For right now continue doing a Great Plan A When she is around be positive and upbeat. All the things everyone has talked about as long as possible.

I'm trying my best. So far so good in that dept, but this is hitting me hard right now. I am pacing the apartment and can't stop.
I'm going to the gym in a bit, so hopefully that will help.

Good!

Plan A is about you, not her

Am still at a loss. I am still thinking of writing my MIL one last time, because at this point I feel like I have nothing to lose.

I don't know. Heading to the gym in a minute.

I don't think you should write your MIL again.

-ol' 2long

Half or more of the time, WS's don't do what they threaten to do.

Be still for 36 hours.

Personally I would give it a shot. There are others that say no. But you are hurting too and could use some of MIL counseling as well. Maybe if she understood the whole story as I said yesterday she may be able to see a way to help you both survive this together.

If you do go back and reread yesterdays posts to see if anything I said makes sense at all because it is how I would want to talk to her if it were me. Not the words as much as the sentiment.

maybe something like:
I am appealing to you as your adopted son who loves your D. Please Don't shut me out as I am in need of your advice and help here too.

I know what everyone would say, it is pleading and therefore not appealing.
Then again you are not trying attract her but rather trying to appeal to her sympathy for your situation.

Maybe she needs to know how much this is hurting you too. Then again maybe that is what they both want. I don't know.

Only you can decide how to proceed.

Anyone else with an opinion?????

OK I'll just shut up!!! Forget my last post. I defer to those of much more experience in this area.

I am still up in the air regarding the MIL.
I got home from the gym and my WW and her friend (the future roommate) were listening to music.
I was introduced, put on the happy face and stuff. The subject of the cats came up so I used the opportunity to start telling stories about our cats. It got them both laughing hysterically. Our cats can be silly.

She seems determined to move out, they are talking about what things of my WW they are going to bring into the new apartment, etc...

The sad part is, I like her new friend (not in that way). She is a nice person.

This sucks. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

The problem is, they have the apartment lined up and the momentum is there. My WS probably won't back out because she will not want to upset her friend and look weak in front of her.

I have been keeping an eye here. Tell you WW that nothing from the apartment except for her personal belongings can be removed. That is marital property and again... your goal is to not make this easy!

I agree with MEDC. Also, let her know that you will not be taking on the lease. Get a new place nearby, and move all the marital property there. Make this hard on her.

That is the way this played. Make it as difficult as possible on the WS so they see being with you as the more attractive place to be. In this case with MIL enabling that may be more difficult.

how's it going this morning.?

Haave you told her this is NOT what you want yet? Tell she can change her mind and stay!

She should think about not wanting to destroy her M instead of being worrying about upsetting her friend. Her friend would get over it quickly and move on.

Coffee time!!!!

Right now she does not care about the M. I told her last night after her friend left that she should stay for a little while, she could save some money this way, etc..
She said no, she has to go. But, she did thank me for supporting her financially in the past.

I tucked her into couch, and as I was saying goodnight, she said "I think I should tell you, I have not seen the OM since you talked to him". I said, "Ok, I appreciate you telling me that".

I dunno.

The only place nearby I can get will be renting a room. I cannot afford to rent another apartment in the area.

Oh, and she would only be taking stuff that is her's before we were married.

Then get one of those portable storage units (pods) and put all the marital assets in it one day while she's at work. Let her have her clothers, a spoon, and a can opener.

Make sure the landlord has her forwarding address so she can experience the consequences of breaking the lease.

Are you taking the out-of-town job?

I already have the job, but can either work from home or commute in a couple days per week. Work is being very understanding about this whole thing.

Saw my wife again this morning. The cold is hitting her very hard. She asked me to wake her at 8am and when I did she croaked "I can't move".
I transfered her to he bed with her clinging on to me, tucked her in and kissed her forehead and told her to "fell better soon".

We'll see. She did mention last night that she doesn't know how she is going to come up for the deposit for the place. Or first months rent, etc....

What about offering to pay for our current apartment, bills, etc...if she stays and gives me half her paycheck?

Its is a thought worth considering.

As long as NC you start working on the M as she begin to get through withdrawal..

Something I might bring up later today. I asked her what her plans are today and she said she had some stuff to do around 1130, but other than that not a whole lot.
I suggested we go get some dinner tonight and she said "Yeah...maybe...we'll see" as she drifted off into sleep.
Anyway, plants the seed for her mind to workover while she snoozes.

I think I did good last night. All three of us ended up talking and laughing for the better part of two hours. I kept bringing up stories of when we lived in Florida and how a bird we were watching for some friends chased us around the house. I did the imitations and stuff and my W was laughing so hard she could barely breathe.
My W really loosened up around me and there wasn't a whole lot of tension when I tucked her in (amazing she is even allowing me to do that....three times in 24 hours).