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I'm really, no....REALLY GLAD you finished that ...before I finished my call to the men in the white coats with the padded van to come pick you up! I've been wondering wtf all afternoon! LMAO!
A very traditional elderly woman was enjoying a good game of cards with her girlfriends one evening. "Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He's going to really annoyed if it's not ready on time!" she exclaimed suddenly.
When she got home, she realised that she didn't have enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she had in the cupboard was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg, and garnished it with the lettuce leaf just as her husband pulled up.
She greeted her husband and then watched in horror as he sat down to his dinner. To her surprise, the husband really enjoyed his dinner. "Darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in forty years of marriage. You can make this for me anytime."
Needless to say, from then on every night-out with her girlfriends, the woman made her husband the same meal. She eventually couldn't resist telling her girlfriends about it and they were all horrified. "You're going to kill him!" they exclaimed. But she couldn't see how.
Two months later, her husband died. The women were sitting around the table playing cards when one of her friends said, "You killed him! We told you that feeding him that cat food every week would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly and play cards knowing you murdered your own husband?"
The wife quietly replied, "I didn't kill him. He fell off the mantel while he was licking his a$$.!
SD
Last edited by shattered dreams; 02/20/0706:36 PM.
The Origin of Pets Where do pets come from? It is reported that the following edition of the Book of Genesis was discovered in the Dead Seal Scrolls. If authentic, it would shed light on the question, "Where do pets come from?"
And Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will bewith you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "But Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and all the good names are taken and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."
And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."
And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but no one has taught him humility."
And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not worthy of adoration."
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey Adam.
And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility.
And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved. And Dog wagged his tail.
And Cat did not care one way or the other.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW) D-Day August 2005 Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23 Empty Nesters. Fully Recovered.
I think I am offically off the diet. My appetite is back and have actually gained a couple of pounds. Good on me! I want to gain about another 5 pounds or so, and then I will be in a good place where my weight is concerned. I am down to 170 right now, and want to bring it up to about 175. My total weight loss thru this stopped at 32 pounds. I went down two belt sizes!!
I am also sleeping a lot better. Usually averaging about 7 hours a night, which is where I was at before. And this now without the occasional sleeping pill. I also fall asleep a lot faster.
I think I am offically off the diet. My appetite is back and have actually gained a couple of pounds. Good on me! I want to gain about another 5 pounds or so, and then I will be in a good place where my weight is concerned. I am down to 170 right now, and want to bring it up to about 175. My total weight loss thru this stopped at 32 pounds. I went down two belt sizes!!
I am also sleeping a lot better. Usually averaging about 7 hours a night, which is where I was at before. And this now without the occasional sleeping pill. I also fall asleep a lot faster.
hi dog
How are you doing? I dropped 5 notchs in the belt.. 2 full pants sizes...
I am also moving forward, abit alone, the anxiety is lessing everyday...
I am glad your doing ok... check out my myspace (linked below I think you might like the song...
Jim
Last edited by Ken313; 02/21/0706:45 PM.
EA Internet DD 2/06, 11/06 PA DD 3/20/07 started in 10/06 WW seperated 2/6/07 plan B 4/16/07 Divorced 7/09/07
Wow, the past week has been interesting for me. I have noticed changes in me, not just on the surface, but deep down changes.
I used to fear the unkown. I used to fear the future. This crept in to my daily life. When I or we would go somewhere new, my mind was preoccupied with everyday thoughts like "What if there is no parking, what if traffic is bad and we are late, what if it was good and we are early?" to major issues about having children or a new job. What if, what if, what if.
When those thoughts would be with me, it increased my frustration levels so much, I would sometimes take it out on people close to me, including the person I love more than anything in this world.
It was disrespectful to them. It wasn't healthy. It was toxic. A bad situation all around.
When I had my breakdown on Feb. 10th, I didn't want to live anymore. I feared the future so much, death was the easy route. It was very inviting. It was a relief, the end of the pain and suffering. I looked forward to it. Luckily, JustKeepGoing was on, and we were IMing each other. He saved my life that night. Thank you, JKG.
The next day, I made the most difficult decision of my entire life. Ever. Period. I let go of my wife. I set her free.
I still love her, but I cannot force her to stay with me. I cannot coerce her to stay with me. I cannot guilt her into staying with me. It wouldn't be right.
Since then, as I have wrote here, I have become stronger. I no longer fear the future. I no longer fear what people think of me.
I have two new tattoos. I speak if this to make a point. I have, for a long time, wanted to get one. I didn't. Why? Fear. Not of the pain of that stupid little needle going in and out of your skin a million times a second. No. It was fear of what people might think when they saw it. It was fear of whether I would like it or not. FEAR. It paralyzed me. No more. Not ever again. Ever. I never want to be like that again.
People saw right thru me. I put up a tough front. Yea, right. I was just fooling myself. How can anyone respect me when I was like that? They couldn't. I didn't respect myself. How could I? And, if I couldn't respect myself, I couldn't respect those around me.
As I have said, No MORE
I am in a good place now. It is only going to get better.
I like 2 paraphrase Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now", like this:
The past and the fu2re don't exist, except in our memories and imaginations. There is only NOW.
While it is useful 2 remember the past 2 the extent that it helps us avoid repeating our silly mistakes, it is harmful 2 dwell on it. And while it is sensible 2 plan for the fu2re, based on what we know now, it is equally harmful 2 worry about things that haven't happened and might very well not happen.
And 2 be silly, a quote from the late Patrick Layton Paulsen:
"The future lies ahead. As for the past? Lies, lies, lies..."
2Long, your post is dead on. I used to dwell on the past. Quite a bit. I would go “Gee, if I would have done this, then that would have or would not have happened, and I would be right here or over there at this moment.”
The past is the past. Things happen. There is nothing you can do about that today, or tomorrow except learn from it.
A lot of introspection has taken place since January. I know a lot of others have gone through what I have. There will be a lot more who will go through what I have.
The time frame from January 8th through February 11th was difficult. I was in a death spiral. I even saw that a crash was coming, but resisted and resisted because I feared the pain I was going to feel.
To those wondering, here is what happened to me. My self-esteem took a huge dive in the downward direction. So did my sense of worth (I guess the same thing, but not quite). My confidence was gone. Over the course of time during that period, it just kept getting lower and lower. It got to the point where everything was gone. I felt worthless as a human being. I broke.
The good thing is this. I had nothing. Zero. And now you are going, how is this good? Because I had nothing, I was able to rebuild myself into the person I want to be, the person I should have been. This process is still ongoing. Crisis situations will often times lead to the changes I have described. Oh, you can promise to change, blah blah blah is what it usually amounts to. It doesn’t work unless you get whacked upside the head with a 2x4 with a bunch of nails in it.
A leopard cannot change its spots, unless of course the leopard was utterly destroyed and has to rebuild from there. Reborn, so to speak. The spots have then changed.
I look back on our relationship, not to dwell, but to learn. We did have a lot of good times together. Going to Disney World, Disneyland, road trips, just hanging out, etc… But, there were a lot of bad times as well. I would use disrespectful judgments against her, I would love bust. I can now see why she lost her respect for me.
I am still moving forward. I did accept the promotion at work (I can’t remember if I told this or not). I am looking forward to the new challenges.
Now, the question is, with me moving forward, does this mean I have turned my back on our marriage? No, I have not. I posted earlier, that I would love to spend the rest of my life with my wife. The door is still open for her if she chooses. As I have said, I cannot force her.
But, I must keep going in the direction I have chosen, and I hope that she will decide, in time, to join me in my new adventure.
This transformation will make you look more attractive to your WW, and it's not uncommon that they begin being re-attracted to the BS as they "feel" them slipping away.
You are doing great, and it's fun to watch you grow! Keep it up. You will be just fine, regardless how your marriage turns out.
SD
BH - me 53, ONS 1979 FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003 Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04
***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
Update from me. I am still moving forward with my life. Every day that goes by, the pain I feel inside slowly goes away. My sense of humor is returning. My sense of purpose is returning. I feel really good about myself and the direction I am headed. The past couple of months has seemed like the longest of my life, but at the same time I cannot believe how fast it is going by. Does that make sense? I found a place to stay. A really nice apartment, 2bedroom, 2 bath, 1170SQ, wood burning fireplace, attached garage. The rent is very reasonable too. Yay for me! I move at the end of the month. She rented an apartment, but moved upstairs and in with the OM. Makes perfect sense to me.
The sick kitty we had? Doing much better. I will tell this story, tho. Just because it is funny and also made me realize something about me.
Tuesday, Feb. 20th. I guess it was Wednesday morning when this happened. My wife was living at home again, I gave her the bed because she had to get up early for work. I was on the couch. About 2:30AM, I hear one of the cats let out with a big, painful sounding "MEOW!" and then went running laps around the kitchen table. It was Chloe, the sick one. I thought maybe one of the other cats pounced her and she was surprised by it. But then, as I lay on the couch, I catch a whiff of something foul. The smelly smell of something that smells smelly. I was hoping beyond hope, that she just passed some gas or something, as the smell started fading a little bit. But no, that is not what happened. The smell came and hit me like a freakin' train. OH MY GOD!. It was bad.
With a sigh, I sit up on the couch and turn to put my feet on the floor and my big toe on my right foot goes right into something. That something was warm, kind of watery and squishy at the same time. ugh. Ugh. UGH!.
I get up and turn on the lights. It was a scene out of the scariest horror movie imaginable. My eyes lept out of my skull and my jaw hit the floor with such force I thought it would measure on the Richter scale. I went into shock. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Piles and PILES of runny cat crap everywhere. Behind the couch, under the kitchen table, on a cushion on a kitchen chair, 3 feet up the freakin' wall, trails behind the couch and all over the rest of the apartment. I didn't know a cat could carry that much inside of them. But wait, there's more. I'll get to that in a minute.
I commence operation clean-up. An hour later, a roll of paper towels and half a bottle of Zero Oder (this stuff is worth it), I get the mess cleaned up. My last spot to de-stain is under the kitchen table. I am underneath the table. As I am finishing up my work there, I notice I am still smelling it. What the heck? The other spots I cleaned do not smell anymore. Hmmm..
I turn my head to the left and notice a quarter of the UNDERSIDE of the kitchen table is plastered in the stuff. It was like someone was shooting textured paint with a paint gun or something. WOW.
I tell this story for two reasons. One, it might brighten someones day who is going thru the most difficult, life altering experience of their entire life. And two, it made me realize something about myself.
One of the reasons I feared having children was the poop and puke issue. Heh, after this episode, anything a kid could throw (or project)at me will never phase me!
Years ago, my friends, one of my friend's dad, and I were on our way back from a Model A swap meet in Southgate, and we decided 2 stop by a guy's house, who had an add at one of the spaces for some parts we were interested in, on our way.
We used 2 go 2 the swap meets really early 2 get first pick on the rare parts, so we were done at about 8am.
We knocked on this guy's door, and he cam out in a robe and slippers - that didn't quite fit, as his toes hung over the ends of the slippers. Obviously, we'd woken him up.
But he 2k us out 2 the garage anyway, 2rned on the light, and was walking around 2 where the parts were, when he stepped in what I would described as a perfect "Dairy Queen" pile of gooey DS (and I don't mean "dear son", either). We saw the whole thing. The stuff oozed up between his toes, he looked down, saw what it was, and said "Oh, [censored]!"). My friend's dad was quick 2 respond: "Good guess!"
We left shortly thereafter, without the parts! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Food. After my D was born, I never changed diapers. I couldn't keep from gagging at the smell. But when my son was born 8 years later, I'd learned some empathy for what my W did, and so I helped as often as I could.
And you know? They grow out of that period! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
I had my court date today. I showed up about 10 minutes before and my wife was there. I smiled at her and she smiled back, but that was it for the moment. A few minutes later, someone else comes up and it is her attorney. I don't have one, as I am flat broke. But whatever.
Go in to the courtroom and her Atty. comes up to me and introduces herself and asks if we can speak. So, we go out of the courtroom and we talk. I am offered a settlement.
We go back and forth a bit, but come to something that is agreeable. She proposes it to my wife and we agree. Go back into the courtroom, propose it to the judge, it is entered and the judge took a minute to applaud us for acting civil and coming to the agreement.
Afterwards, I walk my wife to the car and she asks if I would like to get some coffee with her. Sure. We spent two hours drinking coffee and chatting. It was nice.
Anyway, I am pretty ok with the settlement. We are on good terms, although it never really got too nasty (except in the beginning).
