Sorry to hear things did not go as you planned. You tryed and he is a fool for not wanting you.

I agree with you not letting DD go on the lake trip. She does not need to see him with his HO on a "family" trip. Take her away for some good mother daughter activities. Go to a day spa and live it up.

PERFECT..WONDERFUL...and because we wanted to make sure that you carried this off and maintained your GODDESS STATUS, we did not WARN you about how he might play out this particular WH SCRIPT....



You rate high in my book on the level of confidence anyone could have in that particular situation..YOU ARE ONE BRAVE SOUL!!



IMO, this was in LARGE PART his battle with you in response to you maintaining the UPPER HAND..maintaining your self-respect...so he goes for your ACHILLES HEEL to try to WEAKEN YOU...BREAK YOU DOWN...

AND I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE HOW YOU MAINTAINED YOUR CONVICTIONS!!



TRUE..but HIS PLAN DID NOT WORK!!! HAH!!

Believe me, IT BLEW HIS MIND..the whole scene..YOUR LOOKS PLUS YOUR STEADFASTNESS AND CONVICTION!!!

As the other poster said...PERFECT FOR HIS RECALL DURING PLAN B..and sets the scene for PLAN B...lets him know that when you make up your mind about something that he cannot BREAK YOU DOWN...

Yep..YOU WON THIS BATTLE..FOR SURE...

Good morning, all!

Thanks SoSoSoSo much for the support!

Mimi- as usual, your analysis is the conversation helps a lot!

I think I 'won' this battle, too.

I do not feel sad or very upset this morning. I am being true to ME and to what I know to be right. No reason to feel bad about that!

WH is a fool. If I focus on what he says, I am focusing on a fool and what good is that?

Let him be angry. That is HIS to own. Let him twist everything I say and do to justify his warped views.

It is not for Me to try to control that. I can not. I can only control me.

So,,I am on the house chores this am and will be out later to celebrate CincoDeMayo.

Thanks again guys,,you were my sanity savers yet again!

You, my dear, are a SHINING STAR!!!

Off to my son's GF's COLLEGE GRADUATION!!

Later...

Just called the kids. They were in trouble for fighting.

WH apparently really got on them and told them they would not go out tonight unless they are good for the rest of the day

DSS let out that WH had hinted at talking them to a carnival. I 'think' I know where he is talking about

I am concerned that he is going to pull having th Ho there. I may just have to go check it out myself tonight

WH gave me strictly YES or NO conversation. No big surprise there.

I know it p*ssed him off that I continue to use my sweet and nice voice. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Good Morning! Have you thought about possibly going to check them out? I mean really thought about it!

What would that accomplish? Would it get you peace of mind? Would it help the sitch? If, she was with them, how do you think the kids would feel seeing you and they are with her?

I'm not saying don't stay on top of things, but suggesting that you don't add to any damage to WH's.

Just my 2cents! Checking in on you to see how your doing! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Rin,

No, I really did not give it a lot of thought. It was just a comment off the top of my head

It would accomplish nothing other than to further confirm what an a**hole WH is being.

The only good thing would for me to know for myself tha WH is not putting something over on me.

I would want to rush in and take DD right outta there. Which that would only upset DD.

It is merely WH trying to show me how HE is in control, and to further 'prove' he has moved on. So, I fully expect this will happen.

Am trying not to think too much about it.
Geez-

For some strange reason, the WS always want to drag their children to meet the OP. Since they are so "in love", they think everyone else should be to.

I wouldn't go to the carnival. Just assume she will be there too. Then go on making a good life for yourself.

I have accomplished nothing so far this morning other than drinking coffee and watching movies. And you know what, for once I don't feel bad about it.

I have the entire weekend to clean house & do laundry! Normally, it would all be done by now. Truth is, I do feel a little down and just am unmotivated.

Was thinking, why do I want to take care of a place that I will be moving from soon? I should let it go to heck for WH to worry about when I'm gone.

But,,,,,, you know I can't do that even if I wanted to. Plus, Plan A is still in effect for now so it's important to remind him of what a nice home WE have. That takes me down the road of thinking about him getting that "fix' from being at the Ho's house. EEEEHHH - - I gotta stop that!

Have mostly been thinking about what to do Memorial weekend. I am pretty sure he's going to try to take vacation early that week and just take the kids and go. It would not surprise me at all.


He told me last night he's looking to trade his Jeep. Said he was looking at a Durango to "pull HIS boat". I asked what happened to the plan to use Dad's truck? His answer was "It's not mine"

Truthful answer would have been"Because the ho and her son won't fit in Dad's truck"

I was proud of myself for not biting on that one, as much as I wanted to!!! It would have accomplished nothing other than pointing out to WH that I'm not STUPID enough to believe his crappy lies. It wouldn't stop the lies, so why bother?

It's probably going to get really, really ugly from here on for a while. Not much I can do to stop that = I won't back down from what I know to be right for our daughter. I can't.

So, that leaves me with being the New Improved Bugs = dealing with whatever comes my way with my NEW outlook and reactions. Having the tools will help, but it will still be very hard.

Unfortunately, as I continue to work on my Plan B plans, my sister has declined to be intermediary when we discussed exactly what it will entail. Have been thinking about what to do with that. She was really my only option for that role.

So, am likely just going to have email/text communications with WH about kids. He doesn't like to write or type, so I
am not really concerned with him doing much in that way. He will try to call, but the answer to that is very simple, I don't answer. If he leaves messages, Sis can retrieve them and edit as necessary. She will help, but has declined to be directly in the middle at this point in time.

Besides the kids, we'll have nothing to discuss but the D. He can talk to my lawyer about that. He pushed really hard last night saying I need to talk to my lawyer, as HE can do what HE wants when it comes to DD. Lord, what a [censored].

He just doesn't get that it's not about legality, or my hurt feelings, or his feelings for the HO. It's about DD.

He made fun of me when I said I've read & studied about kids in this sitch. We have a mutal friend that had her first baby and didn't make a move without consulting a "book". I didn't agree with that and said so many times. He threw that up at me.

I WISH I had responded, that I've helped raise children and everyone around me has raised children, so books weren't necessary as much. I have NOT been thru a divorce with children before, NOR has any of my family, so books and advice IS necessary to best help the KIDS.

Of course, that would fall on deaf ears as well.

Ok,,,,,think I'll get off here and shop on line for a new house. That might cheer me up a bit.

Thanks guys!!

Spend some time trying to find someone else to me the INTERMEDIARY. Without an intermediary, PLAN B will not be effective for you. Your WH is too manipulative and too much of a cakeeater.

I disagree. If you really think your D will be with the OW at the carnival, go get her.

I would go check it out.

This is a FIGHT that you cannot back down on...

I think there's a way to do that without scaring your daughter.

I think it's scarier for her to be in the presence of the OW.

This whole situation is tragic for her.

You don't think it would be UPSETTING for your daughter to be there with her Dad and another woman.

It will be time for a TALK with her as to why you are taking her with you.

Iwent and did not find them. Drove to ho house and she was home
This am WH brought kids over while he was going to mow the grass

DD was talking about what they did last night and says
'Daddy, what is your fiends's name?'

WH looks right at me and says 'Sheila'

I walked out of the room into the bathroom and slamed the door


He went out and started mowing

I told DD I had to run an errand and left and am sitting in my car crying

Please,,what do I do now?

I think you need to go into PLAN B to PROTECT your DAUGHTER.

She's already CONFUSED and CAUGHT UP IN THIS..wanting to let you know with him present..She is doing this for SO MANY REASONS and it is not good for her. She is trying to PROTECT HERSELF, YOU, BRING THE FAMILY TOGETHER...

Mimi..whose INNER CHILD is your little girl..

Bugs, you've got to PROTECT HER..like my parents did not...

I feel like I'm here for her, Bugs...gives me the chills...

I don't think your daughter or you can stand anymore of him..

He is DISGUSTING...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Go back and get your daughter.

Make it a special afternoon.

Let her TALK AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT.

FIRST LISTEN..to get INFO...without showing alarm..and then say what you need to say to her to HELP HER WITH THIS...to PROTECT HER FROM THIS EMOTIONAL HARM that is BEING DONE TO HER...

I just got off the phone with my Mom

I am going back to the house to get DD and we are leaving for the day

As soon as school is out-3wks she and I are moving to my Mom's. We have to get away from here

I will do all I can to protect her.

Please pray for us.

oh BUGS,
I am so sorry to hear this.

He's lost his mind. What can he be thinking?

Have you considered confronting her (the ho?)???

GREAT PLAN!!

But stay away from the HO...

Too much unnecessary drama....

The main thing is to PROTECT YOUR CUB...

We are at the park. We played and now she has made friends

I went in the house changed out of church clothes, put on DD' shoes, got in the car right in front of WH on the mower and pulled out. He stopped the mower and stared after us. He had been stopped when I got back and was talking on his phone

Now I know why he hung up last night after DD talked to me - he did not even say hello. Not with the ho there.

He told me this am on the phone that he and DSS 'have plans at 3 o'clock' and would not say what, so obviously more Ho time.

When DD and I get home I am making a list of address changes for bills etc which I will send to Mom's starting now.

Will finish up Plan B letter for him as well. Will try to get it done and post later

BTW- WH bought brand new decked out Durango to haul around the new family-PUKE. Wonder. How he plans to pay for that??

Do not worry about me wasting time on the HO. I supressed that a while ago and am doing ok with it for now.

We are at McDonalds.

WH called 2x. I did not answer. He left vm, said he was done with the grass and didn't know what my Plan was-if I expected him to wait there or what. Give him a call

I am going to text him 'I have nothing to say to you. DD will call you at bedtime"

DD and I did talk. She knows the full story. She is sad.