then what what?

I was just saying ...it is not a either/or situation

don't get pregnant
don't get diseases

the spying thru the window thing ... is moderately creepy to me

He is playing you....NO DOUBT. He finds you attractive and wouldn't mind getting some. You are an adult, and can do what ever you want with your body. However you should do what you are going to do WITH no expectations (very heard to do in reality). If you have a "booty call" with him, please knwo you do this with full HIGH risk of contracting a STD and being "played" in the process.

Please take precautions in what you do.

Goodluck

Lem

All,

Do not doubt that I protect myself.

I appreciate the concern but let's not go down that road of discussion again here. It has been on many other threads already

Pep- thx for the clarification. Just wanted to be sure I wasn't missing some 'obvious' point that everyone else knew but me!:)

If you end up getting played, will that change anything?

Bugs,

Last time I checked, you are still WH's WIFE. Also, that I could tell it seemed to me that you went into this EYES WIDE OPEN not expecting anything other than the sex. Personally, I think as long as you used some protection to avoid putting yourself at risk for STD's...you're his wife, you're an adult, and you consented!

I highly suspect that if you go into Plan B fairly soon, he will REMEMBER this night!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

No harm...no foul in my opinion! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Your faithful friend,



CJ

P.S. You and your family are still in the prayers of my whole family and some of my prayer partner friends. I think you are holding up MARVELOUSLY.

Lem,

I think the sitch right now is that he is playing,,,yet also perhaps testing the waters a bit.

Testing the 'new bugs', testing the changes I have made, testing my continied truths AND testing how far he can be Mr CakeEater. How much can he continue to do what he wants with no giving back

It is obvious to me just based on his comments about buying his friend's business 'after things are settled between us'

Nothing has changed on his end that is going to change his path

Therfore, my path also remains pretty much the same as well. The thing I am thinking about right now is that IF he and OW are split right now then he will be doing thru some withdrawl.

Duing that, I have a window of oppprtunity to have a few more stellar Plan A encounters with him.

Just my thoughts right now,,,,

Don't get sidetracked by the BREAKUP TALK...

If they have broken up, THEY BREAKUP TO MAKEUP..part of the SCRIPT..creates PASSION for them...

He's CAKEEATING..is ALL..

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Bugs,

I'm glad you were able to get a booty call.

I would almost kill for one with my H right now.

Still

Mimi-

I agree. I can not think about that any more than previously.

Focus needs to be on MY actions. Right?

I just don't want to mess up everything I have worked so hard on these last few months.

CJ - Yep, eyes were wide open (the entire time btw) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Still - it WAS great, but as I said and CJ noted it really was just sf. It wasn't a great love encounter and if I was foolish enough to put too much into it, it could really depress me

Have to say, and it may sound odd, but I am thinking of it more like some men would, I got what I needed from a physical need and that is it

No offense guys! I know you are not all that way!:). Just trying to explain the mindset I chose here in order to protect myself in the emotional sense.

Bugs:

Stay with your Original Plan.

He wants to takeover a new business?

He's heading for disaster.

In his current unsettled state, this is the type of decision that he shouldn't be making.

ANd guess what, the "Big Loan"? You will have to co-sign for, because you are the WIFE. And part owner of the house. So, if there are no assets, there is no loan.

I encourage people to go into business ALL the time. But you have to go in to it EYES WIDE OPEN.

Your WH is currently thinking he will have XXX $ to do it, and he won't. And he certainly doesn't have the assets that he THINKS he has.

About the SF?

You feel it was "just SF" For you, yes. For WH, it was sooo much more.

And the stalking? Creepy? On some level yes. But just indicates to me that he wants it ALL. BUGS, kids, OW, fame, fortune and everything that goes with it. (sorry, paraphrasing Queen there)

Under Plan B, you will see more of it. And I would recommend a couple of other camera's/lights be installed that he doesn't know about. Gather a little more proof. I'm sure that at least once a week he has cruised your backyard checking out what was going on. And if you knew when he did it, you would see a co-relation between his direct positive interactions with you and his looking.

Because earlier on this thread, you caught him looking. And presumed that he thought you might be with someone else. It will KILL him to know that you might be. So, he keeps peeking. FIL has the kids, your alone and HE wants to make sure you are.

Might give him the justification to end it, LOOK at BUGS! She is doing....

What an idiot. ITs amazing what happens in our fog bound brains....

(((BUGS)))

LG

LG,

Staying with my plan is what is best for me, most definately.

You ar right on with the comments about the business. He does not/will not have the assets he 'thinks' he does.

I will admit to you all here,,, it was more than just SF for me,,,,I AM in love with my H still. However, as a protection mechinism, I am forcing myself to only give the interaction credit as SF.

It is the knowledge I have gained here that tells me that no matter my FEELINGS,,, the reality of it is that it wasn't about him loving me.

You say it was sooo much more than that for him? Do you mean that it was just a control or cake eating thing???

I know this may sound strange, but the 'stalking' does not really creep me out. It tells me that he is still more interested and connected than he wants to be.

He KNOWS I am not seeing anyone else, so he's not going to find any justificiation for his actions by checking up on me. He may tell himself that is what he is doing, but the truth is it is for his own interest.

Overall,,,you are right he wants it all


This is EXACTLY what is going on here. He is flying high on his own ego, and has been for some time now. He is going to CRASH. It's a question of when.

I will not be staying here long after I enter Plan B, so the security lights, etc won't be an issue for very long.

One of the things I talked with my family about this weekend was helping me move shortly after the holiday weekend.

DD and I will be moving in with my parents a couple of weeks from now. It will enable me to have the most effective Plan B.

Gotta run,,,,,,,,,,,

I'm just now catching up.





I agree with LG. This is more than just SF. He can get SF from the OW. He has missed SF with YOU....GOOD PLAN A has led to this, IMO.



Great comeback, Bugsy. I hadn't even read this BEFORE I typed WITH YOU above. Actually, what is true is that YOU are the one who has missed SF in general... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />



I don't necessarily agree. SF is an EN met in MARRIAGE and you are MARRIED to each other. You made LOVE DEPOSITS.



You added in AFFECTION.



But this was the RESULT OF YOUR PLAN, Bugsy!!! You WORKED THIS...




EXACTLY!!!

WOW....out of town a few days....and LOOK!?!

You are amazing!!

I'm just in awe of you....

Lexxx-

WOW - thanks

I don't know about the amazing part - I have just gotten so much great advice and knowledge from MB, that I just do my best everyday to work the Plan.

Welcome back. Hope your travels went well

Mimi- thx for the references back to meeting ENs.

I do think tha Plan A did play a role in him coming over the other night. I just want to remain cautious in my 'celebration'.


I did send Drac a text last night, but did not hear from him

When we spoke this am, I almost thought I was talking to my H - ALMOST. It felt like talking to H so much so, that as we were saying goodbye, I started to say I Love you!

While it is TRUE, I did not want it to be said right that minute. I will say it at the right time and place, as I have since this started.

I sent him a text earlier - flirty and fun. I did ask if he got the text last night.

I know I won't hear from him today. He is playing in a golf tournament for work. I have both kids tonite since he will be out late

We joked about the golf this am - he has NEVER played in his life. He is nervous, but his boss insisted he play.

Am trying to get caught up at work and am having a hard time concentrating. Between Drac and the death of DN, my brain is on overload.

Just going moment by moment for now, with the long term plans in the back of my mind.

BUGS:

About this:




I can give him a little assistance with my trusty five iron... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

And we would be NO WHERE near a golf course <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Keep on WOWING him!

LG

LG,

Oh yeah! I think the old 5 iron treatment might be just the thing!

Thanks for the offer! I may send him your way:)

I think I will come up with another text this afternoon using a golf reference ,,, there are WAY too many easy ones to use that can have a double meaning

Stroke
# of strokes
Club shaft
Club length
Balls
Tee it up
Ball wash
Par for the course
In the rough

And my favorite - hole in one
:-)

BUGS!

I would never stoop to using the time honored and trusted words of a great game like GOLF for such cheap and easy double meanings....

Because in GOLF, we always try to minimize strokes.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

You didn't get to drive the cart this time?

THAT would have made Drac CRAZY.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

LG

Y'all are TOO FUNNY..I can hardly read this without almost falling out of my seat...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

LG

Remember, Drac is new at this, so no telling how many strokes he will have today! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


Do I have to say it?

Ok, Ican't resist-
'I am talking about both ON and OFF the course!". He he!

This isn't our company tournament, that will be later this summer so Drac will have to put up with me buzzing around on the cart schmoozing with the customers.

Keep your head down, make a smooth easy follow thru, keep the club straight, and you will land it nicely!

Lord, I just love listening to golf announcers!