Excellent that the two of you openly talked about this.

That was my point really. For you not to decide this was over because your heart was hurting without first getting a better understanding of M's perspective.

If you feel more secure now in moving forward with M then that's what you should do. You are talking moving forward, not setting the date. See what the future brings.

As you've said, you see the issues & you're not ignoring them.

OMG! If I haven't heard those exact same words "just because I don't say it doesn't mean I don't feel it"!!!!

Its sounding like a "love language" issue. Also he probably does think its monumentous, and he's inexperienced at expressing it.

My guy does things for me. Many, many little things every single day that tells me how he feels. So I know. No doubt about it. But he has a "thing" about saying it. He'd rather show me than tell me. And I have learned to truly appreciate his way.

I don't think you are dealing with someone who doesn't love you -- or that there is an imbalance in the emotions. Its just the expression of those emotions. Us girls find it way easier to just gush it out.

Maybe its just as simple as asking him why he doesn't say it. Start the conversation.

My guy was surrounded by bad relationships - both his own, FoO, and lots of friends. His observation was that people who said they loved each other...sure treated each other badly. So to him, its far more important to treat each other well.

Yes, M will say “Well, what do my actions tell you?” And then, he says he thinks actions are more important than words. LOL. I think they are both important. M does stuff all the time. He puts a lot of thought into gifts, he tries to help out, he watches and pays attention to me so that he understands when I’m stressed out, sad, etc.

This is probably TMI, but… Last night, he suggested I turn out the light. So, me, feeling fat, started thinking. You can see where my mind went. Within 20 seconds, M had figured out something was wrong, stopped what he was doing and talked to me. He was sweet and gentle and nice. Also, quite reassuring.

I've really come to appreciate those actions. They really do tell you so much! You just have to learn to "listen" to them.

My previous BF was a big talker. Really good at expressing himself, and talking about how everyone says he's the most considerate caring person. But, you know what? IT WAS ALL TALK. While he was going on and on about how he would do anything for anyone, I was thinking "HUH?"

I've definitely come to appreciate the "doers" instead of the "talkers"....