I am a newly betrayed spouse. This is my first time here. I am enjoying the reading on the website but I can't seem to find something on my husbands affair. We have a wonderful relationship he still says that now that he can not even think why he did it. We work together so our lives are completely intertwined. I would know if there was a long term affair I arrange all his out of town trips and he is home with us all other times. What happened was about 6 months ago he said his penis was raw after sex and asked me if I had a yeast infection. I told him I had no symptoms. He went to the doctor and came home and told me he just gave him some cream. Then he suddendly stoped being interested in sex much and was always tierd so he could go to bed before me. Than the other night he came to me with a envolope and asked me to read it. In the envolpe was two pills with a letter saying that there was a bacteria going between us that he had been tested for STDs and was negative and he had no idea where it came from. I took the pills because I didn't want anything. But the next day I looked up what I had taken and it is only givien in that large of dose is for STDs so I confronted him and he finally told me that on a golf trip to mexico he paid someone to give him oral sex. This is so out of line for him I can't even begin. He is so respected by everyone no one would ever image this. I am having trouble because I work here with him so I am having to put on a show every day that everything is alright he is the district manager of this office I can't tell anyone what happened or they could lose respect for him. I have an appoitment on monday to find out if it killed whatever is inside me. But how does forgivness come when they held information for months that could hurt you. If his story is true that was almost a year ago I am very afaid to go to the doctor. I can understand about the forgivness and I think I could have worked threw that but how do you get over that someone knew they had or possibly had a STD for over 6 months and not tell you he was treated twice and when he was feeling better would have sex with me and it would come back. Could it truley be that someone as smart as this man could know that he passed me something? And then to try and slip me some pills without me seeing a doctor to find out if it was right for me just to get away with it? He says he did all out of fear of losing me that he loves and adors me and that losing me is what drove him to lie. I am so confused because like the basic rules I worked really hard at that stuff. I told him that is says here that there had to be a reason he did it but he says he can not find a reason. Does anyone have any insite?

post this on the general ll boards... there is no traffic in this area, but lots on general.

mlhb