He's LYING. My guess is this is what he and OW schemed up to appease you. Hold your ground Bugs, you're doing great.

WE know that WH hit some bulleyes last night but HE doesn't know that. All HE saw was a calm, cool, collected Bugs standing her ground no matter how big a tantrum he threw. He has to respect you for that down deep because that's where H is... down deep. H knows. WH is just pi$$ed that he's not getting his way.

((Bugs))

EXACTLY...I always FORGET to WARN you about this...I was thinking that this would happen...we are so SMART..they are so CLUELESS..I used to refer to my then WH as being like DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE..always TURNING from one to the other..BOTH ARE REAL...Orchid knows this well <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />..this is why we need the PLAN B...He will have nowhere to VENT except on the OW..when he is missing you...CRAZY ALIEN <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />..Gotta run...

PM & Meggy,,,,

Thanks ladies! You really help me keep on the UP side of things with such great support.

It's such a help to get confirmation on things,,,,, AND even correction when I'm off the mark.

I gotta tell you, last night with some of my girlfriends, they decided that for Memorial Weekend we should make it a "Charlie's Angels" weekend for us.


Rent a 1980's Mustang, put on long wigs with feathered bangs, and head on down to the lake. If OW is there, we wrap up the baby girl and bring her on home! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Now THOSE are some darn good friends! I am SO blessed to have them and to have you all here, too!

To keep the WH thinking about the text message exchange of last night, I sent an email this afternoon.

It included pictures of nature (cactus, trees, gourds, etc), that grew in "interesting" shapes, if you get my drift. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

The message said - "I've told you how I felt this morning, and I have been trying SO hard to concentrate on work, then I get these pictures that aren't helping me keep my mind off our messsages last night! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />"

No response and none expected.

Just sowing the seeds,,,,,,

It's my night to have both kids. I was surprised last week that on his usual Ho night, he initated text messages for the first time.

So, my plan is to be the upbeat Bugs when the kids talk to him to say goodnight.

I will wait until they are asleep, and then send a text message to repeat my invitation from last night.

No expectation. Merely a hope that he will reply and engage in some contact. Of course, the ultimate wish being that he accept the invite! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Damn you are good!! Can I use some of your lines on my WH??

You are bold!

Bugs,

Who are you inviting? The WS or your H?

L.

HM -

Don't know how good I am,,,just doing the best i can. Feel free to use anything that will help you!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Orchid -

Fantastic question. Of course I WANT it to be my H.

Unfortunately, it's irrelevant now. Sent the text and neither one replied last night.

I wasn't really surprised, as was the ho night.

By not responding at all, I believe he is trying to keep that door open. If he'd replied NO, then the door could be considered shut and I get the feeling he's not quite ready to do that,,,,,,,,,,yet.

We spoke this am after he talked to DD. I, of course, talked about how I was Excellent this am,,, having a GREAT morning.

He was Mr. Chatty guy again. Even telling me about winning some backstage passes to a concert tonight AND making sure he told me that the person going with him is an old friend of his that he hasn't seen in a long time.

I'm not sure about WHY he told me that. He hasn't shared ANY details of ANYTHING he's been doing for a long, long time. Thoughts anyone??

I offered to take our digital camera to him today for the concert,,,,,,,,he hesitated, but declined. I really didn't want to, but considered it a Plan A type offer and thought I'd get the chance to see proof of who really was going?!

Then,,,when he declined, I of course immediately assume it is because the HO is also going which rather deflated my feeling good about him sharing at all.

OOOPS! I need to stop putting myself on my own rollercoaster ride! WH does that enough without my helping it along.

I will likely forward WH some silly email sometime today - I usually send him some funny thing almost every day. I am thinking of adding to one "By the way, you missed out on a GREAT time last night!"

Thoughts? I want to bring up the invite again, but I don't want to seem like I'm begging,,,,,,,,,????????????

Gotta run. Am going to DD's school this afternoon for a Mother's Day event, DSS has a dance at school tonight and DD has a bday party tomorrow. Glad to have a busy weekend planned with them!

Later all!

Bugs:

It was HO night. No Response. And Ho is going to the Concert. WH did invite "old Friend" But he has more passes then he let on.

"I had a GREAT time last night?" So did he, with HO. Or maybe not, since he was in a happy mood with you.

Doesn't matter.

Offer some tasty treats for mowing the lawn this weekend. Something that would be plan A, but very tasty, and removes the focus from LAST night, to TOMMORROW NIGHT.

Orchid. Good question. But what's the point?

WH is out there. H sometimes returns. And Bugs is hitting the PLAN B Button in a little over a week. SSSOOOOO, Bugs needs to focus and end with a excellent plan A. Because her fence-sitting WH is about to get hit with something that will knock him off the fence.... However, it's HIS Choice as to which side he lands on...

Bugs, you have been doing great.

You have put everything into trying to save this M. Showing WH the changes you made. Trying to be upbeat and charming and doing all the things that spouses do to make the M work. WH has responded to some of it, and reacts badly when you do it really well. You have made it plain to WH that he is "the bad guy" but you are willing to work thru your M problems and build a stronger M. So. It will soon be up to him. His choice. Silent Lucidity and LilSis describe what goes on during Plan B. SL for the true roller coaster and eventual sucess and LS for the lonely and renewal that occurs.

Please read Mimi's thread about her plan B Experience. Hers is a success story.

I hope it works out for you. The summer is going to be tough. But you will be freed of WH and his bad choices. And be left with what is real in your life and what it can become. And if H wishes to rejoin it, he can. But he has to make that CHOICE. Not WH. H.

(((Bugs)))

LG

Morning, Lg.

You are right abut the who/what/when re: the ho.

It doesn't matter.

I think I'l invite WH to meet us at birthday party place. Apparently they have a play place. I can invite WH, using the idea that DSS needs someone to hang with, AND we'd all like for him to come. This will be for tomorrow night.

Will certainly whip up something as a mowing reward! That will be for Sunday. Weather should be really nice, so think I'll spend some time "tanning" on the deck while WH mows the grass. Maybe weed the flower beds in my swimsuit or wash the car while he's there. (makes me think of the movie Cool Hand Luke)



Thank you for that. I appreciate the confirmation of everything I've been working so hard to accomplish
AND
the reminder that ultimately, it is HIS choice.



I know it's going to be tough. However, moving with DD back to the area with my family is going to be VERY helpful to us both. They are a great support system.

Harley's recommendation to have that support, and even moving, makes a lot of sense to me. Where I am now would only keep me rooted in the 'old' and make it more difficult to stay out of interactions with WH.

I am sure he hasn't thought about what it's going to be like to move back into OUR home with everything of mine and DD's moved out of there. He is going to be surprised how the empty feeling house is a reflection of the empty space that our absence will leave behind.

So, after this weekend, it's Plan B Planning Mode. Thre are several things I'm struggling with,,, mostly the When/How to do the letter, and the WHEN to make the move. I am mostly concerned with the impact on DD.

Will detail that more later

BWAAAHHAAAAHHAAAHAAA!!

batteries to what?

BC:

You don't know what a B.O.B. is?

Ask Mimi..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

LG

Oh I am pretty sure that BC knows EXACTLY what b.o.b. is,,,,, <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

I am just surprised he was the only on to comment on that!!

Normally, I would have INTENTIONALLY called attention to the "double meaning", but am not quite as sharp these days! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I'll take the high road this time and say innocently,,

"Of course I meant the battery to my Blackberry!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

That's one of those neck massager things, right? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I might have read about it around here somewhere.

Sorry Bugs...sometimes the jokes write themselves. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Ahhhhh, you gave yours a nick name.

BC,

You know I really needed a smile today and the BEST ones are those at my own expense when I least expect it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I am usually the one that reads the double meaning into things and call other people on it!.

Your sense of humor is one of the things I love about your posts! Do I dare admit to having a similar sense of humor???

BTW - - I am a lucky woman to have great friends who support me,,,,,,,,,,,one of which is employed by ENERGIZER! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Alright, I need to think about something else.

Grandma, Santa Clause, Osama Bin Laden, Rosie O'Donel

that's better.

Have a nice day.

BAHABAHBAHBHABHABHABHABHABHBBBBAAAA!


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Good ones Bugs!

Energizer! Cool! you rock!

Bugs,

Related to your flirty text messages - check out http://www.hoochymail.com for some free adult mad-libs kinds of stories. Maybe hide on somewhere for him.

I e-mail one to my WW <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Actually I forgot what B.O.B. means..NO KIDDING...

I definitely know what it is, though... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Battery. Operated .Boy

22Dev AKA Southern Belle