My grandmother divorced my grandfather in 1963 (the year I was born) after years of abuse and cheating. She was ostracized by the community as a divorcee even after everything he'd put her through.

Yeah, those were "the good old days" for sure. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

yeah 10swords...


GOD knows my posts here show over and over agian my BELIEF in people MEN OR WOMEN STAYING IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS...
oh yes and some good doses of ostracizing....

yeah that's what I say all the time..
that's what I believe...

yep you nailed me...

get beat and shutup...
that's what I say alllllllllllllllllll the time....

PUHLEEEEEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

perfect example of kneejerking in my opinion

ARK <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I just don't think anything was any better in the past, I believe that we just are more aware of it now. People are always reminiscing about the good old days, but they were never that good, Jim Crow.

Um - I took this to mean that after the grandmother divorced her husband after years of HIS cheating and abuse, the community ostracized HER because she was a divorcee and they found that to be worse than being a cheater and an abuser.

The point being that this happened over 40 years ago and therefore it is a mistake to believe such things never happened "in the good old days". And that with as bad as things can be now, they weren't exactly perfect "back then", either.

I totally agree.
Mulan

I never ever ever ever ever said that bad things didn't happen in the old days...

bad things have happened FOREVER and will continue to do so....

but I do believe there was and continues an insidious propogandization of the desvalueing of men..

as husbands
fathers
and
people....

that the pendulem is on that sdie of things...

ARK

The corruption always seem to piggyback no matter how much people try to avoid it.

Makes me ever suspicious of "movements".

Except the anti-affair movement of course.

There is ALWAYS room for my own personal soapbox. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

You got it, Mulan. Gotta run now.

Good discussion indeed and generally on the mark too!

Agree that society in general has become materialistic, self-centered and shallow. How many times do you hear someone make a statement about someone's actions (pick anyone, even about Hollywood type) and then say they don't want to "judge" someone? Why the adversity to judging someone - there is right and wrong in the world and it takes a backbone to see it and call it what it is (which people on this forum thankfully do regularly).

I had to take a moral analysis course awhile back at a public univ, the prof had us read some book about how we got our morality from apes - I couldn't believe it! (Don't remember the name of the book). Apologise to any offended apes out there but I didn't buy that argument. The whole course was taught w/out meaningful discussion on God or religion, it was unbelievable to me (didn't get a sparkling grade in it either). It just highlighted the large void we've created in education, values and society in general.

There's a reluctance to call a spade a spade, lest it be a value judgement and infringe on someone else's rights. I guarantee when we expose a WS to others, they make value judgements, they should anyway. We want their value judgements in enlisting them in our battle to break up an A. People who really don't know right from wrong are called sociopaths and are a danger to those in their path.

Sorry rambled on but it's a good topic.

V/r,
No way

Yeah I remember those days very well the gossip about those type of people.

But have we really moved to a better era now or just different?

The gossip and being ostracized made people keep things pretty close to the vest if you will. That may not be such a bad thing.

Today we proudly tell someone haveing M trouble, Run don't walk, to your lawyer. Get a D. Its totally accepted as a Normal lifestyle now.

A's are now considered an alternate lifestyle and accepted as that's how they choose to live. Consideration for the M and the BS is totally ignored, as a matter of fact, it is just an incovenience in the way for the WS seeking happiness in the arms of the OP.

A's are used as means of exit from an othrewise good M. One such example I read about: A WW was asked if she would consider leaving her H and getting a D. "Oh yes! But I would want him to see it coming." She then set out to spend a period of time complaining about her M to everyone she knew, about how badly her H was treating her, how unhappy she was in her M. Which up to that time had been considered by her and the H to be a good M. She made the pretense of working on the marriage while all the time her real intention was to destroy it.

That to me is the lowest of the low in someone lacking integrity and having any consideration for the one she made a vow before God to be with forever.