I want to clarify that I think BUGS should schedule an appt. with Steve for HERSELF.

Steve can help you with setting up PLAN B, Bugs, and with you giving him all of your SPECIFICS he will tell you if the time is EXACTLY right. He also may have a HUNCH about what went on with DRAC given his reaction to the call. If it were me, I would be dying to know Steve's take on it.

His advice to me SOMETIMES diverged from what was recommended by my LOVING SUPPORTERS here on the FORUM and I think he knows BEST...my opinion

Mimi, a STEVE HARLEY GROUPIE... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I just sat down at the gate in the airport and see it's been a busy am!

Thanks All!

INeed,,thanks for the Perfect start to my day!

Everyone else - sounds like we are all on the same page here! Ho is back, Drac wanting the drug, blaming Bugs for everything, he probably promised her a perfect lake trip w/my family for the 4th, she IS playing games, trying to push hard. No doubts there, even my Mom said this am that she is obviously back in the picture!

I want to have an apt w/S for MYSELF to discuss going to Plan B and to get the insights he may have that Mimi mentioned

Am going to call and see about it after this. I REALLY think that doing it upon my return Wed night is the right time

Lexxx,,great idea on the kid phone! YES, I will be keeping DSS as usual unless Drac pulls the plug on that. He won't if for no other reason than it gives him more free time with the HO without FIL having to keep DSS

It is all about the drug again now. He is DRAC totally again

As Pep said, time for him to do something in the light,,otherwise Bugs does not need to see him at all

FYI - I gave MYSEL a pedicure last night! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Steve's schedule and mine don't match up til next week.

Hmmm, not sure what to do right now.

My vote is for you to talk to Steve FIRST.

I don't think there's a need for you to RUSH into this.

You want to play it JUST RIGHT, IMO.

Steve has spoken to Drac and has a viewpoint on him which he can be helpful to you, I think.

Since Steve has so recently been involved, I would wait for the appointment.
Plus it gives Drac more time to ponder what Steve said.

Drac is balking. We expected that.
He's trying to get you to back down from your position!
He's blaming you and trying to make you responsible for messing up his "plans."
He's throwing a lil wayward spouse tantrum right now.
Because his affair is getting threatened from every angle.

Let it blow over. There's no rush for Plan B.
Talk to Steve next week, and methodically and carefully plan your next steps.

Lexx makes GREAT POINTS!!

Do a bit more PLAN A.

I would let him make more of the MOVES towards you at this point..coming more OUT into the LIGHT as Pep says...he remains ATTRACTED to you despite his efforts to pull away...

Mainly, don't let him PROVOKE you back into OLD BUGS..

He's TESTING Steve's viewpoint, being the MANLY MAN that he is, he wants to think that he's SMARTER than Steve..the PRIDE thing that Meggy is talking about is playing a part in this, too...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />these STUPID, INSANE, ALIEN WSes...SO ILLOGICAL and INCOMPREHENSIBLE...

I am on board w/waiting to talk to S before going dark

I just landed, and here is the convo I had with Drac prior to getting on the plane.

I called Drac with an excuse of things to ask him to ck on while I am gone. I was happy breezy bugs.

HE made a point to bring up 'about the lake trip, just so you know, I wasn't TRYING to take one of your days. It has never been a big deal about Wed or Thurs nights so I didn't think it would be. It is just the way this trip worked out.'

Bugs 'I appreciate that. I did not think you were intentionally trying to TAKE time away from me. And I appreciate your letting me know that to be sure.

The reason I brought it up was because you have said things many times that indicate you think I am making trouble or being difficult. In this situation, if you think about it, it would have been
VERY easy for me to do that. Yet I did not.

Your R with the kids is very important. YOUR hapiness is very important. I am willing to put your happiness and the kids ahead of myself, willingly and gladly. Your happiness is Very important to me. I put your happiness as a priority in my life "

He then moved on to the cemetary thing with "you know how my family is. YOU going and me not being there,, you know what they are going to do with that!"

Bugs "which is one of the reasons I offered for you to get the kids and go. I am not trying to infringe or cause any issues between you and your family

However, if you choose Not to take the kids to a family function, then I will. Several of them have asked that w/our situation, that the kids still see them and be involved.

I have assured them that they will. This is about the kids staying connected to and involved with your family. They have done a lot for the kids and the kids love them very much. Despite what WE may think or feel about some of them, the kids love them and need to see them.

I am sorry, I can not control what they think or what they say. However, if any of them tells you what I say, you will hear the Same Exact thing, and that is 'I do not want a D. You do. I think and know you are a Good man and a Good father. I love you and respect you, even though we do not agree on wanting a D. I tell them I am not perfect, there are things I should have done different, things I needed to change, things I have changed, and things I am continuing to change. I love you and want you as my H now and forever.

It is easy to say this each and every time, and I DO say it all of the time becuase it is TRUE'

Drac was quiet and said nothing.

Rather than wait or torture him into responding, I let him off the hook, by saying I had to get on the plane and I will call him tonight


I am interested in your opinions - but I think it indicates Plan A is fine for now????

Wow. That was great. Leaving him quiet and saying nothing. The man is most definately conflicted now. He keeps expecting Bitc&y Bugs and gets Sweet Bugs. His head must be spinning! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

We are lifting you up in prayer Bugsy and the LORD is with you and you are STAYING STRONG..not GIVING UP...as in INEED's SCRIPTURE FOR TODAY...

And Drac's RESPECT for you is BUILDING..because he can't wear you down....

For sure, PLAN A is FINE...for now...because you are handling this MARVELOUSLY...

AWESOME GODDESS POWER!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Thanks so Much for the lift up!

He has definately caught me and is holding me close --because there is NO WAY I could be doing this on my own!

Almost every time I talk to Drac, I am aware of the power around me, helping me as I almost always feel fairly calm. I know it blows MY mind!

Thanks all.

Now gotta get my rental car and hit the road
(Wearing my diva sunglasses, of course)

Later!

WELL, ALRIGHTY THEN!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

uh, mimi - it's mah-ve-lous-ly <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Ah, yes, you all look mah-ve-lous today! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />. Thanks Fernando!

Just ck'd into the hotel and am catching up with everyone. Going to drop by yhe bar for a beverage and then go to bed early

Am waiting to call the kids for a bit.

Am a little down, but not bad. Am feeling OK with doing Plan A til I talk to S next week.

Drac will not wear me down before then! B*tchy Bugs is on vacation. Must be frustrating for Drac not to be able to contact her!

Hope the Ho keeps pushing. She is only hurting herself!

Will ck back later

You go girl....

Still

Morning.

Spoke to Drac & the kids last night

Drac was friendly. We just chatted for a while. I told him I foind out something that upset me, I realized that my training goes through Thurs, not Wed.

Told him I went in the bathroom & cried and then went on w/my day. He asked why I cried.


I said because I won't see DD, DSS, or him for a week! I hate that!

He was quiet. So, I said well, it is what it is.

We then said our goodnights. That was it

So, it is going to be a long day in training all day!

Hope everyone has a good one

(((bugs)))

Its all still working on him.
Let it perculate!

You're awesome! When is your Steve appointment?

((((((((BUGS))))))))

Supporting you all the way! I'm so sorry Honey!

You are doing soooo well...I agree with Lexxy..it's still sitting with him...

B Still! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

BUGS:

HERE'S SOME ENCOURAGEMENT FOR THE ALONE TIME.

Hebrews 13:5 says "I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you."

The lord is always with us. He will make HIS presence known in our lonely hours so we can have courage for whatever lies ahead.

I know I have grown close enough that when I feel lonely and I ask the Lord to show his presence a warm feeling from the inside out comes on me, but on the outside I get goosebumps. Then I say thank's Lord, and it dissapears.

I always ask him to hug me when my daughter is gone from me. And you know what ? He DOES !!!!

Enjoy relaxing in the tub and enjoy the alone time. We are often so busy in our days to remember to take this.

Thanks INeed! Great stuff!

Drac had DD call ar 8:43 and leave a vm saying good night. I called back about an hour later and she was still up!

After talking to her Drac got on and says 'So, having a late night?'

I told him we had business dinner. He then proceeded to talk to me for over 30 minutes,,mostly work stuff. But boy did I lay it on so well about the GREAT things he doesn how smart he is, how I would never have thougt to do X, Y, or Z.

It kept him moving from one story to the next. He evn asked about MY work sitch and discussed it with me

He then tells me DD is spending the night at Aunt's house tomorrow so he can take DSS to a movie that DD can't see. And gave me a few other reasons. That's FINE, as long as that is what happens

He also told me he went back to the dr today (he said last night he was going back). They did a chest xray and he still has something showing up on one lung. They are sending xray to a specialist and he should know something Thurs

He 'just wanted to let me know in case they leave a message at the house, even though he gave them the cell phone'

He and kids are leaving Thurs at 5 for the lake. I asked where they r staying,, he told me and even described where it is to me, which is different. Before, it was as if I was asking for national security secrets. I asked him to send me the info via email and he said no problem

He said they needed to get to bed.

So, another 'decent' convo.

Gotta get to bed for an early start in the am

Nite all

Just have a second.

First, got email from my A, Drac and his A can not make the 9th and asked to continue until 16th.

Works for me, but funny that he just was complaining that this should all be done by now!

Second update, my appt w/Steve is next Thurs

Gotta run!