Today's Scripture

“When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown” Isaiah 43:2 (TLB).


Have you ever experienced something that truly tested your faith, your joy and your convictions? We're not talking about just having a bad day or having to deal with difficult people - but enduring an intense situation that rocks you to your very core. When many people face such soul-searching they let their happiness and joy turn into bitterness and anger. Make sure this doesn't happen to you. Don't give the evil one the victory by becoming an ineffective Christian due to lingering bitterness. Even if you're being tested, God has promised to remain faithful. He is all-powerful, and He can pull you out of your troubles at any moment. Choose to remain faithful and joyous despite your present circumstances.

A Prayer for Today

God, please help me to trust You and not give in to bitterness or anger, even in the middle of my trials. Thank You for the promise of Your never-failing love. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

INeed!

You should start a daily encouragement thread! I know your posts really help lift me up and they would help many others as well!

I so appreicate it!

Question to all - Do I ask DRAC what is up with the court delay?

Also, he has ditched DD off on the Aunt tonight 'supposedly' to take DSS to a movie.

Do I call him this evening even though she won't be there?

UGH. Hard to concentrate on work, and training, and this 'stuff' with Drac!

Any ideas as welcome as I am brain dead right now.

Headed to dinner. Will ck back later!

Maybe a little "wake-up call?"


I wouldn't ask him about it. Remember, you don't do divorce, your attorney does. If DRAC wants to tell you he will. In the meantime you're just sailing along, happy and upbeat. Taking it as it comes. Being a loving, loyal, happy, and carefree Bugs.

He'll never know what hit him when you go to Plan B.

Today's Scripture

“Cease striving, and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10 (NAS).

Psalm 46:10 is a great Scripture to pray daily. Turn to it and read it before you make any decision. You'll be amazed at the insight you get from waiting on God instead of striving to find the answers on your own. Don't always react on your first impulse - instead, think about what God would want from you and realize that He is in control. You'll be able to see His hand working in just about any situation when you take a step back and realize it's not your plan, but His. When you're absolutely confused, worried and don't have a clue what to do, relax for a minute and let God work. Don't let panic or worry guide your decisions when God is ready to help you.

A Prayer for Today

God, thank You for remaining in control even when I'm worried or stressed. Give me Your supernatural wisdom to make decisions that honor You and are for my good. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

It's not words of encouragement from me, but I send what God puts on my heart. Normally it's encouragement that HE has given me that I feel could help you all as well.

It's funny, because when this first happened to me, I prayed that God would take over my life, to lift the burden from me and carry me through this.

I also prayed that he would send more christians to me, and give me a chance to be able to help others.

This site was an answered prayer for me.

Bugs:

Remember Drac is in the FOG right now. He will say and do things that the "Taker" wants. He wants you to fight with him. He is being Selfish and wants only his way.

As "Givers" we are to kindof brush off what they say to us, and to not take it personally. He is talking about the divorce because he knows it will hurt you inside, and when they are hurting they want us to hurt as well.

Don't give into the taker. Don't ask him about the divorce. You don't want it, don't push him toward it. Brush it off and talk about something else.

Of course, I know this is easier said than done, because I struggle with this myself. I am following the Love busters book that I'm 3/4 of way through. So far it seems like it's helping a little bit.

Focus on God instead of Drac and watch it become easier to do. When I go to answer my husband, I ask myself 2 questions.

1. What I'm about to say will it get me closer or
further away from my goal of reconciliation.

2. If my husband were God would I be saying or
doing what I'm about to do.

This has saved me from alot of bad things.

Good luck today....and God Bless you...

INeed,

Girl, you ARE getting this So well! Thanks for your post, you are right on target!

I sent Drac a couple of messages last night, but he did not respond.

However he did call this am asking if everything was ok. I said 'it's great! I was just looking to chat.'.

Despite what he told me and how he tried to frame how his time was spent, you can bet it was a HO night. Even if it wasn't, he did not call me back as a sign thst HE is in control

Whatever.

He spent a lot of time telling me about his work stuff as usual.

He asked again what time I will be getting back, which I s Unusual.

They are leaving early evening for the lake and he said he'd call when they get on the road

Well, off to training class!

Based on conversation w/Aunts today sounds like OW may have been w/Drac in hometown and maybe even with kids last night for a brief amount of time!

Ugh

Bugs:

You need to talk to your DD ASAP don't cha?

ETA: Do you need to be concerned about what happens at the "lake"? He was sounding kinda squirrely about that.

I talked to her prior to finding out info,,have confirmed that the possible OW siting was AFTER DD was at the Aunt's house.

Drac had come back much later to drop off clothes for DD so he likely picked up the Ho after dropping DD

Yep, squirrly in the lake thing for sure. I will only be able to verify later today.

will be following up to confirm she is NOT at the lake, do not worry!

GOOD ON THE DETECTIVE WORK, BUGSY!!!

Feel a bit bad that I have had to get 'good' at it!

Have had a talk w/myself to remind me that Drac is Drac. The glimpses of H were just glimpses. The talk of the breakup w/the Ho was typical and that he will contibue to lie to me

Hardest part is wondering WHY the continued lies?

Because he is concerned w/D issues?

Because he does somewhere/somehow care for me?

He doesn't like being seen as the 'bad guy' and knows if it gets out that they are seeing each other again he has to face that again?

I've never been able to be a BIG FAN of the "GLIMPSES OF H" viewpoint. From the very beginning of my suspicion of an A and D-DAY, my H was like DRAC. So for ME, I didn't see MY REAL HUSBAND..fully HIM until 6 months after WITHDRAWAL...and he wasn't NORMAL until a YEAR LATER..still had a bit of FOGGINESS...

When he was WAYWARD, my H could SEEM as sincere as can be about LOVING me, hang up the phone from talking to ME and then call HER..HE WANTED BOTH OF US..and would have kept it that way for as long as possible...It's called wanting to HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO...I met some NEEDS and she met OTHERS...or moreso, towards the end, he was ADDICTED to HER..afraid almost it seemed to let go...SOOOOOO



He lies because he is a WS..wanting both YOU (as his friend) AND the HO for whatever reason...

And, of course, he still CARES for you...

CAKE EATER is what he is NOW...

Mimi,

I don't see Drac as any different than your FWH. When I say glimpses, I Am refering to a behavior, a conversation, a look, that is the same as BEFORE the A

Notice I use the Singular,, as these things have yet to travel in pairs, let along string together for any measurable changes!

Cake eating for sure. Back to the addiction (for whatever reason)

Talked to kids as they were hitting the road for the lake. I know the HO was not with them in the car. I will be able to verify here whereabouts if I ever get a flight home tonight

Drac got on the phone and tried to hurry me off! I didn't let him, but did so in a Fun way.

I just said jokingly in Breezy Bugs voice ,'oh so you are in a rush to be done with me are you?'

He replie ' well, I don't know what more to say other than we are on the road'

Bugs 'well we usually talk about how your day went, but if you are in such a hurry, we'll skip for now. '

I went on to ask him to call when they get there so I do not worry.

Drac 'we will do that. The ONLY reason we won't is if I don't have cell service'

Bugs 'well if the place you said you are staying is where I am picturing it, you probably will. If for some reason you don't, please call me collect from the resort phone. I will really appreciate it if you would do that for me'

Drac 'no problem! I absolutely will do that.

He did rush off the phone, after that. I am pretty sure another call tried to beep in while I as on withDSS. He HAD to ck that - can't keep the HO waiting you know!

Hope to board the plane soon.

Hoping MORE the she is home so it will save me a 4 hour road trip to go get DD tomorrow night! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Anyone have any thoughts on Drac pushing back court date? Just curious.

Til later!

((BUGS)))

Quote for the Day

The dark moments of our life will only last so long as is
necessary for God to accomplish his purpose in us.

Scripture for the Day:

2 Corinthians chapter one

2: Grace be to you and peace from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ.
3: Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
4: Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
5: For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.
6: And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation.
7: And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation.


We are going through these rough times so that God can strenghten us to be able to help others.

I thank you bugs....you have been able to help me so far, and I am trying to help others just coming on as well. I can't help as much as you, but one day we can all pass on our comfort from God.

Hope this put a smile on your face.

Here's a hug from me (((( Bugs )))) ....

God bless...

Bugs,
I am a long time lurker, but on a regular basis since summer break started, I'm a teacher. This is only my 3rd post. I feel compelled to post to you. I spent like 3 and a half hours yesterday reading this entire thread. I have got to tell you how much I admire your strength and determination to save your marriage. I doubt that I could Plan A for so long & take the [email]cr@p[/email] that Drac has dished out. I will be very interested to see what S tells you. You must be so incredibly confused on what to do, because I have found myself thinking "she should stay in plan A, no she needs to do Plan B, ASAP".. I have changed my mind 100 times about your sitch. It seems that as soon as you start thinking "OK, PLan B is near", Drac gives you a glimmer of hope, a small snip of H. And then back again he goes to be Drac again. My God, I would have wanted to just kill him by now. He has been cake eating like crazy. I understand why you are so hesitant to do Plan B. It's the last ditch effort, it's the final straw. He will come back or he will continue on with the D. What a tough sitch. You know that if you stay in Plan A, you still have one more trick up your sleeve before the end of the road, PLan B. But, then again, Plan B could be the answer. You know what they say, "you don't what you go, till it's gone".

I just don't know if I would ever have the courage and strength to go on with Plan A for so long. This being said, "What about Bugs? What does Bugs deserve as a mother, wife, woman, loving human being". You obviously have sooo much love to give and stupid Drac doesn't even appreciate a snipet of it.

BTW, how old is Drac? Is this his 2nd marriage?

INeed,

Thanks for the daily dose of inspiration! I Do really love them!

And thanks for the <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> !

Jaded,

Thanks for checking in. Yes, as the thread title says this has been quite the rollercoaster ride!

I am certain Plan B is ready to tee off after next Thurs w/Steve. And I am Ok with that. It will be hard but it is the only card left to play.

Glad to see you are in recovery! That is an inspiration to me!

I truly am at the point that this is for God to work through in His way and in His time

I know He sent me to MB to help me do my part of the plan. From there, it belongs to Him. He will put me where I am meant to be for His glory and plan.

I appreciate the time you spent reading my story and for the kind words.

BTW- Drac will be 33 on the 12th of this month. 2nd marrriage. His first at 18 for less than a year. DSS is product of that.

My update -

Drac called last night to let me know they were still over an hour away from destination.

I was (to his surprise) STILL at the airport, having landed and trying to find my bag that is currently LOST!

He was pretty upbeat and chatty. We were disconnected. I called him back when I headed to the parking lot (bagless). Chatted again, lost signal, HE called me back, and then lost signal again

He did not call when they arrived as he promised.

He called this am and says 'did you not go home last night?'

I said yes, I went home. He then says 'so you are out and about already?

I replied, 'I am at work'

He forgot it was Fri not Sat. We joked for a minute about that and then I talked to the kids

He got back on. When I asked about info on where they are staying, he said he sent Tm yesterday. I never go it. He said he'd send again

Also said his phone was dead and had to leave in the car to charge, which is why he did not call last night. FUNNY, everyone else on the trip has a cell phone. Were they ALL dead??

Whatever.

He was pretty friendly and nice.

It just hurts that my family is having a great time without me!!

Gotta run. Lots to catch up on today.

BTW - when Drac's A called my A the other day, he & Drac had already rescheduled the court date without input from her or me!

Hi, Bugs, just getting catch up...I really don't understand him...I mean does he really think that you are going to remind "friends" with him, should the D go through?

Bugsy, have you asked him that yet? Many INQUIRING minds here would LOVE to hear his answer... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I think you need to start making this CLEAR..face to face..before the PLAN B LETTER...so he will KNOW that PLAN B is PRACTICE TIME for him... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />..from me to Drac...

I'm recalling how this FREAKED my then WH out when I told him..Poor baby said: "You mean you won't be my friend?"...NOPE...NO WAY...WE WILL BE FINISHED..was my answer...

Bugs,
Yes, we are now in recovery, but it's been and still continues to be a long tough road. I was basically in Plan A for most of the time we were seperated. My situation was different b/c OW was also married. As soon as I finally exposed(not till dday2, stupid me) that the dynamics changed b/c she now had to face consequences. She for whatever reason(fear, obligation, or just maybe she really figured out the A was a mistake) is still with her H. So,I still wonder if that's the main reason my H was willing to work it out w/me. I guess he had time to withdrawl over the months we were seperated, I was doing Plan A, but he was still in that entitlement mode for most of the time. Everything was my fault etc.... It wasn't until I said, "You know what? You don't want to go to counseling. You don't want to give up the project at her workplace (he's a proj. mnger for the school system, she's the little ****** nurse at this particular school), you don't want to send her a goodbye letter etc... "We have absolutely nothing left to discuss". I planned B'd him for a few days and then he called me to say he'd do the counseling. We started that, a few more lies occured and I said,"if you work at that project, I love you, but I'm sorry, not only can I not be M to you, I cannot have any kind of R with you. Project finally gone in May. Finally,I'm starting to feel some normalsy again, but it's still a roller coaster of emotion for me.
Gotta run, I'll finish later.