Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 37 of 92 1 2 35 36 37 38 39 91 92
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
B
Bugsmom Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
Good morning!

I finally did get a bit of sleep last night,,,but took a while before I finally drifted off.

Quote
Schoolbus pointed out that we talk about what we think about. Only think about the success for tonight.


I believe this to be true for me. I am hoping it is true for WH, because then that would me by his phone call he IS thinking about ME. Which, depsite all of my hopes & dreams, I didn't think could possibly be true.

We didn't get a chance to chat this am. He was driving in bad traffic & horrible weather conditions.

Quote
Don't know the weather in the MidWest today, but the shorter the skirt, the better....


Sorry to say it' raining hard right now. Hoping it will let up for the change of clothes I brought with me today!

Quote
Overcome any of his initial standoffishness, by being fun, flirty and consistent... Hey, that's another drink you owe me, Buster! And you know what I do when I get a little tipsy...
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Right now, the Goddess needs to TRY to focus on getting some work done! Going to try to keep my mind occupied for the first half of the day with work.

After that - - will allow Goddess mode to take total control!

I'll keep you all posted!

Thanks again for the support!


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
Bugsmom #1817417 05/04/07 02:18 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
B
Bugsmom Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828

Just got off the phone with WH.

Bugs - Hey there are you busy?

WH - not especially, what's up

Bugs-Do you and the kids have any special plans tonight?

WH-no why?

Bugs-Can you meet me for a while after work?

WH-Ahh, well,,, sure

Bugs- Great. How's your day looking? Any idea what time you might get outta there?

Wh - Probably the usual I should be able to get outta here between 5 & 6

Bugs - Well, I have to run down to X area later,,,I'll be close to X place, how about we meet there

Wh - X place where? (like he doesn't even remember the place at all??)

Bugs - On X area?

Wh - Oh, OK.

Bugs - Well, just give me a call later and let me know how your time is looking and we'll take it from there

WH - Ok

I am shaking right now I am SO nervous! Step One Completed.

I'd throw up if I'd eaten anything today!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I will definately have to eat something or I'll be loopy after the first drink.

But - I have to say WH sounded NERVOUS himself! I LIKE that a LOT! Let HIM wonder what this is all about,,, right???

AND, I went shopping during lunch. SHORT skirt now in my posession, along with a new shirt, new jewelry, new fabulous smelling body lotion, new wonder bra,,and matching thong. Already have the cute little heels to match.

A COMPLETE GODDESS OUTFIT if I do say so myself!

Ok,,,,,,,,,,Bring on the conversation & last minute tips!!

Here's what I'm thinking,,,,I will start off with going over DD's teacher conference schedule first. Then, just say let's relax and enjoy having a drink together.


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
Bugsmom #1817418 05/04/07 02:28 PM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247
S U C C E S S ! ! ! ! !

Step One CHECK!

You RAWK!

Got the war paint on? extra "scent"?
pheramones? asset-enhancing gear?

Lexxxy #1817419 05/04/07 02:34 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
B
Bugsmom Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
Lexxxy,

Thanks!

Am waiting about an hour before I change -

From my post above -

Quote
I went shopping during lunch. SHORT skirt now in my posession, along with a new shirt, new jewelry, new fabulous smelling body lotion, new wonder bra,,and matching thong. Already have the cute little heels to match.

A COMPLETE GODDESS OUTFIT if I do say so myself!


I brought my curling iron and makeup with me already! I came ARMED today for SUCCESS

Actually, back up plans were/are already made with a friend of mine. I called and told her what was up and that I'll call her after I meet with WH.

I'll be staying at her house tonight,,,,,,,,,unless of course this goes even BETTER than I hope???? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
Lexxxy #1817420 05/04/07 02:39 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
YOU HAVE HIM CAPTIVATED!!!

REMEMBER: YOU ARE MAKING CLAIM TO WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY YOURS!!

MAINTAIN THE POWER AND CONTROL!!

If you feel like you are losing it, GO TO THE BATHROOM AND POWER UP AGAIN!!

IMAGINE US THERE LIFTING YOU UP!!..and we are...

I'VE BEEN PRAYING FOR YOU AND YOUR WH THIS AFTERNOON....

Mimi now saying: Lord..intervene in that situation...touch the heart of BUGSY'S H...deliver him from evil...wrap your loving arms around BUGSY and give her the strength she needs tonight...it is your grace and mercy that brought her this mighty long way...

Your message:... "I just came here to CHILL with you"...
Look him in the eyes when he talks to you..let him do most of the talking... you listening...ask him about HIS WORK..focus on CONVERSATION which will allow you to convey SINCERE ADMIRATION in response to him...touch him as much as possible especially on the leg...

YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO....CARRY ON....

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
mimi_here #1817421 05/04/07 02:52 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
B
Bugsmom Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
Mimi,,,,,

Quote
IMAGINE US THERE LIFTING YOU UP!!..and we are...

I'VE BEEN PRAYING FOR YOU AND YOUR WH THIS AFTERNOON....

Mimi now saying: Lord..intervene in that situation...touch the heart of BUGSY'S H...deliver him from evil...wrap your loving arms around BUGSY and give her the strength she needs tonight...it is your grace and mercy that brought her this mighty long way,,


You have NO idea how much this means to me! I literally have goosebumps all over!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

I know that as we were BOTH praying the same thing today, we have given God even more power in this situation and I can not thank you enough!

So,,,,

Quote
REMEMBER: YOU ARE MAKING CLAIM TO WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY YOURS!!


Oh yes!!! Perfect Mental Note! Helps put those nerves down a bit.

Quote
MAINTAIN THE POWER AND CONTROL!!

If you feel like you are losing it, GO TO THE BATHROOM AND POWER UP AGAIN!!


Great tip!!

Yes, I think I DO know what to do from here.

I am going to be reading and going over the HN/HN info while I have time to kill.

Before I called him today I -

#1. Prayed
#2 Read over the advice from you & LG
#3 Read over MB principals

I think I am as armed and ready for this as possible,,,,,

I'll have my blackberry charged so I can post afterwards!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
Bugsmom #1817422 05/04/07 03:01 PM
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 928
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 928
Never posted to you before but I keep up with your sitch. I mostly only read those threads that sound very much like my own FWH.

Anyway, I just wanted to chime in and say that you have many people praying for you eventhough we don't post.

Goodluck tonight, I can't wait to read about how it goes. Unfortunately I will have to wait until Monday unless I can get a minute this weekend to log on.

Is the shirt low cut????? If it is make sure you show the girls off a bit... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Last edited by InADaze; 05/04/07 03:01 PM.

None are more unjust in their judgments of others than those who have a high opinion of themselves.
InADaze #1817423 05/04/07 03:06 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
B
Bugsmom Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
Daze,

Thanks for checking in and letting me know you are out there with those thoughts and prayers!! I know we all are cheering each other on, even if we don't post to a particular thread.

I really, really, really can't say enough how very much it all means to me.

I LOVE the wonderful ending (or should I say beginning) of your story by the way and have gone back to read it several times. While I am sorry that you or anyone has had to go thru this, I am thankful to have learned from your success.

Shirt is not real low cut,,,,,but makes 'the girls' still look nice! Funny,,,, WH calls them The Girls, too!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
Bugsmom #1817424 05/04/07 03:22 PM
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 928
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 928
Quote
Daze,

Thanks for checking in and letting me know you are out there with those thoughts and prayers!! I know we all are cheering each other on, even if we don't post to a particular thread.


You are so welcome. I constantly have all of the people on this board anyone else out there in the world going through this in my thoughts and prayers. It's so hard to explain how it feels and how you change as a person to someone that hasn't gone through it.

Quote
I really, really, really can't say enough how very much it all means to me.


We've all been there, we know exactly how you feel. I know I couldn't have stayed sane throughout the separation if it hadn't been for this place. I still come here to see if my feelings are normal.

Ofcourse, somedays I feel anything but normal!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Quote
I LOVE the wonderful ending (or should I say beginning) of your story by the way and have gone back to read it several times. While I am sorry that you or anyone has had to go thru this, I am thankful to have learned from your success.


Thank you for taking the time to read it. I'm flattered and proud that it helped you. My FWH was pretty run of the mill but at the same time he was the biggest cakeeater I've ever seen. He still pretty much spent most of his time with me so that made it easier to plan A. And we work together so I had evenmore opportunity to plan A and show him my changes. But enough about me... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Quote
Shirt is not real low cut,,,,,but makes 'the girls' still look nice! Funny,,,, WH calls them The Girls, too!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

If you read my thread you know FWH is a boob man. And that was 1 thing I definately had over OW. So I always made sure to highlight them any chance I got. Still do!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Go get your seduction on tonight girl!

I'll be home with my 2 kids, a friends 2 kids, and my DS9's best friend!!! A housefull of 5 kids... should be interesting! And lucky FWH has to cover for one of the other patrol Sgts tonight until atleast 8. Ack!!! So if ya get bored with WH (LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />) pray for me.


None are more unjust in their judgments of others than those who have a high opinion of themselves.
InADaze #1817425 05/04/07 05:07 PM
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520
Bugs,

Fingers crossed, toes crossed and anything else I can think of.

You go girl.... praying really hard for you my friend.

Still


BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
B
Bugsmom Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
Well it lasted all of an hour.

Bugs was cute,charming and sexy. She stared into WH's eyes, leaned forward while he spoke, asked questions and listened with care.

She told him how great and smart he is

She paraded her assets, made sure he got good looks at them all and touched him.

WH asked as soon as we sat down, 'so we are here, what do you want?'

Bugs'nothing. Just a drink and some good company'

WH- 'oh no, you must want something'

Bugs 'no, just what I said'

I should have said a lot more, but the Goddess was not real confident

We did not meet where I wanted as FIL has to work tomorrow so WH said he did not have much time bcause he had to get home to kids to FIL could go to bed

So,, good general convo until I return from the bathroom

Wh starts with -i want u to reconsider letting DD go to the lake. She needs to be there for her brother's bday

Bugs- she can go with you


Wh - BUT?

Bugs - but nothing. She can go with YOU. You know the conditions.

He tried to 'nicely" discuss but I just changed tyhe subject

He sat ther fuming from then on. I chatted about all kinds of things,he even smiled a time or 2 but it was over

I gave him a hug outside and said thanks for meeting me

He called me on his way home and the FIGHT ensued

He pretty much demanded she go with him. Said she IS going with him period

I said no - you can take me to court if you want but she is NOT going

He is putting it all on MY hurt and refuses to see any potential damage to her. I even said - JUST wait 6 months.

Finaly, I just said we will have to agree to disagree.

'Please dorve safe' in my nice sweet voice

He said he was pulling into the house. I told him I would call back to talk to the kids

I did. He did not answer but did call back.

I talked to the kids and sweetly asked him about them. Nicely said good night

Wow! I thought I was setting him up for the big seduction scene and he was setting me up fpor the take down on the lake trip!

I even reminded him that he said he would not do this after the camping weekend. He referenced DSS bday as the reason and that it was not fair to DSS

I said, no it is not fair.

Fog fog fog fog

Ahole ahole ahold WH!


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
B
Bugsmom Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
Ok. So I made it home and while I am upset, I do not feel devastated

Let"s think about this. WH did not get what he wanted so Bugs is the bad guy again. So what?

He tried laying out all kinds of crap-- I am dragging things out, I am ruining HIS lake tradition that HE had WAY before I came along, I am being unreasonable. This is NOTHING like what he went thru when his mom left his dad because OUR marriage was over first before the HO, and if DD already knows about Ho, HOW could her going possibly HURT her??

What a load of CRAP.

I can either buy into it or not

I choose NOT.

I choose M. I choose calm and peace.

DD will be with me that weekend because I will take off days before and be out of town. It is MY weekend

He tried all kinds of threats. He said that if I am going to be so hard core, and unreasonable then he will too.

Just WHAT is that supposed to mean?

As I said before, what is he going to do, divorce me MORE? Ha! He can take me to court

I just uncorked a bottle of wine and am going to frink the whole thing and gp to sleep for 2 days!

God is with me and He is all I need right now. Ok,,amd a couple of glasses of wine

I think I will send him this text message

"WH- so are you so mad at me that a booty call is out of the question? THAT is what I REALLY wanted from you tonight. Luv Bugs"

Thoughts???:)


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Sounds like you did just fine. He didn't get his way, and he is angry. So what?

Enjoy a glass of wine, and know that you did good.

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247
you've got your MB buddies in your corner bugs!
this is just another thing to go through....you scored, he didn't...part of Plan A.

And you already know that Plan A alone rarely works. You're already planning Plan B, and thats where it will hit him hard.

his turn to hurt is coming.

((((bugs)))) been thinking of you all night! We're with you!

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
B
Bugsmom Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
Thanks, B.

I am gonna try.

Like so many women, I just do not deal well with an angry man. I do not like to argue and tried hard not to. In fact, I said several times that my stance is firm and I would not argue about it with him

Am going to look for some tylenol pm!


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Don't take it with the wine.

Know that you did well. WS's are often angry, but they get over it.

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,306
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,306
Bugs,

So sorry things didn't go like you planned.

He's trying to put it all on you - Heh, same thing my WW does to me sometimes.

Entitlement - who needs it?

Enjoy your evening, you goddess <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids.

Plan A Thread
Plan B Thread
Ephesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
B
Bugsmom Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
Good advice. The wine did not taste good and could not find the tylenol, so am SOL for now.

So, am laying here with my cats watching Hope Floats with Sandra Bullock and Harry Conick,Jr. It is good for a cry and a bit of hope in the event WH remains and H never returns.

The focus being getting better for ME no matter what

Just thinking about how WH went on about how he KNOWS DD will NEVER judge him

I agreed and it disarmed him. I told him, she will always love you no matter what. He had nothing to say to that. He was upset though when I said he would be hurting her if he takes he out with OW now.

Trying to resist sending WH that text:)


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 193
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 193
I was sooooo hoping things would go your way tonite! But still, when you get deep in plan b, he will remember tonite and how good you looked and wish that maybe he had taken you up on that booty call!

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Don't send it.

Any thinking person would realize it would be bad for daughter to go. Obviously he is not thinking right. Try to enjoy your evening, and congratulate yourself for maintaining good control.

Page 37 of 92 1 2 35 36 37 38 39 91 92

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 137 guests, and 53 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
annonymous, Robert Robertson, Myramillan, rufaia1231, esenlee
71,889 Registered Users
Latest Posts
20 appointments and $1000’s later…
by IrishGreen - 10/30/24 06:20 PM
Happening again
by jah - 10/29/24 10:00 AM
I grounded my wife - am I proceeding correctly?
by Mature - 10/27/24 02:05 PM
How Do I Tell Him I Don’t Love the engagement ring
by BrainHurts - 10/22/24 09:30 AM
Children
by BrainHurts - 10/19/24 03:02 PM
Can I become attracted to anyone?
by phinnino1 - 10/11/24 07:57 AM
MBRadio show discussing electric fence pers.
by phinnino1 - 10/11/24 07:55 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,614
Posts2,323,458
Members71,889
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5