Oh bugs;

I haven't posted my sympathies and prayers for you.
I'm just stunned by your loss.
I am so sorry.

Yesterday. One year ago. At 10AM I took my daughter, and 2 of her friends down to the trauma hospital in our city.
To say goodbye and sit by the bedside of one of her best friends -- because that afternoon, they were taking him off life support and donating his organs.
He had been in a car accident -- hit by a drunk driver.

Sitting in that trauma unit -- facing that mother and father who knew they were losing their son that day -- was one of the most powerfully emotional moments of my life.

I am so so sorry for what you're going through.

Hello.

Thanks again everyone for your thoughts and prayers. We are going OK. It has been a comfort knowing so many people are praying for and thinking about us.

I know I don't have to say how hard this is, because everyone knows that. It's just that it's even more so as I feel so all alone in it all.

I had been doing so well having gotten rather in sync not to expect anything from WH.

However, in a tradgedy such as this, I thought he would step up to the plate. He's actually treated me worse than he treats strangers.

Virtually EVERY conversation we have had since this has happened, he brings up something so that it is about HIM. It's really sickening.

He even called me today to ask me to pick up DSS's prescription because HE is so busy at work. He complained to me this morning how BAD things are at work & how HARD it is for him.

FIL is on vacation but has his brother in town and is "limited in the amount he can help me(WH)"

What a load of CRAP!

I am pretty sure he & his BF bought property. He LIED (yea, big surprise) and told me he needed to take HIS lawnmower over to dad's to change the belts. I KNEW that he could do it here, but didn't know what he was up to.

FIL told me WH took OUR mower and FIL's mower somewhere over the weekend. He didn't know where.

I'll guarantee that they bought property somewhere and used it this past weekend. I've tried searching county records in the areas where I think this probably is, but haven't found anything.

I am going to ck another county where I know WH had been looking at property as well to see what I can find.

I have to travel out of state Thurs and Fri for my nephew's visitiation and funeral.

As we are so busy with this, my plans are now all pushed back. I am likely still going to implement Plan B at the original time,,,,after Memorial Day. However the move out of here will be later than I'd hoped.

I can't wait. I am getting pretty tired.

I did use the terms of endearment this last day, even though I did not want to. Also, asked and empathized with his work situtation. Told him I'd still have DSS for dinner tonight and tomorrow to help him out with the late hours he's working --- even though I wanted to SCREAM at him that he should be HERE helping ME!! ugggh!

Again, thanks everyone for the help!

Bugs,

Someday your H is going to look back at all this and be so ashamed of himself in how he treated you. That's when he gets to loose the W.

Keep the faith.

Still

Still - from your lips to God's ears!

Last night I had DD sleep with me in my bed. I just needed to be close to her, to snuggle with her, and watch her sleep.

I had both kids for dinner. Took DSS to FIL's after dinner. DD locked keys in the car, so FIL took me home to get spare set

It was good to talk to him one on one.

FIL said he told WH he does not want to meet any more of his 'women'. FIL is DONE and was totally serious! WH replied 'that's not right'. FIL did not care!

He said what WH is doing is only thinking of himself, and no one else, even his kids and it is not right.

I thanked him for always being there for me and the kids,,that I did not know what I would do without him. He will ALWAYS be a part of our lives no matter what WH does.

WH had to come by the house to get DSS's meds that I 'forgot' to take to FIL's house

We were talking on his way home when he realized he needed gas and did not have his wallet. I offered to meet him so he could get gas,,:e called his BF instead. But, he did thank me for the offer

He came by for just a minute. He gave DD hugs and kisses. Made sure he moved away when I got close, but I caught him 'looking' at me.

I followed him to the door and got in a few back rubs on his way out

As he will have kids Thurs night, I told him I would have DSS tonite if DSS wants.

I also told him FIL and uncle are having dinner w/me & kids tonite

WH-'why?'

Bugs-'because I haven't gotten to see uncle and I will be gone after tonite'

He did NOT like that at all. He really hates my good R with his family.

Both last night and this am I made sure to talk about his work troubles and give him lots of compliments and assurances of how he will turn it all around

I am DETERMINED to go out of Plan A STRONG and POSITIVE

Gotta go find a dress for the funeral. not something I want to do, but my nephew was all about looking good and I will not disappoint him!

One last thing - last night it was thundering. I have always told DD that thunder is the sound of the Angels in Heaven bowling

DD looked at me and says 'Hey, I hear J bowling! Boy, he is really loud!'

I was so proud of her. I wanted to cry but smiled instead!

OH, BUGS! Give the recent events, YOU sound great! Keep up the food work!

You are doing one heck of a job! I'm sooooo proud of you!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Really, I always heard thunder was something else.

Should probably stick to YOUR story with DD though.

As for as your Plan A. I've only really been paying attention the last month or so but your Plan A has had me biting MY knuckles, so I KNOW WH has to be biting his too. If your Plan B doesn't bring him to his knees, NOTHING will.

Bugs:
I've been keeping up, but not posted. Please let me express my sympathies to you and your family. What a horrible loss. How devastating for everyone, lean on each other.

And as for WH....blech. I hear you. All about HIM. There are no words for THAT, either. (nothing that can be posted, anyway)

You are doing so well, you really are. You must be feeling the stress; please know that it will be better in Plan B. Hang tough.

sis

You're such a WARRIOR GODDESS!!

I envision you in a WONDERWOMAN OUTFIT!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Your WH, IMO, is such a garden-variety WH...the stronger he feels the desire mu to run into your arms, the more he forces himself to run in the opposite direction

HE'S LIKE DRACULA WHEN HE SEES A CROSS... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Rin, BC, Sis,

Thanks fo ck'ing in with me.

You know, this tradgedy has further strenghtened my resolve in that what we LOVE and CHERISH is worth fighting for, no matter what the odds

Life is so,so precious and so,so fragile

I did not and do not want to look back and regret any more things I did not do when it comes to loving those who are most important to me.

Regret will be what WH may face Some day. Maybe not. That is his problem.

I just want to show him my BEST before I go dark. If I do otherwise, I only provide him with a 'justification' to cling to.

Everyone around me sees my doing my best when he does not deserve anything. So, when I do go dark, they will also remember and remind WH when he tries to lash out and justify that I am 'being unfair'.

I just know that I need to feel good about this for ME. And I will

...and you SHOULD.

I am so proud.

((((Bugs))))

Mimi -

I love the Wonder Woman reference! I have slimmed down to where I JUST might be able to get away with that costume, too!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I think I like the Dracula reference even more!

It is ironic that you said this. Last night the kids gave me my Mother's day gift he bought - it is a Crystal Cross!!

Ok- I have decided to give WH a new title. He will henceforth be known as Drac (ala Mimi's post)

FIL and Uncle came to dinner. We had a great time. I talked to them both after dinner and they are both in agreement about Drac having lost his mind.

They were both very sweet. They played w/the kids and left.

Drac apparently called while I was drying DD's hair as none of us heard the phone ring. He left a message that I just picked up.

Obviously we did not call him back. Why? He is w/the ho, so he would not have answered anyway

I sent Drac an email earlier today that I fell asleep while tanning,,,and gave him details of the erotic dream.

So- I epxect that I will be treated like I smell like garlic for a while

I have more important things to worry about the next 3 days. My family needs me and that is where I will spend my energy.

My nephew used to introduce himself by jokingly saying "Hi, I'm x, and I am a big deal around here"

My sisters found t-shirts that say that and they are PINK! We used to tease him about him wearing pink and havimg to look Jperfect' - we called him our favorite MetroSexual!

Sis bought enough shirts for us all to wear for the visitation tomorrow. He will LOVE it!

God, I miss him so already!

Nite everyone. Hug your kids and sign your donor cards!

Bugs:

((((BUGS))))

LG

Lg

You always seem to say just the right thing!

That hug felt good. Thx!

BWAAHHAAHAAHAA!!

I have a neighbor JUST like that, down to the PINK shirts. Keeps a bottle of AXE in his JEEP.

Now I wish I knew him, I'da gave him HE11!!

I love that your family is CELEBRATING his life. He's gonna laugh his A$$ off in Heaven. Do you think you still have an a$$ in Heaven?

One of our inspectors died last year and at the funeral all his buddies went up to the podium and ROASTED him.

Kinda like they're doin to me on my thread right now.

Oh well, I can take it.

Still prayin for the family.

Have a good night BUGS.

BC-

With God's sense of humor I have a feeling an a$$ IN HEAVEN is just the beginning!

The hospital/donor organization is also sending 200 'Donate For Life' braclets that we will give out. Nephew will be wearing the first one

I took this afternoon to put together video and pics of him

He was a hottie!

Think I will either retire to bed or go over to the Bc thread to roast something,,,

Morning!

We missed Drac's call to the kids last nit. I sent him a text ltr--as I knew it was Ho time

Said - sorry we missed your call. Hope my dreams are more satisfying tonight. Of course, you could always turn those dreams into trality!"

This am he talked to DD

First words to me were -'so what was up with that?'

Bugs+ 'up with what?'

Drac-'with me not getting to talk to the kids last night?'. He was using his best accusing tone

Bugsu 'we did not hear the phone ring. I went to call sis later and got your message.

Then in my calm, NICE voice 'Honey I have never kept you from talking to the kids Ever. I do not appreciate your accusing me of it. We have talked about this before'

Drac -'yea, ok'

He asked when I was headed out to the funeral and then had to go

Bugsu"you have a great day baby'

Drac-'oh you too'

What a [censored]!

I think the ho has the alien firmly back in control today.

Off to pick up Dad for the drive. Will try to ck back later.

Bugs,

My prayers are with you over the next few days. Celebrate your nephews life and the life he has given to others.

Still

Just think of it this way - you got the good guy for all these years; when he transformed into a bad guy/alien - that's the man Ho deserves. You'll only take him back/if/when he becomes the good guy - the good guy would not even notice Ho if he were around.

Yeah, one day he's gonna come back to trality!