Another addition for tonight.

W called just about 10 minutes ago. She is on her lunch break. At first, it was to ask me to lay out some clean sweats and a shirt for her so she can change in to them when she gets home, as I will already be in bed.
It was obvious, she didn't want to hang up, so I started the ball rolling with questions about how her evening was going (slow tonight) and that led to more general conversation.

Oh, and I will bring her the clicker tonight. I was thinking about just leaving it in her car, but I think I will go in. What says the jury?

What's a clicker?

If you don't think it'll backfire, do it. Keep it light.

-ol' 2long

That's what we call the little remote control for the front gate (we live in a gated community). She left hers on the counter before she went to work.

Don't know if it will backfire. I mentioned it again during our phone conversation and she said "yea...well..whatever...you don't have to worry about it if you don't want to."

She sounded down throughout the conversation.

She's still in conflict about all of this.

Yeah! I would go give her the clicker and see how the mood is. If Good then maybe have a cup of coffee, Soda or something. If not, then leave, but whichever be upbeat and look good.

Objective complete.
I walked over and went in the store and she saw me. She looked sad. I handed her the clicker using the excuse that I didn't want anyone to see me open her car door and put something in it. She said "thank you" and then I ordered a de-caf coffee. This threw her, as I never..NEVER order a de-caf. She gave her employee number to the cashier so my coffee was free and I mdae it a point to thank her for that.
She couldn't take a break, but while the coffee was being prepared, she asked if I had ate anything for dinner. I said "a bananna" and she laughed a little.
She went back to what she was doing and then stopped...looked at me in the eyes and held the gaze for 5 or 6 seconds. I looked back and smiled at her. She gave a weak smile and then all of the suddent looked really sad.
I said goodnight and that I will see her in the morning when I wake up. She said "see you in the morning.".

Overall, I think it was a success. I walked 3/4 of a mile one way just to bring her the little gate remote, and it is something she doesn't need to enter our complex. All she would have to do is go to the keypad and punch in the gate code...but, I thought it would be a nice little gesture if I brought it to her.

Yep! Good Job!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You just meeting those EN's. and be the best "Dog" possible.

This thing ain't nearly over yet.

Maybe next time she'll fix you something to eat too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Oh, and as I exited the store, I looked back and she was nowhere to be seen, which means she disappeared in to the back storage room. When I was talking with her, she had just started to work on cleaning some of the display cases and she had all the stuff she needed for that. Hmmm...

I'm thinking of leaving her a little note tonight thanking her again for the coffee. Anything else I might add to it?

yadungood!

Conflict is having an affect on her.

Just stay on the path and work the Plan.

Be sure next week to TM and call when you have an opportuniy, just checking on you day etc.

Maybe send her something via a special delivery at work. Just not too gushy.

Oh yeah Cats!?

you know the drill <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Later

She will more than likely move out tomorrow.
My plan is to stay silent through the weekend (if she calls, that is one thing) and then when I get to my destination on Monday, to give her a little text message letting her know I arrived safely and am thinking of her and hope she is having a good day.

doing good Dog. This is weighing on her.

To me this is troubling that she took money from him. It shows desperation. Because my stepfather molested me when I was growing up and I would have rather set myself on fire than to take anything from him.

Have you told her point blank that even if her affair with OM was physical you still believe you can make your marriage work??? And that you would forgive her?? Because she seems so conflicted.

It has been almost a week since NC. And yes, she does seem very conflicted right now. I have told her a couple of times that I believe the marriage can work and that I forgive her with getting in involved with the OM. She then goes on the defensive and starts telling me that nothing was going on.

She is desperate to get out so she can show the OM that she is serious about leaving me. But, I can see it in her eyes that she is starting to think twice about everything. She was home all day yesterday while I was at the office and I thought I would come home to an apartment packed with her stuff in the containers she bought. Nothing was done with the exception of her moving her box of Corningware to another wall.

While snooping around, I found a practice "speech" she wrote out to the OM. She wrote something to the effect of, "I don't know if I am crossing the line, but I will be moving out by Friday, etc...." (That's all I can remember).

I will make it a point today to say again that I want our marriage to work, she is always welcome to come back and then I will offer to help her move.

Df,

Just remember as I told you she is going to try to initiate contact. She still believes if she can prove to him that she is done with you that he will then resume with her. That is still what she has her mind set on.

The problem for now is that you have not played the game by her rules. You have gotten in the way of her fantasy and now she is in a lot of turmoil over the whole thing. That's Good! Keep being the best darn "Dog" you can be. Be attractive and upbeat in time I think you will lead her back home to you. Just stay on the Plan. I really think it is having an affect.

NC will be the key!!!!!!

Did you ever get hold of Step Father? I still think he needs to hear your side of this.

Didn't get ahold of the step father yet. I will try again later today. I don't think I am going to be able to, but I will try.

I lined up a spy to check on her while I am away.
She is very tired right now and not feeling well. Still not packing, and today is supposed to be the move out day.

Gotta go to work. Be back on in a few hours.

Hmmmm. About not packing yet. Interesting.

Maybe not in as big a hurry as she thought.

But then maybe she will get stoked and start later.


Yep! I would just keep things under survelance.

Posted this to you on January 22...



You continue to create huge amounts of conflict with her. How can she move out from someone who has been so loving and caring? How can she admit the affair was wrong? How can she let her new "soulmate" (gag) go? Oh my, oh my, what should I do?

Beautiful! Conflict is a wonderful thing, when you able to create it in a WS's mind, by doing positive things.

This is the crux of Harley's Plan A.

Be prepared for her staying, be prepared for her leaving, and make the most out of whichever happens. Do not let her leaving get you down.

SD

Either way, I will remain upbeat. Right now, she is gone. My assumption is to get the keys to the news place.
This is fine that she is gone at the moment...I now have her cold and it is kicking my butt. I have no energy right now.

One thing I did notice while checking "stuff".
She changed her passwords on two of her accounts from the OM's last name to something different and totally random.
I find that interesting.

Actually, it now looks like she is trying to avoid me.
Hmmm...all of her work stuff is gone, and she doesn't have to be at work for another two hours.
She didn't take any of her stuff from the apartment.
She said she wanted to discuss what she was going to take from the apartment and maybe work on the division of assets. I didn't really respond to that. I did tell her what time I was going to be home, and she is gone.

I also noticed, she is not using her body wash stuff she bought at the begining of the month, just using regular old soap. (see, I always notice stupid details like this). No makeup or perfume, either. Wonder what's up?

Don't worry, I'm going to go crazy thinking and analyzing this...well, maybe a little, but I will keep it in check.