TE, Thank you for talking with Mrs. Dog.

I can understand how she feels in regards to my changes being permanent (sp?). That is why I wish to work on myself as best as I can. I need to become a better person in order to be a better husband to Mrs. Dog.

The whole events of the past month have been very eye opening for me. It made me realize I have some serious issues I need to work on, and am working on.

Overnight transformations. Sometimes they come with a moment of clarity and then fade. I do not intend to let this fade. I will continue to work on myself. I never want to be the person I was to Mrs. Dog, or to anyone. Like I said, not all of our time together was bad, but the bad that existed...was...well...bad.

TE, my wife is going through a lot right now. You know that. I am worried for her. Please keep an eye on her for me.

TE,

You now are a true friend. From what I read last night I think you now see what we have been trying to do for Mr. and Mrs. Dog. I know first hand from Dog how much he loves Mrs D. and how he wants to do what is right. He has been making great strides in making the changes in his life that will make him a much better H to Mrs. D.

You are obviously are a very intelligent and astute person to be able in just the course of a couple of days to go from totally defending Mrs. D in her decisions to leave Dog to now seeing that it may not being her best interests to do that.

I do commend you for being a true and loyal friend. Just remember a true friend is one who will let the freind know when they are making bad decisions as well as supporting them when things are tough. I am sorry you have been thrust into the middle of this. This is truely a difficult place to be. I know if you keep reading here and stay observant you will begin to see what is truely in Mrs. Dogs best interests as we posting to you do.

Just remember Mrs. Dog loved Dog enough to make a commitment before God for better or worse. This is some of the worse they talked about. It can be weathered if given a chance. You can help her see that option.

Just a thought You might be aware that Mrs. D may very well respond negatively to you not agreeing with her choices. Just be prepared and still be her friend because she needs you to be there right now.

Hey JKG, can you sum up TE's last post? I didn't get a chance to read it before she deleted it.

~ Marsh

Dawg, from what I gather, the OM is out of the picture, regardless of all else that's transpired here. That said, if WW's (maybe/maybe not) roomate to be, AKA, T_E, has read your posts and committment to save this marriage, you have two good things going for you.

The NC will allow your WW to slowly emerge from the fog. This latest chain of events could very well be a godsend, in a peculiar sort of way.

Listen, I don't know of any BS who didn't have some personal issues to deal with as part of Plan A. Lord knows I did. Those who come squarely to terms with their own issues and are honestly introspective, and actively making the necessary changes are the people who have the best chance at successfuly recovery.

I think you are still on the right path here, and should stay the course.

SD

DF-

Not sure what really should change as a result of your WW reading here.

Have you asked her WHY she's so angry about your posting here? Why this is what convinces her to end the marriage? And then ask her why she'd be upset that you reached out for advice and help to save your marriage???

After all, it's not like any of the people here know her. None of us know either of you, couldn't pick you out of a line up in any way.

So you're asking advice and help from a group of people who have been in your shoes...and you're consulting resources of a PROFESSIONAL in marriage recovery. She has no ground to stand on with being upset about that. Nor does T_E either...if she stops to think about it.

Nothing has changed in your situation for real...this hasn't changed the dynamics of the situation.

Let your wife know that you're sorry she feels hurt/angry/whatever about you coming here for support, but there's no reason for that, and you're not going to change that. You don't regret coming here for support...it's taught you a LOT about your situation, and given you a plan to help you work you marriage to recovery.

Keep your chin above water and keep moving on man. Keep up what you're doing.

And to Mrs DF, if you're there...
Read the information on this site...if you feel this forum is full of whacko's (which it is, but that doesn't negate the value of the advice given! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ), just read the information about infidelity, the love bank, emotional needs, etc...

And see how much truly does apply in your situation. Start your own thread on here, if you feel your side isn't being heard. Give it some thought.

Hm. Lemme see. I feel privileged. I read the_enemy's post last night. It was nice, especially compared to the first one. Almost too good to be true, though what would be the point of that?

Okay dog,

Given: you are on the spot to demonstrate that you acknowledge your faults and can shake your bad habits.

But don't frame this situation as bad dog, good cat lady.

Dismiss accusations of manipulation, insincerity, or inauthenticity. Don't bother debating sweeping "people don't change" statements.

Just do what you're going to do. You have bad habits. You're going to break them.

You are not desperate and eager to please. You are not seeking opportunities to show your value. You don't need them.

You're just doing your part. You're making the good dog a better dog.

Your W can take it or leave it.

Since she prefers right now to treat you disgracefully and behave dishonorably, she might choose to leave it.

If she does it's her loss. She'll live to regret it. She probably already regrets the things she's done, in a way, but doesn't see a way back and doesn't feel like going that way.

Build a better dog. It'll help her see a way back.

But it'll only help a little. She's an addict and thinks she is not and there's no convincing her otherwise. So she might still turn away for good.

If she does it will hurt you for a long time.

Probably it will hurt her more, and for a longer time.

GC

I don't know what to say anymore. I am on my way to Kansas for my trip and will be back home Wednesday afternoon.
My W didn't come home last night, but she did at least send me a text message saying that she would not be home. Don't know where she stayed.
My morning flight was cancelled, so I was able to come home for awhile. She seemed down, I don;t know. We chatted a little bit and then she layed down for a nap as I was leaving. I told her I will see her Wednesday afternoon when I get home. She said, "ok".

I've never seen MB explained more concisely. Simply brilliant.

DF,

You are doing good. I see a lot of hope for your situation. Keep working on yourself. If there is continued contact get with a lawyer and send him a warning that he may be sued for AOA if he continues contact. Most OM will say anything to smooth it over with the WH even if they are the one pursuing.

Dawg,where in Kansas are you headed? I'm a native, and have been here all my life.

sd:

It's horizontal, isn't it? Wouldn't you be able 2 see him, at least with optical aid? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

Marsh,
I will if you email me @ Justkeepgoin47@aol.com

2long,

All I need is a vertical aid. Perhaps a water tower or cell (yes we have them) tower would work just fine. Further west I could just stand on the hood of my truck.

Smart a$$ <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I am in Olathe for the next day and morning. Finally got here after many delays...including a stop at the nearby Waffle House...Haven't eaten there in 4 years. Mmmmm...

Were you aware that a scientific study conducted about two years ago proved that, accounting for scale, Kansas really is flatter than a pancake? This was based on USGS maps of Kansas as compared to electron micrographs of pancakes. And I thought I had too much free time.

Ahhhhhh.... the Waffle House at i-35 and Kansas Highway 7...been there done that, got the heartburn. Actually, I love the Waffle House...that puts you about an hour fifteen from where I'm at.

You doing ok?

Hiroo...was that an IHOP or Waffle House pancake in that study? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> And did you know the only time you have to lock your car in Kansas is when the zuccini squash are coming on the vines? It's to keep people from sharing their "over production" with you.

Really? You don't lock your car in Wyandotte County? There is a reason that one of the locations for the A&E show "The First 48" (a documentary of the first 48 hours of a murder investigation) is Kansas City, KS. You know, Kansas is not the flattest state. Can you tell me what is?

"Kansas is not the flattest state. Can you tell me what is?"

FL?

Mmmm...Waffle House...scattered, smothered, and chunked, baby!

I've got tons of relatives in Clay, Geary, and Riley counties. There are reunions in Junction City and Clay Center, but I never had the opportunity to go.

Yeah, I bet it's FL.

They're also the only water-soluble state in the Union!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long