Duh...that doctor visit. No, all tests for STD's and stuff were negative. I've been listening to one sided conversations and checking her email and nothing indicates anything abnormal.

I think the STD test was in preparation for "things to come"

So they, she and OM, were getting tested for each other?

That's interesting. That's a connection.

So then what they were saying about nothing had happened, was Just Not YET!!!!

Still think it's all about dumping you so she can be with OM.

Keep up the pressure on OM and don't them break NC without you knowing.

Get someone you can count on next week to keep vigil while you are gone.

IMHO

I don't know of anyone who would do that for me and is close to my W.

But, tomorrow, when she is as work I am going to have another chat with the OM just to make sure we are on the same page.

Just think it would be a good precaution if you can. Why do they have to be close to W? Just to keep an eye out for some strange coming and going. Like have a camera at the ready. Remember the A O A lawsuit concept.

Don't Trust a thing he or she says would be my thought.

Anyway talk later.

I will add to what is becoming my online journal.

Wife left the house very agitated and angry. Her friend (the roommate) picked her up.
About 90 minutes later, I get a phone call from the W. Her friend's car died and they needed a jump. So, the BH to the rescue. I went and jump started the car, and my W rode home with me. She was in a pretty good mood until we got home, and then it was back into fog mode.
She stayed in the office for about three hours listening to music. I went to the gym during this time and got back..she asked me how it went and what I did and then proceeded to criticize my workout saying I am doing everything all wrong, etc...I just said OK. Hey, I only had my friend show me what to do, and he knows more than most personal trainers. He he he. This is almost getting fun.

One thing of interest to me was one particular song she listened to about three times in a row. It is called "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers. This song has been somewhat of an anthem for me.
It is a song about being on the receiving end of an affair.

She got ready for bed and I said goodnight and didn't get much a response back. No backrub tonight!

I agree, but when I am on my trip, she will supposedly be in her apartment. Hmm...actually, that might make it easier for someone to keep watch.

Today I have to be gone most of the day. I might get home a couple of hours before she leaves for work this evening.
When that happens, I have my follow-up with the OM.

I am going to leave her a "thinking of you" card before I leave. My WS is very mechanically inclined, as opposed to me...who is allergic to tools. She changed the headlights in her car yesterday, they were being a pain, but she did it...but in the past I have seen her swap out alternators and radiators like it was nothing.

So in the card I wrote, "Way to go on the headlights!! You are way more mechanically inclined than I can ever hope to be. That is something I have always admired in you. Have a great day!"

Yea, full of romance, I know....but I building up to that stage.

Gotta go!

Or...
Being mechanically inclined you know the importance of having the right tools handy to do a job well. I think the same thing about our marriage and have learned new and better ways to do things that could make our life together very rewarding. I would love to have the opportunity to show you, my wife, all that I have learned so that we can take on the project of building our life together.

I like that, but it is too late. I will write something like that in a letter very soon.

Latest entry. My WS WILL be moving out, like she planned.
I got home from the office at about 4pm today, she was listening to music with lyrics like "You love me, so why don't you come to me", etc...she was playing it loud enough for the OM to hear, who is home upstairs. This is a good sign that NC is still in progress.

Anyway, she was cold and distant at first, but loosened up just a little bit. She layed down to take a nap before she heads out to work. That gave me a little snooping time. Found a Western Union transfer in the amount of $400 from her step father (the one that molested her long ago). Argh. The idiot.
He is one person who I haven't talked to, but maybe I should.

Anyway, I am planning on her moving out this Friday.
The next step is tonight, while she is at work, I am going to talk with the OM again. What do you think? Should I tell him what to expect, that she is going to desperately try to contact him and to reitereate that he should not respond?
I don't know.

In some way, I am relieved that she will be moving out. This will get her away from him and greatly reduce the chance of accidental contact (like a chance meet going up the stairs). He also will not be 10 feet above her head.

But, at the same time, I am worried that once she is gone...she will be gone.

Food:

If it were me, I wouldn't talk 2 the OM anymore. Sure, it might seem useful 2 get news from the horse's mouth, but you'd be talking 2 the other end, I fear.

Consider the possibility that you're cluing him in 2 your plans every time you speak with him. Even if you don't say anything specific, he can get news of what your W is doing and how you're getting along with her by the simple fact that you keep approaching him.

You want him out of your life, not an integral part of it. NC applies 2 YOU as well as HER.



As for your W's moving. Are you going 2 help with the move?

-ol' 2long

Yep! you definitely should.


I don't know, I think they will do what they want regardless of what you say at this point.

All you really can do now is work on you and take a wait and see position.
Plan A when given the opportunity.

You do realize with her moved out and you gone next week It will most likely be a free for all..... She will definitely make a major push would be my guess. Are you ready? Got someone to verify? SPY!!!!!

I can see that point about not talking to the OM, but what I fear is that now that she is moving out and away from me, that will provide him with an opening as he might view that I have given up on the M.

As for helping her move, as of right now she will not even tell me where she is moving to. I know, already, but she doesn't know that.

I will offer my help and see what she says.

JKG,

I will talk with her Step Father-In-Law tonight after she leaves for work. Maybe I can convince him to take the money back. He is also a pilot, and we have always gotten along well.

As to the OM, he had the fear of God in him the last time we spoke. He seemed like he really wanted to wash himself of this mess. I just don't want him to get the impression that once she is out of this apartment and on her own, that she is free game to him.

Asking Step Father to take money back will likey be seen as you being vindictive by her. FWIW.
But he needs to know your story.


OM will do what he will regardless is MO.

If you feel like you want to talk to OM word it like:

"No matter what happens between my wife and I you are to still have NC with her. Our issues are ours and you are to not talk to or see her. Is that clear? .... Is it clear."

Don't tell OM that your wife is moving out or anything. None of his beeswax.

If your wife is moving I think I would offer to help her move. If nothing else you get to see the new apartment.

still pulling for you Dog

DF,

You made a comment that I wanted to point out and make sure you understand its risk, you said this was almost getting fun, in regards to you not being triggered by your WW, you learning to control yourself, you growing as an individual.

I think I was there once and this can be a area that you have to watch, you are growing your are bettering yourself, your not better that your WW.

I found it easy to brush off the trigger's and act instead of react, it became easy as I learned the coping skills but don't get into the mindset that this is mind game.

Reflect on who you have become and make these changes perminent, you could psych yourself out make these changes are then revert back to old pattern's because you got cocky.

Remember if at the she leaves you and doesn't come back, you are going to be a far better person, while she will still be in the place she is at now, alone and miserable.

VK

Point taken. I do not think of this as a mind game. It is serious business. What I meant by the comment tho, is how this is playing out, how I am seeing the reactions I want to see because it does give me hope.