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SO WE BOTH have relieved our dry spells!!! GOOD FOR YOU! It seems as though you are also moving in the right direction!
I wonder how long it will be before he comes back for seconds!
WS-36 BS (me)-28 4 Kids A started Jan 07 ________________________________
Then the time came When the risk it took to remain tight in a bud Was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
-Anais Nin
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BOTH OF YOU!!
I already lost Silent.
Alright, that's it. If IHC and Rin get some I'm leaving the forum. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5 OM1 9/06 - 03/07 OM2 04/07 - present Divorced May 8, 2008
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LMAO...guess you're safe from leaving the forums...
i have no intentions of doing any dancing to end the dry spell...LMAO
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. Thomas Carlyle
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BC
Don't you DARE think of leaving us!
I'll hire a 'pro' to come see you if I have to! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Talked to Drac tonite after he talked to the kids.
Back to typical WH mode for the most part.
We chatted about his day of golf and were having a decent conversation. Then he mentioned about a particular guy there he does not like
This guy is the one that had lunch with the OW a couple of months ago when the word was getting out around work about her and Drac. This guys came right out and said to the ho 'so I hear you ar f'ing Drac'
So,,,needless to say, Drac does not like him. So he is telling me about this guy coming up to the table while they are eating and he - "immediately makes a comment about MY personal life"
DUH - like I can not figure out that he made a comment about the HO?
WHY does he say that crap to me. The pointed comments that it is HIS personal life of which I am not a part?! UGH!
Then it was 'give MY kids a kiss. Have them call me in the am. Thank you'
Mr Impersonal WH.
I did not LB, I did not bite on the comments at all. Just kept my smiling voice, and said 'good night sweetie'
Am sitting in the tub and then going to bed. No TM to him tonight. I sent enough earlier
BTW - I printed out the announcement of his promotion. I am going to frame it and give to him tomorrow with a congrats card
We have to talk about the weekend. He keeps telling DD they are headed to the lake Fri - but he does not know the memorial is Sat. I am rather dreading THAT conversation. But it has to be done
Nite all
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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I'll hire a 'pro' to come see you if I have to! Get a name before you send her. I don't want STBX showing up. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> OK, working on the anger now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by BetrayedCajun; 05/21/07 10:24 PM.
BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5 OM1 9/06 - 03/07 OM2 04/07 - present Divorced May 8, 2008
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Apparently FIL told Drac about the weekend Memorial sitch
When Drac spoke w/DD he was pumping her up about going to the lake on Fri
He got on w/me and I KNEW from the tone of his voice something was up and so I asked what was wrong. He denied anything being wrong
We talked about his golf and work, then he says "I know we haven't had a chance to talk about it, but Dad tells me you are BRINGING DD to the lake?'
Bugs-'yes. When we last spoke about it I did not know when the memorial was going to be. It was decided late Sun that it will be on Sat afternoon. So, I thought I would bring DD down to you that night if that is Ok"
Drac 'What is the point of that? She will only have the one day! She might was well not come and YOU can explain it it her'
Bugs-'honey, I wanted her to have atleast one day'
Drac -'And just what is she going to get out of it?'
Bugs -'I meant that I wanted her to have atleast one day with YOU"
Drac-'well she should be with ME the WHOLE time'
Bugs'And my Nephew should be here, too! It is not like this is something I planned or wanted'
I started to tear up and my voice was cracking
Drac'Well it's not MY fault and it is not your fault'
Bugs'it is no one's fault'
Drac was silent
I was sniffling trying to not cry. I asked if I could call him later. He said ok and we hung up
He just does not want me anywhere NEAR his big lake party and unless it is done by HIS plan, it is all wrong.
If this were HIS neice, he would want DD there.
I KNEW this was going to be a problem, but it still hurts and upsets me!
What a selfish PIG!
I am open to any suggestions on how to handle this.
I am thinking of sending an email to him vs talking to him
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Hey Bugs,
Are you sure the ho isn't going to be at the lake. He seems awfully worried about the fact that you would be bringing her?
Still
BW me 46 WH 46 Together 28 years married 23 3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14 DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW WH left job 4/02 MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up) Separated 7/04 to 10/04 Retrouvaille 9/04 Red Flags 11/05 DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss. Moved out (him) weekend after labor day 23rd anniversary 10/7/07 Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
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Ok, NOW we're in a similar sitch. I haven't figured it out yet so I can't ADVISE. I can empathise, sympathise, and all the other ises.
To ME, LG's idea would help the sitch tremendously. I have some old irons I haven't tossed yet if you want me to send em.
I'm sorry for this Bugs. Sending a great big Cajun Bear Hug.
BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5 OM1 9/06 - 03/07 OM2 04/07 - present Divorced May 8, 2008
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Bugs:
It's ALOT easier making golf jokes... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
Isn't it your weekend for DD anyway?
EMail: NO PHONE CALLS
SFB (my term for DRAC: [censored] for Brains)
We sort of got off on the wrong foot this morning about the weekend trip.
My nephew's passing has really thrown me for a loop, and my support system is in tatters right now.
You and I had discussed various options regarding this weekend, but with nephews passing, many things are different. (foreshadowing Plan B...)
Since the memorial plans were not confirmed until Sun Night, and I wasn't sure how to bring it up, we find ourselves in this place now.
You are invited to the Memorial Service, and you really liked Nephew. (if true) OR make sure he and DSS are invited!)
And DD really liked Nephew as well. Since DD didn't go to KY (If true) for the funeral, this will be are only time to celebrate the life he had.
I had hoped that it would be on Friday evening, but it is Saturday. I was going to leave and drive DD up so that you can have the rest of the weekend with her. I will drop her off, give DSS a hug, and you as well!, and return to the house. Mowing the lawn this weekend...
We had a plan, and considering the circumstances that changed them, I am truly sorry. Like yo said on the phone earlier, No, it isn't your fault. Or mine. Sometimes, it just is.
This could be a lot simpler.
Bugs.
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Still
No, I am not SURE ho won't be there. Until all of this other happened I was cooking up a way to follow up on that issue, but have been totally sidetracked
BC- Wow! Those Cajun Bear hugs are the Best! Thx!
I have been thinking, that just like the camping weekend, God takes something BAD and finds a way to bring some tiny bit of good from it
Think about this
Nephew dies and it is HORRIBLE
Nephew donates his ograns and 5 lives are saved
DD does NOT go to the lake with Drac and thus we avoid the HO issue all together.
Don't get the wrong idea,,, I am just going from my belief of the bible- Romans 8:28
I believe that God can find ways to help us in the worst situations of life if we allow Him to and if we Look for the good through our pain
I know some of you all will think I am nuts, and that is OK. This is what helps me and gets me thru.
Agree or not - it works for me
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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I can hardly believe this myself.
I had just finished composing an email to Drac about the weekend. I sent to my Sis for comments. I was getting ready to send when an email arrives from Drac
Subject is ? And there is an attachment
Now previous to the A, Drac would send me virtually ALL his work correspondence to review and edit for him. He has not sent me ANY emails since he came back to work here, til today
I FORCED myself to wait a bit before opening it.
As suspected, it was something for work that he wanted me to edit for him
I replied that it looked good, but I wasn't sure about what he was trying to say in one section, as I am not familiar with the particular program. I said to call if it would be easier
1 min later he calls. Mr Nice. He explains, we talk, and he says thanks bye
I edited and sent back.
WOW-how can I get the world to revolve around ME like that? Where I can totally ignore the fact that I was an A-hole?
Now I do not know if I should bother with the email I wrote?
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5 OM1 9/06 - 03/07 OM2 04/07 - present Divorced May 8, 2008
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Hey Bugs, I wanted to let you know I get through things the same way that you do...
Right now: psalms 37:34 is the one that's doing it for me!
Don't be impatience for the Lord to act!
it goes on to say that you will be blessed and the wicked will fall...
I think that you are doing some great stuff...I mean it looks like Plan A is working...
just remember to accept...don't try to read into anything right now...just my POV, but I think that would cause additional hurt...
What's the timeline on starting Plan B? I must have missed it or something...
Keep UP THE FAbulous work! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. Thomas Carlyle
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Beegar?? Is that a cajun version of a ceegar, perhaps made from spanish moss?:)
Rin- love that Psalm! Thx.
Plan B, along with the rest of my life has been settback a bit with losing my nephew
My plan right now is to talk to DD next week to begin to prepare her for upcoming changes.
I brief talk with DSS as well. Then Plan B.
Then, I will be moving in with my parents by the end of June for the darkest Plan B possible.
Have to wait a coupld of weeks longer than planned for the move, due to family having previous commitments.
I am not telling Drac in advance of the move.
I think the delay has been a good thing, as I do think some Plan A stuff has finally had some effect.
I just do not want to drag on too much longer to where I lose my Goddess powers!
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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LOL!! BC don't leave! No more nookie talk around him.
Although I have been in a really good mood since!
WS-36 BS (me)-28 4 Kids A started Jan 07 ________________________________
Then the time came When the risk it took to remain tight in a bud Was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
-Anais Nin
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I'm not clear where it became acceptable for him to bring her to the lake....so this whole thing has me baffled.
When did you change your mind about it? I thought you were volunteering at school to make it impossible for him to snatch her? I thought you were going to make plans for you and DD?
Is is true she doesn't want to go to the lake?
If so, why is this a big issue? Just take her with you and tell him what is going on.
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Yea, WHAT ABOUT DD AND THE LAKE???
Make sure that you stand firm on that, Bugsy.
That makes your PLAN A all the more POWERFUL!!
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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The lake was put to the side somewhat.
His part thinking that the promise that the ho was not going was satisfactory to me
On My part, I was formulating to keep DD with me but I had considered personally confirming the ho was not there. I had gotten the name of a P.I, and was working out the details over the weekend when the accident happened.
With this scenario, it does become moot either way.
Despite my doing ok in many ways, I do let the typical wH still surprise and hurt me.
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Beegar?? Is that a cajun version of a ceegar, perhaps made from spanish moss?:) Nope, it's the betrayed's gift to a wayward, as in here's Plan B, STICK THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT, SUCKA!! Hence, a BEEGAR
BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5 OM1 9/06 - 03/07 OM2 04/07 - present Divorced May 8, 2008
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