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I will talk with the office people again today and tell them about the drug arrest. Maybe it will light a fire under them. Tell them you're uncomfortable with a drug user living above you- why, they could be making meth up there and set the place on fire. Tell them that you're sure they don't want other people to find out about it because they might not want to live there anymore- which will hurt their renter base. Say you'd hate for anyone else to find out. That's not threatening but just planting the seed that you may not be quiet about it.
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I will talk with the office people again today and tell them about the drug arrest. Maybe it will light a fire under them. Tell them you're uncomfortable with a drug user living above you- why, they could be making meth up there and set the place on fire. Tell them that you're sure they don't want other people to find out about it because they might not want to live there anymore- which will hurt their renter base. Say you'd hate for anyone else to find out. That's not threatening but just planting the seed that you may not be quiet about it. Very nice. I like it.
BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07
"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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This is why I want to focus on getting Mrs DF to move also. How to do that? The only thing I'm coming up with is to get OM to tell her off. I know OM may not give a rats a55 about Dog, but he did kinda help once already, why not again? You know, Dog may have to tell the Apartment Co about the drug bust if OM doesn't help out here.
1. NC for good
2. Mr and Mrs need to move together
M2L
ME BH 36 - FWW 33
2 kids
DDAY May 06
Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
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Yeah, That's what I mean start playing dirty.
JKG
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I just had a thought. This would force her out of the apartment. Since I am technically not on the lease for our apartment, we have been living in violation of the lease agreement. That is ground for us to get evicted. Since it is her name on the lease, she would have a heck of a time finding someplace new.
BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07
"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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Another part of the equation is get her away from the interfering friends.
JKG
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But then, there is still the question of her coming with me after that would happen.
BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07
"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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Anything that will you both out and together is good.
JKG
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Another part of the equation is get her away from the interfering friends. Out of the two, I only know one. And she is not talking to me. I know the first name of the other one, but do not know her personally.
BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07
"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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So the plan is:
Get her to move out and go with you.
Assure NC
Find her a new job away from the friends.
Then work on the M.
Now is how to do it?
JKG
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So the plan is:
Get her to move out and go with you.
Assure NC
Find her a new job away from the friends.
Then work on the M.
Now is how to do it? That's what I don't know, how to do it. Getting her to move with me? I can bring it up, but I have a strong feeling as to what the answer is going to be. She is super ticked off at me right now. I got that vibe this morning when I said good-bye to her when she left for work and she slammed the front door in response. The one friend that I know, she has been my WW best friend for the past 14 years. She has a history of being in destructive relationships. My WW knows this, because we have talked about it on several occasions. And this is who she is getting advice from.
Last edited by Dogfood; 01/15/07 01:41 PM.
BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07
"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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Why is she so angry today? Did FIL get hold of her?
Hmmmm....
About friend that is exactly my point. The friend may be as bad or worse for the M right now as the OM.
JKG
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Why is she so angry today? Did FIL get hold of her?
Hmmmm....
About friend that is exactly my point. The friend may be as bad or worse for the M right now as the OM. I think she is angry today because the OM followed through with what I asked and told her no more contact. She acted this way on the first round.
BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07
"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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That's good!!!!!!
Now you need the pressure from family, people at work, friends. Whoever.
You need to impress to the family how important this is that they help you with this. Exposure itself does nothing. It's the presuure that follows that makes the impact.
JKG
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"All it takes for bad things to happen is for good people to say nothing"!!!!!
Heard that somewhere.
JKG
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That's good!!!!!!
Now you need the pressure from family, people at work, friends. Whoever.
You need to impress to the family how important this is that they help you with this. Exposure itself does nothing. It's the presuure that follows that makes the impact. I am working that. I spoke with her uncle last night and hopsully he will start getting the word out. He is well respected in the family. I am going to talk with her grandmother this afternoon. She likes to stay out of open conflict, but will talk about it and give her opinion to my MIL. Her grandmother is also a victim of an A
Last edited by Dogfood; 01/15/07 02:11 PM.
BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07
"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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Then she should be a willing participant. She knows first hand the hurt it causes.
JKG
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Then she should be a willing participant. She knows first hand the hurt it causes. Very true. Since her friend will not answer my phone calls, I am going to attempt to send an email and follow up with a letter. We will see how that goes.
BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07
"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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Well,
I went to the therapist today and we talked for about 90 minutes. She would like to see my WW to talk to her. She said I could try to negotiate with my WW to get her in. 3 sessions and then we talk about the big D.
But, I found out today that my WW saw an attorney, so it is probably going to happen anyway.
I had dinner with her grandmother. She said that my WW is being stupid, but there isn't much we can do about that.
It sucks because I am getting no support from anyone on her side of the family for this. Noone wants to make a call to her to tell her to stop this crap. They all say "She has to decide on her own". I lay out the whole situtation, what needs to be done to save the marriage and I get nothing.
BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07
"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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My WW went to see a lawyer, but she never filed. A lot of times they'll have sticker shock. Don't let her have the money for a retainer; cut her off. She can't file if she can't afford a lawyer. Your situation is not hopeless. A lot of times they'll do this to try and win OM back. Just try to ensure there is NC.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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