Df,
you have mail.

Dog wrote:

"She was only up there for a few minutes.
I showed her HNHN.
She told me just a few minutes ago in a very calm, controlled voice that it is over, she doesn't want to work on the M, she wants a D, she wants me out of the apt (I said no) that she wants to live here and asked how I would be able to afford it with alimony payments, etc... "

Ah yes the "it's over speach". I got that one about 3 months after my dday. Hurt bad too then I came on here to my thread and was told to let it blow over. All fog fog fog...

Mrs Dog, if you are here reading this we are only tying to help you and your husband out. Most everyone here wants marriages to work, not end. Why would all of us spend this kinda time? We have been where you and your husband are and we want to help. Your marriage can/will get much better please trust us. Start your own thread - you won't get kicked around if you ask for help.

DF you are not alone, but i know the feeling...

Plug the holes, turn on the pumps... Don't give up the ship!!! I can't give any advice I am in the S*&^ myself, but I can tell you you are NOT ALONE!

J

Df,

How you doin' this morning?

Mrs. Dogfood,

Mr. Dogfood is here because he loves you so much that he is trying to save his marriage even though you want to end it. I can tell you most of us have been there and recovered. My wife told me in October that she wanted a divorce (and I found out she was having an affair), but I came here, followed the advice of the posters here, and we are recovering (hopefully). Your husband obviously loves you greatly because he is willing to fight for you even after all you are putting him through. You made a commitment to be with him till death do you part. Well, guess what, there come times in every marriage where it sucks for a while, but most of the people here that have hit rock bottom have learned how to make their marriage happier than ever. Are you going to bounce around from relationship to relationship once the initial high wears off, or are you going to stick it out and figure out how to be happier than ever? The choice is yours.

Dawg... these affairs don't end easily. We warned you straight up about keeping the OM in the loop. We told you not to do it. You did not heed our advice. The OM is irrevelant right now, and should be treated that way. Continuing to allow him a place in your marriage is against common sense, and against Harley's principals.

Contact threw your WW completely back into the fog. We all knew that would happen. So did you. What's the difference between today and the past couple of weeks? You are listening to the Fog Talk, and not to your inner strength.

Breathe...calm down...beleive in yourself.

This is just another series of ups/downs on the coaster.

Instead of contribiuting to the drama, isolate yourself from it. Stay with your mantra...I don't do divorce, I only do marriage. You have come so far, and grown plenty. There is more work to be done, and no one to do it but you.

You are not alone. Many of us went through very similar trials before it was "time". Your time has not come, just yet.

Gather yourself and prepare for the rest of the battle...

SD

DF,

At this juncture all I can say is that I'll pray for you...

Hang tough!

Mark

First let me start by introducing myself. I’m the immature 19-year-old bipolar roommate that was aforementioned, aka “The Enemy.”
This website came to my attention last night, and in the time since then I have read all the posts in this thread. During all this, a question came to mind…
Do you people ever stop and think about what you are saying?
You know absolutely nothing about the situation going on between “Dog” and “Mrs. Dog.” What if he was abusing her, and you were sitting here telling him how to make her stay with him? Did you ever think of that? Did you ever stop to think that there might be a real, legitimate reason that she wants to leave him? Not just because she’s “wayward” or she’s confused. They have been together for 7 years, I don’t think she’s going to make this decision on a whim. Furthermore, her choice to leave him and end the marriage also doesn’t have anything to do with the “OM.” I will address that, however, in a moment.
The second thing I would like you to think about is the way you are going about trying to help “Dog” and the type of advice you are giving him. Did anyone notice that not ONCE in almost 300 posts (and believe me, I read every single one) did “Dog” say that he loved his wife, missed her, was sorry for everything, wanted to change, wanted to understand her, wanted to become a better husband, couldn’t imagine life without her, etc?
Let me give you a hint…
No.
The advice you are giving him is that he should ignore everything she tries to tell him (it’s all “Fog Talk” anyway...) and manipulate her, her friends, and her financial situation so as to make it impossible for her to leave. What kind of marriage counseling advice is that? To make a relationship work both people have to open up and listen to each other. They have to make sacrifices in order to please their partner, not because it’s the only way to make them stay, but because they WANT to see their lover happy. They have to do more than just smile and nod, which is what you are telling “Dog” to do, and what he has been doing. She sees right though that. Women aren’t stupid, we know when men aren’t listening.
The advice you are giving “Dog” sounds like he is dealing with a 2 year old child, not his wife, his partner, his EQUAL. “Mrs. Dog” is not a child to be handled, and taught a lesson to. She is a real woman, with real feelings, and real emotions. Take a look at the situation. She obviously knows how hard this divorce is going to be (and rest assured, it is happening), both financially and emotionally (she is also capable of feeling, go figure…). If she is willing to take on this financial situation, one that will not be comfortable for a long time, then she must really want to get out. Meaning there is something going on that “Dog” isn’t admitting.
These are the things I want you to think about before you give him any more of your heartfelt advice. Boys, wives are not property. They are your equals and should be treated as such.
And now to the subject of the “OM.” He is not the reason she is leaving. You can think that until you are blue in the face, but this is what I KNOW. If anything, the “OM” is a catalyst. Ever since I met “Mrs. Dog” I have seen how unhappy their marriage is. She is one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, and I couldn’t imagine her being married to anyone less than that. Because no other man could deserve such an amazing person.
And then I met “Dog…”
The only thing the “OM” did was show her that she can be happy outside of this life she is living. Whether they work out or not isn’t the issue. He showed her happiness and friendship, and those are the things that gave her the courage to take control of her own life.
Neither I, nor “Mrs. Dog” will be making any additional posts, so please don’t ask anymore. If you need more drama in your lives, I suggest a soap opera.
If I were you, I also wouldn’t bother even giving “Dog” any more advice. She IS leaving him. There is no question. This has gone way too far, and the posts on this website have only shown her that she can never have respect for “Dog” again.

Happy Posting!

You sound really mature....and seem to have all the bases covered....are you interested in a 42 year old married man? You sound so bright I think that you might be wiser than my own spouse, Thank you for showing me the light...PM me your phone number cause I am on my way!!! I'm leaving my wife!!!






Sound absurd???? It really isn't any more absurd than your post...stay out of this child....you haven't a clue as to what you're pontifcating about...and bring nothing but crap to the table...


cuddles...... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />


Oh yeah...you may not post but I am sure you're reading...you have to read your own BS don't you???

Just one more that will be proven wrong one day.

Don't let it get you down too much Dog, she doesn't know what she is talking about.

If anything Dog you know where we all stand now with the money issues.

"Boys, wives are not property. They are your equals and should be treated as such."

Sure this why it's ok to have an A b/c wives should be treated as equals. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> OOOO K

Don't give me the crap about Mrs Dog might be being abused, but she is a smart and strong woman and knows when to get out. CAN'T BE BOTH!!

Now she said she won't be posting anymore, but I wonder if the other roommate will? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I have no problem with Mrs Dog seeing the OM and staying out all night. The problem is, she needed to be honorable about it, and divorce dog.

You are young at 19 and I hope you will learn that one thing from your short time on MB. Don't use marriage as a chance to line up dates. When you realize the marriage is over, have the decency to divorce.

Mrs. Dog,

You have an opportunity to say what is on your mind. have felt all along that we only know Dog's side of the story. Maybe if we had both versions we could offer some incite as to how this could be made to work. That could only happen if you were tp be willing to speak openly and then aosl be willing to accept honest opinion and advice. I have written you my own heartfelt letter. I know how upset and angry you are and how you feel you have been mistreated not just by Dog but by those of us who have posted advice to him.

I have offered you the opportunity to get an honest and unbiased opinion as to how I see your sitch and the options you may have. You need to realize that D is not the only or necessarily the best option available to you. You owe it to yourself to look at them and make good judgements based on sound advice not on anger and resentment.

I leave it to you to ponder this and I am available as I told you before to be an honest sounding board for you. I don't expect that you will take me up on it but it's there if you wish. email me @ Justkeepgoin47@aol.com

young, dumb and obviously clueless! Df's WW is the best person she ever met... she is a liar and a cheat... hmmm... enemy... sounds like you need to meet a better class of people! Grow up child.

oh, and if you read every single post princess... you would note that there are almost 900 posts... not the 300 you mentioned. Perhaps when you grow up you will learn to count too!

DF, you married a child whose friend is barely out of high school... and that is who comes here to defend her. DF... I know you don't want to hear this... but unless your wife seriously changes everything about her life... you are better off getting divorced. She has a lousy family of origin....enabling friends and is wayward. It doesn't get any worse than that. Count your blessings that you never had kids with this woman and move on. Don't give her a dime and make her fight for any money she thinks she is due. I'm sorry... but I just don;t see any other way at this point.... if your WW is so much of a coward that she has to send a child here to defend her, she isn't worth this effort.
I would suggest a book for you called Obsessive Love by Susan Forward. All I can say is good luck and try and imagine a much better life without the stress created by your WW and her troublesome circle of trouble.

*deleted* ...read the other post wrong...my bad...

Food:

How you doing?

Mrs Food:

How you doing?

-ol' 2long

SD... this post was from her friend ... not the OM and it is from a woman.

I think he knows that......he is saying it to OM whom he believes wrote it....

Whatever it is...Dog i sbetter off without her....

Remeber, we know how it all goes in the long run....

Doing fine, 2long. A lot to think about right now.