Although, if she has picked up something (hopefully cureable), I can't imagine a better way to take the "romance" out of an affair. Icky!! I'd think that might trip a light switch in there, somewhere.

Mys

My WW said her Dr. suspected an STD.

And I agree, nothing until I am checked. Not that I will be doing anything anytime soon. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I can only hope...

Maybe this is the thing that's been needed to help clear her thinking up.

Just be totally supportive. Plan A, Plan A, Plan A, Plan......

Lots of times a WS will try to turn it around as if your having an A. Very common for this to happen. Just fog talk

That is what I figured. Not that I want anything bad to happen to her, but in a way I am hoping she does have something. Like someone mentioned, it could be a nice little wake up call.

Does the Dr. also suspect that your WW is pregnant? That could explain the "spotting thing" WW says she has.
Mulan

Good point.

Dog, will your wife take a small trip with you to get away from all this crap? Something short and/or nearby? If you are where it is cold then a hotel with a pool would be nice.

Nothing romantic, just fun.

DF,

M2L has the idea. Just try to get her to do something fun with you. She needs to be comfortable enough around you to begin to see a hope for the two of you together. Having to deal w/ the A and serious talk about deep seated issues will drain both of your love banks pretty quickly. Just be together.

The cooking lessons could be a good start. Then maybe pick a place to go out for dinner. Try Cajun or Thai or sushi or something completely new to both of you. You make the plans and invite her to go. If she knows that you aren't going to beat her up about the A, she might actually enjoy herself. If she refuses to join you, then you go alone and tell her how great it was when you get home.

Mark

The STD test is something I would re-expose to the family and friends. You have proof in your own mind now, that she has had a physical affair.

Great ideas, but I can't even get her to go the grocery store with me, and that is someplace she loves to go.

I will try tho. I like the idea about the restaurant.

I came home from work and I was greeted by a bunch of storage type containers. Looks like she is ready to start packing.

I'll let the family members know of the STD test.

Just need to vent.
She sends an email to her father, not bringing up the A or the OM at all, but the main focus is on how terrible our entire relationship was since day one and what a terrible person I am in general and how she tried and tried to make it work, but I offered nothing. Ugh.

Things like this just tick me off. My frame of mind right now is to just leave and let her sink.

Stay with me here Dog!!!

She is talking crap - you know this. He)) my wife said these things and much worse. ALL FOG talk.

She can't say she was bad so she sees you as the bad one in your M. Mrs.Dog good - Mr. Dog bad

How else could a person have any kind of an A? Poor girl was driven to it (A) b/c you were such a bad H for so long.

IGNOR IT DOG.

Go out for a walk. Drive around and listen to the radio.

I know, I know...but still....GRRR!!

She asked me today if I would keep her on my benefits plan until hers kick in, quite possibly in August of this year.
Any thoughts on that?

Hey 'food:

You said before that her mom left her dad 2 have an A?

Do you think he's so s2pid that he can't see through her fogscreen?

I'm betting he knows exactly what she "means" by what she says. She's confirmed what you've already exposed.


I'm curious about Mulan's suggestion - that Mrs food may be preggars. it's quite possible that she didn't tell the Dr everything he needed 2 make an accurate diagnosis. For example, I can imagine he might have asked "when did you and your H have SF last?" and she'd answer "X months ago", he did the math, and ruled out pregnancy.

Let me tell you a story:

years before I discovered my W's LTA, like 13 years ago, I had a fungal infection in my nether regions. Went 2 the doctor, who asked how many SF partners I had. I said "one, my W". He then asked, "what about as far back as 10 years ago?" My answer "one" because by that time we'd been M'd for 19 years.

I don't think he asked me "what about your W?" But if he had, I would have proudly proclaimed what a faithful gal she always was and will forever be.

At the time, she was in her A with RM. It just 2k me another 7 years 2 trip over it.


If it 2rns out she's preggars with the OM's tyke, you'll have a difficult decision of your own 2 make even if she does decide 2 stay in the M.

I hope that's not the case, but you'll know soon enough, I suppose, if it is.

And if it is, there are people here who've dealt fabulously with just such sitches.

Hang in there,
-ol' 2long

Is she going to be living with you? If not, then no. Once she moves out, I'd let her know she would have until X to get covered.

Sorry I didn't address what Mulan raised.
There could be a possibity that she is pregnant, but she has been on the pill for the 6.5 years, so doubtful. But, it still happens.

Thanks 2long. Her father knows the score. He sent me an email saying he is "perplexed by her decision".

As for her remaining on the benefits, I will cut her off if she moves out. Thanks again.

Well, I think they might be seeing each other again. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

She was gone and he was gone, I went for a walk and when I got back she was home and so was his car.

She is moving out on the 15th of Feb, got the place lined up, etc...they just have to wait for the application to be processed and they should know that by tomorrow.

The only thing that will hold her back is I have said no to taking over the lease on the current apartment.

She is asking me for $1000 per month in support (get real).
I said no.

I will continue with plan A with the time alloted to me, but I am seeing no light at the end of the tunnel.

Keep making it uncomfortable to carry on her affair. If you believe she was out with OM again, let her know. Remember, you are trying to make it as uncomfortable as possible. Talk to the OM again. Follow up on what the apartment complex does. Remember, if your WW moves out, she isn't going to be financially enabled to carry on the affair any more. She isn't going to get her financial needs met by you anymore. The OM sure ain't going to meet them. If she stays with you, she can't come an go as she pleases. You can ride this out, but it will likely take you cutting her off financially. Don't forget to let her family know that she possibly exposed you to STD's. Remember, you need to hold her accountable for her behavior. This will lead to violent swings in mood, but if you can ride this out, you've got a shot.