About like you dog, she moved out 10 days ago and wants a "D". Things have been tense as of latly...

She stopped by today to talk about am amacable settlement...
Was diffrent... she came in and gave me a kiss, we went through some stuff, and sorted for goodwill and what would stay and what would go... She removed more of her stuff but still "forgot some too...

we talked about the D, She didn't seem as much in a rush she said she thought we needed to be seprated for like 6 months before we file... she said look into in the next couple weeks and let her know... It seemd she didn't have the urgency she has had in the past...

We talked alot very calmly. she admitted she was comfortable in the house for the first time in some time... no tension i could feel at all..

I sat her down briefly and said if i needed to let her go so she could be happy i would, but that i also thought we could make better then ever if we decided to... I told her I never want to make another selfish demand, disrespectful judgement, ...again, and if i slip up she is to immeadatly let me know so I could make amends and appoligize... She actually seemed to listen.

Later she looked at my myspace page and kissed me again and gave me the "Look" (the good one where the eyes twinkle) I havn't seen that in some time...

I must have been kissed a dozen times today it almost seemed she was out of the fog...

I took her for a ride in my new car and then let her drive it, she really said it was nice...

So heck I don't know now... she said she will see me tuesday at MC...

So you tell me...

So if there is hope for your marriage why are you separated?

I don't wnat to hi-jack dogs thread... I will cross post it to my thread...

Well, I had kind of a crappy Saturday....literally.

One of our cats got sick, and they still don't know what it is wrong. I was at work and my wife came by the apartment during that time. I get a phone call from her and she asks if I think the cat is sick. I said yup. The little kitty left behind a huge mess all over the apartment. Man, did it smell.

She ended up taking the cat to the vet and spending most of the day and night there while they ran tests on Chloe (the cat).

The bill was growing and my wife was concerned about how it was going to be paid. I told her I would take care of it. In the past, I use to always grumble and complain about large sums of money being spent.

I point this out to illistrate the changes in me. She brought up that if this starts getting too expensive, that maybe we should think of putting her down. She brought this up because I am sure she was concerned with me and my attitudes towards spending a lot.

I told her that (or something along these lines) "Chloe is our little girl. I will do what it takes to make her better. If this is something that will effect her quality of life down the road, then we will have that discussion".
I meant every word.
She seemed relieved when I told her that.

The bill ended up being just under a thousand bucks. I didn't balk and it didn't phase me. Yay for me!

I like the new me.


The apartment was a mess, too. My wife didn't have time to clean it up because she had to rush the cat to the vet. A decision I supported. Not that the piles of cat crap were going to run off or something.
So, when i got home I put on some music and spent about 45 minutes cleaning up the floor. Made sure I got up all the stuff and now you can't even tell where the multiple messes were!

The cat is doing ok right now. She is being given antibiotics twice a day and some de-wormer stuff once a day.

Just a bump so the newbies can find it...

EXCELLENT..
Women love and respect men who respond like this when there is a "crisis" in the house. "I'll handle it is a perfect response and shows emotional strength. (which is also attractive to women.)





PERFECT AGAIN...

Keep this up. This shows softness and strength at the same time. Softness... meaning that you were "sensitive" to HER feelings (not your feelings) and strength in that you again showed her that "you would handle it" during a time when she was in crisis. This is a very valuable tool for you to use again and again. "Don't worry honey, I'll handle it" can be used again and again and again. No matter the crisis in her life or in YOUR life.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Just to add...

Next time or if she says to you anything about not loving you or divorce or__________ (fill in the blank) anything negative about you or your relationship, do not forget the "I'll handle it" routine...

Her: "I think we should seperate"

You: Well, this isn't what I want, but maybe you are right, maybe we should seperate. If that's what you want to do, the "I'll handle it. Let me know."

Then just shut up and go HAPPILY about your business...
You may find her suddenly NOT so sure about negatives in your relationship.

Works like a charm. Stops their momentum to leave.....
(which works in your favor) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />


Works like a charm

Yes, YAY For You!!

My formerly wayward husband has used the same tactics with me during recovery, "I'll handle it." He turned it all around and has become a man I respect immensely.

Ouch!



LMAO!!!



They say men who go through "MB training" get snapped up like hot cakes when they get tired of waiting for their WW's to pull their head's out of their arses.

~ Marsh

A thousand bucks to treat a cat? I don't know how your W reacted, but that was quite a deposit in your Veterinarian's Love Bank, not to mention, his Money Bank.

If things don't work out with your W, I'd say you have a pretty good chance at a relationship with the vet! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Anyway, seriously, sorry to hear about the cat. I have a 14 yo neutered Tom who's lived outside all it's life, and it just got a upper resperatory infection. I always said I'd never spend a dime on it, and today, we are forcing medicine the vet prescribed down it's throat twice a day. It may end up a "housecat" during it's "golden years" Go figure? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

We feed, care for, water, love and pay attention to dogs...and they think we are God. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />


We feed, care for, water, love and pay attention to cats... and they think THEY are God! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Gotta love em, or not.
SD

I dunno, SD...

Cats are REALLY smart!


...they know when it's your birthday!

-ol' 2long

Whatcha mean they THINK they are gods?? 4000 years ago, the Egyptians told cats they WERE gods and cats never forgot that ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Now you know how the other pyramids got buried. Cats thought it was a litter box.

You know it's funny that your guys are debating cats and dogs on DOGs thread!!! LOL

Giving that I think Dogs win out - don't they?

****Glad to see you still around Dog.****

He himself said he would be devastated if the cats left !!!!!!

I told my wife that if we ever split, she can have everything EXCEPT for Pedro, our cutie pie tomcat. She responded that if I really like to play hardball on that issue she would sell everything and spend the proceeds on a lawyer to get Pedro back....probably just for spite.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I wouldn't classify this as a tactic. What I classify it being, is the new me.

The past couple of months, I have done a lot...A LOT of soul searching. I realized I had become someone who I didn't like. That needed to change...and it is. The change is continuing, but I am liking the results more and more each day.

I still have a ways to go, but it is coming together.

LOL...it is truly an experience trying to squirt that anti-biotic down the cat's throat. I have never seen a cat squirm so much. I wrap her up in a towel, and that seems to help.

That is true! We have a sign by the front door that says "What part of meow do you not understand?"
The cats take that to heart.

They rule the house and they don't let you forget it.
I do love those little guys. They are part of my family.

Hey, Dog,

you need a sign that says "This House protected by attack cat !!!!"

One of our neighbor's daughters fell on top of her kitten and broke it's leg. $1200 and VERY irate husband later, the kitty now has a metal plate in her hind leg and jumps better that a cat with no injuries....Pedro set us back about $800 (excluding the "well kitty" charges and having him neutered) in the first year that we had him. He is now 2 and darling kitty... I am making a sign with your slogan on it....

A long time ago, one of our cats was climbing the shower curtain. He wasn't very old at the time. Just a few months old. He fell, his claws dug into the shower curtain and snapped his leg in two. He also smashed his face into the bathtub.

We rushed him to the vet and $1200 later we had a cat with the pin in it's leg. He was there a couple of days, and I still remember when we went to pick him up.
The vet tech brought him out and put him on the table. He saw me and my wife and let out with a meow and the BIGGEST purr I have ever heard a cat do, even to this day. That alone made it worth it. It still brings tears to my eyes when I think about it.