Don't overdo it too much when she gets home. She is going to be pissed that you ruined it for her with the OM. I'd just stay out of her way.

Remember just work the Plan and act decisively, don't react.

Plan A is not about her or OM it's all about being a better you.


When you do that you become more attractive to her. Dig It?

Showing my generation with that one. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Actually, not going to do the card tonight because she knows that I spoke with the OM last night. She is going to be super ticked off. I think I will go to bed early tonight.

She might wait until you're gone to move stuff out of the apartment.

Probably last post for awhile. She found the site and read everything and knows all about the snooping and stuff. She yelled at me for a good long time, but it didn't sound foggy to me. Called me fake because I have been nice to her for the past month, It's all over, etc...
Really, all I am trying to do is be a better person and be better towards her. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

The OM came down and we all three had a talk. He said he is going to pull himself out of the whole thing. But, she is up there right now. I don't know. Feeling down. I think I have lost her for good.

I don't hear a fatlady singing...you've taken all the shots so far...this is just another round. Perhaps the fog will have cleared some in the 3 way conversation. It's not over till you give up...

SD

Dog,

You have got to calm down! So she found ou tabout this sight.

All you have done is try to be a better person and be more attractive to her.
That's all good.

All We have given you is solid information about how to work through this.

This is again mor fog speak. She will calm down again if given the chance.

The OM has to go away. What is his problem now?

Why did you have him there?

Right now, she doesn't view it that way. She views this as a plan against her. She is filling out the paperwork right now.

This sucks. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

DF, go up there and knock on the door until your W comes home. Who cares if she read your thread? It changes nothing. Just stick to your plan and stop fretting. You will be just fine!

Why is OM with her?

filling out paperwork means nothing. It is just filling out paperwork. Talk is cheap with a WS, DF, talk is cheap.

Oh, he came by because it looks like she invited him over so all three of us could talk. We all talked for about 30 minutes or so.

Now is the time to ManUp as they say. Go fight for her. Not physically, but go bring her home.

I don't know anymore. I asked if he planned to continue contact and he said he was going to pull himself away. He explained that even though it is what I want, he is not doing it for that reason. He is doing it because it is the right thing to do. He apologized to my W and said that is how it has to be (paraphrasing).

Tell him to butt out of your M!!!!!!!!!

So you could talk about what???

You darn tootin' it's the right thing to do!!!!

So why hasn't he done it? What's he waiting on?

Is she home yet?

She was only up there for a few minutes.
I showed her HNHN.
She told me just a few minutes ago in a very calm, controlled voice that it is over, she doesn't want to work on the M, she wants a D, she wants me out of the apt (I said no) that she wants to live here and asked how I would be able to afford it with alimony payments, etc...

DF... you sat down and had a conversation with the OM and your W for thirty minutes. What in God's name are you thinking? You have told him numerous times to have NC with your W. The moment he attempted contact again, you should have made another call to his father... I think that is what got through to him last time.
And while I do not advocate violence... I would sooner beat him with a bat for thirty minutes than to sit there and talk about this stuff. Dude... you really need to man up. I am NOT suggesting that you confront him physically... but you really need to set some boundaries that are unbendable! I am just so surprised at your actions at times. Your wife is horrible... but she is following the script that all ww's do. You need to stick to a plan... one way or another... but that would NEVER include you discussing your relationship with the OM. You have already involved this wolf too much in your lives and need to end that now. If your ww is leaving... then get out of that apartment building. I think you truly must have misunderstood SH when you spoke with him about not moving because even though it would give her a place to come home to, it would be right there next to the OM... and remember the Harley's advocate NC as rule #1. Get out of that building the moment she leaves and NEVER allow it to be an option to return to that apartment.
Call his father.
Call the police.... even if they can't do anything... most cops will have a talk with him.
You said your state allows for alienation of affection lawsuits... file the paperwork and have a lawyer send him a letter.
Move immediately following her move... if she objects, do it anyway as NC will NEVER exist in your current situation.
And really... DF... details about what was actually discussed for thirty minutes would be helpful.

So, now she is not moving. So, you have a choice... stay and fight... or leave and give up. I know you wnat to fight... so come up with a plan.
Lawsuit.
Don't discuss divorce with her at all. It is not your job.
Call his father again.
Police.
Neighbors.
Landlord again and every day until you get results.
Be a friggin pest to everyone until you get some allies in this war.