED pretty deflated when we spoke today. Wish he could remove his head from his hindquarters and help his son.

I thought about divorce care; I will dig deeper.

SL:

You are not doing PLAN B?

I still strongly recommend a psychotherapist specially trained in treating children, a clinical or counseling psychologist. I'm sure there must be plenty of those in your area.

Mimi, I'm still doing Plan B, but had made an executive decision to involve my WH in DS's current issues. Despite what is related here, I do believe that WH doesn't want to hurt his son. WH also has more access to counseling throuh his work.

I will be looking into those specializing in dealing with children in these situations.

Other than this conversation about his son, I have emailed about items that can be removed from the house. Again, intermediary bailed, and most are just not willing to step into the 'middle' of this. I must do what I must do...

Actually, what I meant to say is that I don't think WH wants to hurt DS, and has been delusional in his thinking that his actions would not hurt DS. NOW, due to my conversation regarding DS, WH KNOWS of DS's dilemna, his pain, his suffering, DUE to WH's choices. I would never shield WH from the consequences of his choices, and I firmly believe in informing him of DS's behavior, so that WH can find a way to talk with DS.

WH has put himself into a deep, dark hole in the ground, and is finding that the only way out if to call for help. He's still foggy, still selfish, and, unfortunately, my DS needs his father. We're in a tough spot, but I have faith that we will all find our way.

I'm feeling like a cat that has lost one of it's lives, so I'm a bit tired, never had strep throat before, and it's working me over pretty well. I'm going to keep looking tomorrow for counseling.

DS, AGAIN, this evening complained of having bad dreams and asked to sleep in my bed. I said no, but I did comfort him and we talked about his dreams. I think he needs a lot of reassurance and a lotalove! Good guidance on coping from a therapist will be most helpful.

Today has been a bit overwhelming. I'm gonna get some sleep.

Hey Silent - here's my secret sleeper trick that sooths and comforts, as well as knocks the kid right out cold!

When my son was dealing with my husband's and my separation, he was just younger than 4 years old as well. Our separation had been triggered by some pretty nasty fighting. Son was very empathetic and protective of me, so I held myself pretty together for him. He started having night terrors. I would cuddle/hold him and gently stroke the very center of his forehead in a clockwise circular motion with the padded part of my fingertip. It would take less than 5 minutes for his breathing to deepen and he'd have a calm, uneventful slumber after that.

Later, when my husband went to massage therapy school, we learned that I had been stroking his "third eye" or what is referred to as calming his spiritual eye. Even today, the child is a growing young man with a baritone voice and is now, as of this last month - taller than me, he will snuggle up while we are reading scriptures as a family each night and put my hand on his forehead so that I can stroke it.

My mother used to stroke my hair to soothe me. I would listen to her heart beat. I do that for my DS. After a minor hiccup last night, DS slept all the way through. I'm still home today, still feel body weary and as if I'm swallowing razor blades, but I'm gettin better.

sl.....just getting caught up after a banner weekend.
hope you are feeling better.

may be too late, but until the antibiotics work...motrin every 6 hours and obviously cold stuff soothes the throat, and also hot stuff....like soups and hot cocoa, and a warm compress on the neck or throat to relieve some of the discomfort (it also sends more blood to the area...speeds healing and stuff)

breaks my heart to hear about your son...sounds like you are doing what you can...the inability to protect our kids through this is the worst part...and I hate feeling helpless when it comes to my kids...my heart goes out to you and your son
((((((((((sl's DS))))))))

sl....don't forget the silver lining to any minor illness...the loss of a pound or two>>> lol <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

but swallowing razor blades is a bit too far to go...strep is really painful...for those who have never experienced it...when do you hit 48hrs after antibiotics??? thats when you will start to feel better:)
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Thanks fighting,

It's good to have a nurse around. I've never had strep, so I didn't know how truly painful it was. I was in bed all weekend, and am still home from work today. I'm feeling much better, but the throat is still tender (getting better with every 8 hour dose of ab's). My body is still a bit weary, I had an accompanying ear infection that has thrown my equilibrium off a little, but I'm feeling better.

Feeling a bit down today, having to let go again has it's ups and downs. Cried a little; better than a lot. It will be good when I have definitives on getting the proper counseling for my DS. I called the school district department of school psychologists and am awaiting a call back for information.

This weekend will be good. I know I'll feel better, and I have a babyshower to go to with my DS. Other kids will be there and I'll get a chance to relax and have fun. No thinking involved. I was thinking of taking DS to the movies and maybe having an early dinner. I know Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' movie is out and also The Last Mimsy. I think DS would like TMNT better.

I've been thinking about ME lately, and how much better I will feel when I get WAYWARD H out of my head. I will need to get this care for DS ironed out, and then I will be a bit more settled.

Feeling for you today, SL. Hang in there, you continually amaze me with your strength. Hope you feel better soon.

Fox

I'm teetering on the fence of the question du jour. To D or not to D?

Far too emotional today to make this decision, so today the answer is NOT TO D. I look at my cellphone and visualize myself looking up the lawyers number and hitting SEND. The fact that I'm UNSURE, leads me to wait. I think my emotions are running a bit high because of my son, and I feel the need to run; we all know that won't change a thing. DS will still have problems and I will still HAVE to deal with them. There's no way out.

AND, I want a D, so that I can shake loose this horrible man from my life; I DON'T want a D so that I can Plan B and see whether H has any fight left in him, to find his way back. I still feel like an idiot for believing. I've been sitting home for too long, and that leads to EMOTIONAL thinking. I'm not clear right now, and I NEED to let go.

Too much time to think can be dangerous...

sl,

I am sorry that you are still feeling the effects of that strep. Sore throats are the worst because nothing really helps. You just have to get through it.

I am glad you are letting yourself think through all your options. You will know what to do when it is time. And you are very right to wait until you "know thst you know."

Sending good wishes and peace your way...

IHC

Just finished reading Pep's thread about Buyers/Renters/Freeloader, and Giver/Taker, POJA and so on...

Just thinking of who I am today and who I have been. When I got married, I was a Renter/with my GIVER in HIGH GEAR. I THOUGHT relationships SHOULDN'T be that much WORK. Sort of a freeloader mentality, only because I didn't believe I was doing that much work.

I remained that way until I got pregnant, then BAM, I was a BUYER with GIVER in HIGH GEAR. No POJA occurred in our M. I would let H know what I was doing when I was doing it, but never asked for him to agree or disagree. WH did the same. I would just think that this is the way R's are, and I can't change that.

My Giver was in HIGH GEAR, right up until Plan B. I was still a BUYER in Plan B, until a bit of detachment from WH occurred, then I became a renter, however, my Giver was still there, calling the shots. I was draining my OWN reserves, with martyrdom, with disrespect.

When WH returned home AGAIN this time, I was a renter, and I began to let my Taker say a few things, no demands, just taking care of me, asking for honesty/openness (emotional/physical/logistical). This time around, the night WH left, I talked to him for hours. I showed him that I could still be disrespectful (behaviors that are hard to change)not good. I'm still working on that; part of my problem was not listening, and continually DEFENDING my view point, as if it was the RIGHT one. I'm learning, and hope to find better balance with this. I'm learning this with my son, to listen and not disrespect him (yknow, like we parents do, with the "Oh, you SHOULDN'T feel that way--bad case of the shoulds)

I'm still a renter now, and my Taker is OUT, which is good for me.

sl....I am feeling for you today........how about a good book or movie to distract the senses???

too much time is very emotional...round and round the mulberry bush.

I posted to my thread today that I got a call from the school nurse who has had a freq visiter this week(DS8)
I think he needs someone to talk to, so we are going to set up some counseling through the school.

gosh, this really bites....it makes me continue to hope for my M more for the sake of my children...I am interested to see what they say about counseling for your son? will that be in the presence of a parent? I have a DS3 and DD5 and not sure how best to get them support

I haven't received a call back from the psych department for our school district, so I will be calling back. I would like for his counseling to be in my presence, or maybe joint counseling so that we can both learn how to talk to one another, and cope.

I just got off of the phone with them. The supervisor has been in meetings all day, and I should be expecting his call shortly.

Just wanted to let you know that I'm trying to keep up...LOL...I think we are alike in the fact that we are go getters...get it done and over with...

So, it's one less thing that I have to do later! I don't like to procastinate! LMAO

I would be so proud to have a mother like you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Rin. I think you are doing an incredible job of taking care of 'business' too. Your children will know that you have done everything that you can to help them deal with this problem and prepare them for many more by helping them find ways to cope with adversity, either through counseling or by reaching out to others.

As I have said before, you WILL be a MB success story. You did 'do the do'. You have walked this path and have found your answers. You have learned enough about yourself to break free from abusive behaviors and to see a situation and person AS THEY ARE. It is tough to break free from abuse when it is all that you have been shown from childhood through adulthood. You have learned how WORTHY you and your children are of a happy, healthy, abuse-free life. BRAVO to you, my dear.