PM

Thanks. I hope it has the desired effect.

Wish I had more of the 2 of us together, but as I was usually the one taking the pics, I am not IN a lot of them.

Bugs:

The Photo Book thing was explored at length on the original LilSis Thread.

She explored it at the same time as nearing the end of Plan A, I believe.

Just a Thought for more info.

Remember, the Ho is the only refuge now.

He can step out into the light with you, but he will always be in the dark, with HO.

OK?

HO is kissing his butt now, but will stop soon. Then you look so much more attractive!

LG

I think the "photo" idea resonates with BS, cuz they think "oh wow he/she will look at these pictures and remember all the good times".

LG; you were a WS who didn't intend on leaving your marriage so you may have gotten a gift like this and appreciated it -- because it wasn't just your past but your future also.

For those of us who have these plans of divorcing to go be with the other person; I have to tell you these gifts are not well received. I felt manipulated. And the picture and frame went straight into a drawer. So if I needed to put it up I could -- but I had no desire to look at a picture of me and BH together. Family pictures made me uncomfortable. Putting that into the face of a WS might not be received the way you imagine.

I knew I was hurting all of those people. I didn't need a not-so-subtle reminder of it....

Yes, that IS the essence of the debate on the pics.

Taking your input into account, plus the info from Steve, AND the actual statement from Drac - the feeling of Manipulation is the likely response from Drac.

That being said, Lexxxy, once you passed through that initial anger and feeling of manipulation,,,,was it something that stuck with you? Was it something you thought about, even if you did not LOOK at the pic?

Lexx:

That's why I pointed out that this had been discussed on the LilSis thread.

And for the record, our marriage album is still in the attic. W put it there. Do not know when it might come back.

She was looking at DS's albums with DS the other night, first time in a while. They are still in the living room on the same shelf that Marriage album was on.

I do not really think that the album works in this case anyway.

LG

Stuck with me? I guess in the sense that I didn't like it.
I never liked it.

My BH gave me a picture frame with a picture of "us" that I was supposed to put on my desk. Needless to say -- it went in a drawer, and I hated looking at it. I have no idea where it is anymore, I'm pretty sure I threw it away.

The only emotion it ever gave me was annoyance.

And I don't mean to discourage you.
In my case my BH had done nothing in the way of romantic gestures in YEARS. For him to do this suddenly was extremely suspicious and manipulative (to me.)

Lexxxy,

I appreciate your honesty!

Scripture of the Day:

"Strength and stability are born in the storms of adversity. Your reaction and response to trouble during the hours of your suffering will determine the extent to which God can effectively use your life for His glory."

God loved the way you reacted at the golf outing. You were a shining example of what he wants us to do.


I also needed to give you this one as well:

"He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted" (Isaiah 53:2-4).

We are to treat our spouses as if they were Christ like. This scripture to me made it seem more visible. There is nothing in our husbands that we do desire right now, they are men of sorrows with tons of suffering because of the evil influence and the blinders that Satan has so desired to put on their eyes. They are carrying our sorrows whether they want to admit it or not, because of the Guilt that God has placed in their hearts. Even through these tough times, we can still see that our husbands do take after Christ, and we must remind them of Christ's Love.

Remember Love is patient and is kind; love doesn't envy. Love doesn't brag, is not proud.

The love of God, and of our neighbour for God's sake, is patient toward, all men. It, suffers all the weakness, ignorance, errors, and infirmities of the children of God; all the malice and wickedness of the children of the world: and all this, not only for a time, but to the end. And in every step toward overcoming evil with good, it is kind, soft, mild, benign. It inspires the sufferer at once with the most amiable sweetness, and the most fervent and tender affection. Love acteth not rashly - Does not hastily condemn any one; never passes a severe sentence on a slight or sudden view of things. Nor does it ever act or behave in a violent, headstrong, or precipitate manner. Is not puffed up - Yea, humbles the soul to the dust.

You are in the process of softening Dracs Heart !! Keep up the great work !!!!



Prayer for today:

Dear heavenly father, we just ask you to open the eyes of Bill and Drac and soften their hearts. We pray that both Bill and Drac will suddenly be obedient to your voice Lord, and we pray that you can allow them to suddenly come to their senses and to make them want to follow you.

Lord, we also pray that you can enable us to have positive communication with our husbands. Most of all we pray that you might mold Bugs and Ineed into the christian women that you need them to be. Show them lord what needs changed in their lives, and show them how they can be a better servant toward you.

This we ask through Jesus name as we pray, amen.

INeed,

What more can I say than, Thank You. My prayers are with you,too

Have a great day!

Morning everyone!

Last night I picked up both kids from the sitter's. As I had not heard from Drac by 6:30, I called him to find out what time he was picking up DSS,,,, simply saying I wanted to find out what I needed to do in regards to dinner. I called BOTH his personal and work cell phones.

25 minutes later he calls back! UGGH! Said he was at his friend R's, dropping something off, had left his phone in the car, but was on his way. Asked if I'd made DSS dinner yet??!! I told him no, I was waiting to hear from him. Obviously he it either doesn't occur to him OR he just doesn't care about how disrespectful that is to me. How convenient for him to treat me as his Babysitter OR Wife at times like this that is convenient for him! Drives me crazy!

So, he gets there while DD and I are playing Legos on the floor. I eventually get up off the floor. DD has me give her a piggyback ride into the kitchen where Drac is getting his mail. Not a problem for Goddess Bugs who is then able to display some nice "assets"! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
DD then comments how my shirt shows my tummy a bit,,,,, FORCING Drac to notice!! God Love Her!

DSS is finishing something up on a game in his room, so Drac sits on the arm of the couch talking to me. Says something about how HORRIBLE it is to be STUCK in the state where he is working,,, it's draining the life out of him,,,,,he'll never escape,,,, and on and on with the negative comments in a 1/2 joking way.

Now remember - - This is where WE bought land to build our Dream House. This is the work location HE WANTED more than anything!!

I just said "wow, that's really nice. So, it's pretty hard there?"

Drac "It's the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with."

Bugs says something about him being up for the challenge,,, usual supporting comments. What I WANTED to say, but didn't, was "Well, Drac, makes you think more about how you should be careful what you wish for, doesn't it?"

So, he proceeds to tell me about the issues he is having there. He has new guys starting this week & is bringing one of them to the officer where I work on Friday to train with people here. Wonder if he'll even bother to come see me?

Then, he has the NERVE to ask ME when the reschedule court date is next week!!! I told him, "It's whenever you & your A set it"
He threw out a few dates, and I just said "I don't know for sure"

That about wrapped it up,,, I made sure to stand by the door as he walked out and give him a nice rub on the back. Based on his mood, it wasn't the time to talk about his bday plans.

DD is feeling better, but having the nighttime fever. So, I let her snuggle in bed with me again. She rolls over and says "I really Miss the OLD DAYS. With Daddy on this side, Mommy over here, and a smashed DD in the middle of the sandwich" We talked about it for a while,,, she even said she wants that MORE than she wants a pony. A pony is the ULTIMATE wish she's always had. We talked about hos it is OK for her to tell Daddy that is her wish. I tried not to make a big deal about it, to be supportive, but not give her false hopes. I just wanted her to feel ok to share her feelings with me AND with Drac.


Gotta prepare for a meeting today with my boss and a large customer. Will ck a few threads and be back later!

Hi, Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and have been trying to catch up on everyone...

I think that you did a great job with DD in regards to letting her know that she can share with her dad too!

(((BUGS)))

Personally, I hated it when POWS was so negative...I got to the point that I didn't want to talk to him anymore b/c it was negative all the time...not the same with you but it's so easy to see their frame of mind sometimes...

He knows when the date is.

That was just his way of bringing it up.

Expect that at every interaction with you he will say one thing about divorce/custody/classes etc.

He thinks by bringing it up often, it is reinforcing the inevitability and will make you more accepting of it. he's trying to force you to adjust to it.

Hey Rin, welcome back!

I hope DD does tell Drac. He thinks I either make this stuff up or coax the kids into saying it! UGH! Maybe he will listen if it comes straight from her? Maybe not.

All I can do is assure her the best I can.

She had asked me if I'd ever had a date, then wanted to know the names of every 'boy' I had a date with. I gave her a list and ended with Daddy.

She says 'And now we're stuck with this mess!'. I laughed out loud. How smart is she?

Lexxxy,

To quote Pep EGG-ZACT-LEE!

Dumb WS! Just refuses to see that it is NOT working!

Oh, PBL delivery can't get here fast enough. I can't wait to see how much difference it makes when his avoidance of me is not at HIS leisure, but REQUIRED by ME!

How beautiful is that! They are soo wonderful! LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

And thank you!

Drac called earlier while I was in a meeting. I finally called him back a couple of hours later and just said I was returning his call.

He mentions a sports event coming up in our area that he knows my Mom loves. Says he has tickets to the executive tent, and that he "will be at Sturgis" that weekend, would I want the tickets.

After I fell off my chair, I said, yes, that would be great.

He added that he also has 2 parking passes to go with the tickets. I said, "Super, thanks a lot"

Now,,,, before I got myself all excited about him being nice, I reminded myself of 2 things.

1. He was able to use this as his way of letting me know he is going on the BIKER weekend (and yes, he's been before and I have seen pictures of what goes on there. Scary!)

2. I am sure he is "buttering me up" prior to court on Monday.

I don't know yet if he has recv'd my counter offer. I left a message earlier from my A and haven't heard back from her yet. Will be interested to know if he has that info yet or not.

Either way, I guess he did not HAVE to offer me those tickets and it was a nice gesture.

I am still brushing off the dirt and nursing my arm from the fall!

BUGS:

"brushing off the dirt"

Gosh, I thought you had a nicer office than that! A dirt floor, huh?

It was nice of him to offer you the tickets that he was going to use on HO.

But he has a better place for her.

Try to loosen the sissy bar on his new motorcycle, ok?

OOPS, HO slime on the highway!

Can't wait for Tuesday.

Although, I think the PBL would be nice to deliver for his birthday....

LG

LG,

Someday I will tell you more about the business I am in! Let's just say you may be surprised!

OUCH on the having somewhere better to take the Ho!!

So many things I can think to say, but will let the HO Slime comment suffice! Nice one!

Yes, PBL for the birthday would be a nice touch. Am thinking that my 'counter offer' will be almost as good of a gift!

I need to get those tickets from him first! LOL!

Bugs:

"Someday I will tell you more about the business I am in! Let's just say you may be surprised!"

You did say you were in sales.....

Don't tell me your selling dirt!

LG

Oh, Biker weekend...I've been to a couple...interesting to know that Drac "enjoys" those too!

Ho trash! I can't let it slide, sorry! I've seen some "trash" at these, she'll fit right in if she goes!

Good to hear that you are in great spirits! It has been a beautiful DAY! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />