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Dogfood,

I recommend that you start your own thread.

Eh, it doesn't matter. I cannot post here anymore anyway.

You can still post here. Just post things you wouldn't mind your W reading.

In fact, post things you'd like your W 2 read.

Think about it. She's not your enemy, after all.

-ol' 2long

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How 'bout pinching this off between us for once and all, FH?


Agreed.

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DF,

I was going to send you an email but I don't see an address in your profile.

My bad, I thought I had it on there. If it still doesn't show up, just send it on over to goverticl@aol.com


BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07

"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 541
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Dogfood,

I recommend that you start your own thread.

Eh, it doesn't matter. I cannot post here anymore anyway.

You can still post here. Just post things you wouldn't mind your W reading.

In fact, post things you'd like your W 2 read.

Think about it. She's not your enemy, after all.

-ol' 2long

I know she is not my enemy. But, it seems like right now she views me as hers. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Ever since she came to site and saw what I wrote, it has been bad. Earlier that week, I felt us growing a little closer. I saw my wife peek through the fog, more than once. I had hope. But now, she doesn't trust me at all and holds me at arms length. She doesn't even talk about work with me anymore.


BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07

"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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Posts: 4,222
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It will blow over. Just be patient. Keep trying to get her to talk.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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It will blow over. Just be patient. Keep trying to get her to talk.

I am trying. This morning is really hard for me.

She avoids me as much as she can. I try to get her to talk, but it is met with resistance. Every now and then, it happens. The other day she asked about my trip to Kansas, etc...but since then she is pretty quiet or just gone.


BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07

"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222
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She avoids me as much as she can. I try to get her to talk, but it is met with resistance. Every now and then, it happens. The other day she asked about my trip to Kansas, etc...but since then she is pretty quiet or just gone.

Withdrawal from OM, maybe? You are still living together aren't you? Keep a positive outlook.

My WW wouldn't talk to me for the first week after she ended it with OM. Maybe she has come to the realization that there is going to be no her and OM, and now she's stewing inside.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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She avoids me as much as she can. I try to get her to talk, but it is met with resistance. Every now and then, it happens. The other day she asked about my trip to Kansas, etc...but since then she is pretty quiet or just gone.

Withdrawal from OM, maybe? You are still living together aren't you? Keep a positive outlook.

My WW wouldn't talk to me for the first week after she ended it with OM. Maybe she has come to the realization that there is going to be no her and OM, and now she's stewing inside.

Deleted by DF

Last edited by Dogfood; 02/03/07 12:35 PM.

BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07

"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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well. obviously something happened to make you aware of a PA... trust me... it most likely has been going on all along. Is it the same OM? Have you contacted his dad again?

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It will blow over. Just be patient. Keep trying to get her to talk.

I am trying. This morning is really hard for me.

She avoids me as much as she can. I try to get her to talk, but it is met with resistance. Every now and then, it happens. The other day she asked about my trip to Kansas, etc...but since then she is pretty quiet or just gone.

Then begin at the very beginning.

*Engage her when she'll let you

*Listen 2 her when she needs you 2.

*Help her with simple things when you can.

*Stay positive - and by this (for both your benefit and hers, since I assume she's reading), I mean steer 2ward the positive when faced with choices of where 2 take conversations. This isn't "pretending", either. It's not faking it. Because, nearly every circumstance can be looked at positively (with a constructive solution being the focus, if it's a problem that needs solving), or negatively (because that's just very easy 2 do!). And so why not choose 2 respond rather than react?

Take it easy. Both of you.

-ol' 2long

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Thanks 2long,


Last edited by Dogfood; 02/03/07 12:35 PM.

BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07

"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 541
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This morning, after my wife woke up, I got a call that my grandmother passed away. It hit me kinda hard. My wife and I talked about it for about 20 minutes and then she hugged me.


BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07

"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother.

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Just a quick update for everyone. I am doing ok.


BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07

"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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[[[[[Dogfood]]]]]

Hugs.

God bless.

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Food:

So, what's happening?

Is T_E still reading here?

Mrs Food:

Are you reading here? Care 2 tell us your story?

We'd like 2 help everyone, if we can.

-ol' 2long

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'ol 2 long (and anyone else), email me.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 541
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Food:

So, what's happening?

Is T_E still reading here?

Mrs Food:

Are you reading here? Care 2 tell us your story?

We'd like 2 help everyone, if we can.

-ol' 2long

2long,

It doesn't appear that T_E reads here any more. I think she had that one talk with my wife and then decided she didn't want to lose a friend, so she is standing on the sidelines while my W heads for a crash.

To my wife, if you are reading this, I do love you and I forgive you.


BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07

"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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Posts: 4,178
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DF... with all due respect I think it is too soon for you to forgive her. Only because I don't think she's finished hurting you yet and she may view a declaration of forgiveness as a get out of jail free card.

Please trust me on this. I know what I'm talking about.

GC

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Well,
she filed and I was served. The "facts in support" is an interesting read.


BS - 36 (me)
WS - 25
D-Day - 01/08/07(EA), 02/02/07 (PA)
Divorce Final - 09/14/07

"It's only the fairy tale they believe"
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