I totally get that, Still! I had to put my faith in the Lord also.

I mean completely, put my hand in his and walk with him...I felt that he was showing me signs that D wasn't the way...I had an appt. to file the papers along with the money and felt I saw three stop signs that day...so, I called it quits to the D...

It still took some time but I had my HP (high Power) on my side...and so far so good...so go far it!

I just had to ask for his guidance and to do his will! LOL...I still ask for the same thing and do the best that I can to be true to myself...

I had to own being angry with H last night...in the past I would have blamed my mood on other things, instead of stating my truth...

i have no doubt that things will work out just as they should! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Rind,

My faith is in the Lord and although I still have doubts if what I'm "hearing" is actually from Him or just my hopes... but I have to trust that this is from Him.
I to believe that this will work out as it should.... probably with a lot of bumps along the road but God will carry me over the bumps I feel I cannot handle.
I'll get to the right place... just not sure where that place is going to be.
Taking my son and some friends tubing at a local ski resort... will spend my time there reflecting and enjoying our beautiful son.

Still

still

i'm glad that you followed your heart!

Me too!

Still

when my H sent me a separation agreement.......i stalled and bought as much time as i could

i just KNEW in my heart that if we did this, he would buy a house with OW and they would move in together

i saw that as one step further away from coming home

eventually, there was no more chance of stalling because my h then filed for D

he was done waiting around

so i did what i had to do in order to get him to withdraw the D filing....and he did

and i offerred up the agreement in return

and he did buy a house and the OW now lives with him

now.....i'm doing whatever i can to keep him from filing for D

he may resent me for all of this now

mimi is right, she told me that a FWS will understand and forgive what the BS did to save the marriage

i have to do what my heart tells me is best

i believe that my best chance is to buy as much time as possible in the hopes that the A will end

that's what i'm doing

you're doing what your heart says is right

and that's the best any of us can do

Deep in my heart I do feel the A is fizzling. I've heard through the grapevine that she is getting bored. Friends of ours have seen her H truck parked in thier driveway late at night. So maybe she is cheating on my H with her own? I can only hope. And I'm not even sure if her car was there when his truck is there. For all I know he could just be visiting his kids. A good friend thinks it's on it's way to being over. Not directly from my WH mouth.. just his feelings.
Also if I don't try to hold things off and just let it go I'll always wonder if I could of done more. At least this way I'll know. I have nothing to lose.
This MOW has cheated on 2 H's and a boyfrined previously so I really don't think she'll be around.

Thanks Eve... I'll update if he does call me later.

Still

Do you ever wonder what the heck are we doing? When every one around you says that they would never stand for that. when I try to explain I used to say it also... but have it happen to you and you would understand.
Not that i would wish this misery on anyone.
I guess I'm just feeling... not sure what I'm feeling just get me back to my normal life.
Just a little vent.

Not sure if WH will call tonight... but was sooo pleasant during the converationes we didhave. My H is in therw somewhere.

Still

yes hurting

i DO sometimes wonder what the heck i'm doing!

dealing with all of the heartache and lies and cruelty, working so hard on plan A and now on plan B......waiting and waiting.....

i wonder sometimes why i want to reconcile when i know that it's going to take even more hard work for a long time

i know it would be easier to just let go....really let go...and move on

i know why it looks like i'm NUTS to my family and friends

but my heart still belongs to the wonderful man i married and i'm not willing to let him go

just in case...

because if he's still in there somewhere....he IS worth all of this

Eav,

My family and friends think I'm silly for wanting to reconcile. And I explain to them I know it's not something they agree with... and every single one of my friends said it's because we love you and don't want to see you hurt like that again.
I tell them thank-you, I need to do this for me. Plus I don't have as far to fall if I'm disappointed this time (LOL). I have nothing to lose. And that is what I keep telling myself.
All I can say right now my WH and I seem to be getting along better than we have in a long time. Am I feeding myself BS because I want to believe he may want to come back. Probably. But I have that flicker of a flame that is trying to start up again... through smoldering smoke. Hopefully God will help me see through the smoke. All I know is I feel good about what I'm doing now.
I'm off to take a bubble bath... getting nervous about mediation tomorrow. Nervous that this won't be put on hold. Nervous that I'm going to break down and look foolish. Scared I'm going to hear what I don't want to hear.
I'll check in,later

Still

good luck tomorrow hurting

wear something wonderful!

think good thoughts!

and carry a stun gun in your purse in case your H says something to hurt your feelings!

(okay, i was kidding on the last one)

i'll be thinking of you and praying that YOUR hopes are realized!

Eve,
I need all the luck I can get.... I also need prayers. I know my MIL and FIL are praying for me and my WH.

Tomorrow morning I'm going to Mass because it's Ash Wednsday. And I'm giving up something I absolutely love for Lent... no not my WH (lol) I'm going to give up Pizza. Forty days of no pizza... this might be worse then trying to quit smoking.

I will think good thoughts...I think I could get tackled if I try to bring a stun gun into the court house. But if this was 3 months ago it would seem like a real possibilty.

And thank-you for keeping me in your thoughts... it starts at 12:30 EST.

Still

Just got baack from Ash Wednsday Mass... this is truley the season to self reflect evaluate and ask for forgiveness.
Talked with my WH early this morning as I was getting ready fro church and mentioned to him I was going to church this morning. He said I thinnk today would be a good day to go back to church..... I told him yes I think it would. On the way out of Mass I asked our pastor to pray for WH because he is coming back to church. Now hopefully he will follow through. I'm taking this as a sign from God that he is working on my H heart.
I guess I will find out for sure this afternoon.

Still

Good Morning Still! Just reading your posts, praying for you and wishing you the best!

I'm looking forward to hearing what happens today!

((((((Still))))

:hoping to do the happy dnace for you:

Rin

Rind,

I too hope I'll be doing the happy dance. I just have a good feeling about this.
Hopefully it's not a wolf in sheeps clothing.

Still

It went horribly.... WH doesn't wish to put the divorce on hold. And it went downhill from there.
Nothing was settled. An interim argreement about visitation with our son. But primary residence is still in dispute.
Financially nothing. he wants me to remove my name from our joint checking account and threatened to not have his paycheck deposited. He's the one that gets paid this week, so my paycheck went to pay his rent , the mortgage and now that nothing is left screw me. Luckily he won't be allowed to do this. At least until March 1st.
I needed to leave the room because I couldn't keep my emotions in check, and the finances were discussed without me there. I didn't think I had far to fall I was just so wrong. I am hurting sooo bad right now. I really thought this was going to be put on hold.
I thought God would do this....I thought I saw signs. I guess I'm just a bad reader of what's goign on.
I jst want to curl up and cry.

Still

still,

praying for comfort for you...I'm sorry

IHC

I was just so sure.... I hate this. Why does ****** happen to good people when the people doing the hurting seem to get off scott free. It's not fair.
It's not suppose to be like this.
I'm just hurting right now.

Still

oh hurting

i am so sorry that darn idiot a$$ hurt you again.

still,

jumping in here for just a minute.

I confess I have not read this entire thread, but, I have to say there is no way I would do this sh** Twice.

No way.

You seem like a good person who deserves so much more.

You gave it your best shot. He's proven himself to be a serial cheater. Let him go. Let him and MOW fall into all the trouble and sin they want.

YOU should move on!

(((((((((((((STILL)))))))))))

I'm so sorry, I really am...I have to think that God has bigger and better plans for you!

Oh, sweetie!