Weaver,

*snicker*

I admit it. I was a shirt-stuffer, too.

LOL. Pep...I always say "Neuroses attract..." ~ there is a reason you and I click...heehee. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Mimi ~ omg, you made me go dig out my SARK books - they had gotten dusty! Have you read "Eat Mangoes Naked?"

I think so many newbies come here expecting the process to move quickly and smoothly from one step to the next. After all, the people here can predict what a WS will say and do before the WS knows what they are thinking themselves.

Until you understand the whole program, and continue to apply bits and pieces of it randomly to you problem, every attempt is frustrated. I've seen so many that say, "What should I do now?" The answer they get is "Expose the A to anyone that can put pressure on it to bring it to an end." Two hours later they are back and saying, "I told my MIL/SIL about my W's A and now she's so mad she won't even talk to me. She says she was thinking about staying and trying to work things out, but now I've just made her realize that she can never love me again."

Then the follow-up question, "What do I do NOW?"

In my attempts to assist newbies (those even newer than me) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> I try to point them to the resources that are here for the taking; the first 4 threads on JFO, the articles, the Q&A columns and the "books." I also try to assure them that they are NOT special cases and that when someone says, "All WSs do that" they mean ALL, not just 50% or 75% or even 99%.

The stuff here works, but first you have to know what to expect and you learn that by reading, reading, reading....reading. You can't begin Plan A until you have a PLAN. It must be a plan that says, "I will do this, then this, then this...." If the first play from scrimmage is an incomplete pass, you can't abandon the game plan and begin to ad-lib. That is why it is called a PLAN.

I've been thinking a lot about this and have some of my thoughts in a MSW file, I might post them some day...or not.

Mark

AND I failed to mention that I also want to BE LIKE Pep and Susan and Mel and Weaver and ark..WHEN I GROW UP!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

EAT MANGOES NAKED...YIKES..I've been trying to just coast into my WILDNESS!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Oh Mimi ~ dont you want to be JUST LIKE YOURSELF when you grow up? YOU are very cool and bodacious just like YOU.

XOXO - bodacious and sticky BR...

Susan told me about this book & I am totally gonna get it... here's the title

STOP DRESSING YOUR SIX-YEAR-OLD LIKE A SKANK

look it up on Amazon

Pep

For Mimi ~ once you stop coasting through Succulent Wild Woman and learn to accept your bodacious self...you need to read:

Eat Mangoes Naked: Finding Pleasure Everywhere (and dancing with the Pits)

Think VD would read it?

Pep,

I feel the same way as you. Some, not all, of the newbies don't take the time to read the MB site first then post questions here.

Here is my first post:

"me 36, WW 33, DD2, DS5 10 years married. Dday May 8th. I've been working on plan A for 5-7 weeks and WW says things are %1000 better between us. She askes me though "how am I to forget about how I feel for OM?" She clams that she loves him. They had an EA only, but still an A. I'm making home as good as it can get right now. I have been changing my bad habits that drove her away and she knows that I don't put all the blame on her or judge her. I want her to love me. She won't touch me, but still goes on trips with me and the kids. We go to drinner and such. We get along well and she says "why didn't you change years ago?" I don't know, but I'm working my a** off trying to be the best me I can be. When will her love return to me?"

_____________________________________________________

I tried to learn all I could then ask for help. I also agree that too many want the quick fix that is not there.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> [color:"red"] VD can READ ????????[/color]

You got me there, dearling!

Actually....

She

just

got

a

job.

Quick! Make certain the earth is not spinning off it's axis! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Uh, no.

And I didn't dress my girl at six, she totally dressed herself...

I took her to Mackinac Island to the Lilac Festival with my new boyfriend, our first "just the three of us outing" and she was wearing something that I guess wasn't appropriate (showed a little of her chest0 But I didn't notice she was starting to look like more of a woman than little girl.

My BF got very upset after we had lunch at a fancy restaurant, pulled me aside and said "please get something else on her, now" He then told me that only in our part of the woods would that be acceptable (back-woods ?) and that a dirty old man was looking at her in a wrong way. He said he almost completely lost his temper before we left the restaurant.

We almost broke up that weekend because of his insistance that my daughter speak to him respectfully, and dress properly.

I didn't notice that she had grown up, body wise. My now fiance' has helped me more in the area of what is age appropriate for little kids than anything else has. And she really likes him now!

I will get the book, thanks Pep!

Actually I've become [color:"blue"] VERY BODACIOUS [/color]! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Life becomes verrrrry interesting with no children in the house!

ORDERING EATING MANGOES NAKED TODAY!!!

Thanks again AS USUAL, BR!!!

LOL - while bodacious can (and does!) include ... uh adult ... whatever...its really all about your attitude, about self love, self *celebration* - how you carry yourself and what you tell others about yourself!

Can I tell you a secret? I am trying to write my resume for a job that I was *asked* to apply to. I hate writing good things about myself. I haven't learned how to bodaciously present myself! (ack!) Those stupid tapes still play in my head, whispering to me that I am not good enough. SARK was exactly what I needed to read so I love myself enough to describe myself well...

now that we are totally off topic...

No doubt, especially with you in it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I thought of you Mimi, when I bought some of the best mail polish I have ever used (Joan Rivers). It is way better than OPI.

I thought probably the only other woman who would get this excited about a great working nail polish is Mimi on MB.

Weaver ~ one the first lessons in self-love and bodaciousness that I was given by my Al Anon sponser was to paint my toes wild purple.

She said no one could take themselves too seriously with purple toenails. She was right, my twinkling purple toes carried me bravely through my husband's affair =)

I know, BR. I actually GOT IT. You guys have taught me well. I'm also Bodacious AT WORK....well, all the time, really...I feel FREE and OK about BEING ME...


WE ARE BODACIOUSLY OFF TOPIC!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Is that the name of it- Joan Rivers? My FWW loves nail polish. It was one of the first things that attracted me to my wife - her very nice nails.

The reason I ask is because Valentines is coming up and I would like to get her some new polish. She uses OPI now and if this is better.....

I totally understand this. As I age I begin to understand something about age, and see such a contrast between the woman who practice self-love and those who have never learned to love themselves.

Brightly adorned...easily, carefreely, laughingly going about their days.

Yes, you can buy it on QVC, in kits of all different sizes and colors. Get one of the kits that includes the base and top coats. It is by far the best nail polish out there.

Trust me, she'll love.