yes
i am proudly taking prozac with out it i would probably be in jail for murder

Maybe your dosage needs to be increased?

Does your doctor know you're not sleeping?

~ Marsh

Okay, so you have the meds to help. Consider exercise to deal with not sleeping. Then develop your plan. Read all about Plan A. This stuff is miserable at first, but if you realize that he is chasing a fantasy, and don't take it personally (I know, so hard), it will help.

I forget the statistics on how long affairs last, but the great majority of them are over in under a year. Plan A needs to go from 3 to 6 months, and then there is Plan B.

I would speak to your daughter about counseling and see if she would go, especially family counseling. She is at an extremely difficult age to be going through all this.

yes
she prescribe a low dosge sleeping pill
i work nights so it is extra hard for me to go to sleep as well. i have tried to talk to my daughter about going and talking to someone about it and she said she wouldnt feel comfortable so i didnt push the issue

Working opposite shifts is not recommended. We see so many marriages in trouble here because of that.

i always have worked the night shift. i leave at midnight and get off at 8am. he is asleep by 1030pm most of the time he dont get up till 9am
he is self employed so he really dont punch a time clock and i carry the health insurance thru my work.

The hours aren't good for a marriage. It is suggested that a couple spend 15 hours a week doing fun things together. Did you do that?

Is your daughter home by herself at night?

oh the weekends we always did things actually thru out the week because i would be up by the time he would get off of work and have dinner done or we would go out to eat. we always spent time together. if we didnt go anywhere we were always together in the family room watching tv or a movie.
no my daughter is not by herself my mom is with her at night

we are into collecting antiques so we would spend most of the day on sunday going to flea markets or antique shows. saturday nights we would try to do something with our daughter as a movie or going out to eat or something. then we used to get up early on sundays and do our thing with the fleamarkets.
he told me that this will the first year with out a vacation. because i would always plan the trips and our activities while we are there.he said he cant afford to take her and 4 kids on vacation. i said well that is one of the things you have to think about it is a package deal. she keeps pushing him about divorcing me i guess he broke down and told her he would not divorce me he still has strong feelings for me. that was told to me by my sister in law because i guess she called her crying saying that she cant change him and he dont want to marry her. my sister law told her she didnt want in it. that she is a very good friend of mine and she didnt want to hear her crying about the situation because she has no sympathy for her!!!
i thought it was funny.

update
well we talked today like we always do. i just told him sometimes that i feel that he is getting emotional support from me and getting phyiscal support from her. we was arguing or anything like that.i just told him that i just stay confused because one week you say you are in love with me and the next he is confused again. i have tried to talk to him about going to a therapist just for himself and so he know what is going on with in him. then he told me he didnt want me to feel like that. he does love me but he cant leave her and he has feelings for her not the same. i told him that he was getting lust and love confused. i told him i think you lust for her not love her. you dont have a special connection with her like me. you can tell me anything can you do that with her without an fight? he said no. i said excatly because the friendship and the bonding is not there. i got emotional and told him that i had to go and i will talk to him later. do you think i am doing the right thing by continuing talking to him and giving him emotional support when he still goes home to her?

You need to be in Plan A for awhile. So continue giving him emotional support.

However, trying to explain love/lust, etc to him is like explaining to a heroin addict why heroin is bad. It is completely useless.

he always asks me what are you going to do this weekend? i say the same thing nothing. why? he says just wondering. then i always say what are you doing? he says nothing. then we always end up in a conversion about the movies we want to go see. but nothing comes from it. i am scared to keep pressuring him that i will chase him off then i think maybe i should do more. any suggestions?

Plan to do things - get out and go places, ask his advice about things. Slowly show him that you are having a good life and he can still join you.

i do ask him. just for instances last weekend my daughter and i went to chuck e cheese. i know she is almost 16 but we go and enjoy ourselves we always have. well she called him and asked him if he wanted to go and first he said he would love too and then a minute later he calls back and says he better not. he called me about 3 times that day and ask if i wanted him to come over i said yeah but you know our daughter is not here she is babysitting he said oh !
he said well i can still come over if you want i said i dont care i enjoy spending time with you. well he ended up chickening out of it. but i dont know if he was imply to come over for us to be together or to have sex. which i am not one for booty calls and i dont want to be treated like the mistress when i am the wife. i just feel like about to explode!

just in:
i had to text him the confirmation number for the house payment(paid it online ) he had gave me the money. (this is for the house he is living in) she recieves the text and she sent one back saying that they thanked me. then the next thing i know he is calling me and saying that he is sorry about the comment on the text. he was in the shower when the message came thru and she read it. i could hear her in the back ground yelling and complaining on why would he let her to the payment and he told her that he wanted to make sure it was done correctly and he knows that i can do that. i told him i didnt mean to start a fight ( yeah right i love it) but i know he would need the confirmation number on the payment. he said he knew that i did that as a favor to him. and he told her from now on to leave his phone alone. she told him that she cant trust him and she feels she has every right to look at his phone!!!
so i hope that this started something between them. and he will see her what she really is.

Don't worry about it - there will be lots of trouble in paradise. Just keep doing some fun things. Figure out things that he loves to do and invite him. If he doesn't come, you go do it.

Several people here will tell you to go ahead and have sex, as usually that is one of a man's most important emotional needs, but I ALWAYS advise against it. Who knows what he could have contracted from his skanky mistress? We have had a few folks here who got an STD from their spouse, and one man whose wife DIED of AIDS, and she was nurse, and should have known better.

oh i refuse to have sex unless she is out of the picture completely and that i know everything is okay. i will love to kiss him but i am scared i will be leading myself up for disappointment. i think that is as intimate as sex. i could have kissed him a couple weeks ago but i dodged it. i think now maybe i should have.

the strangest thing has happened:
my daughter has deceided to go see her dad at his house. which i really dont understand because all she has done as said that she dont want to be around the OW and her kids. i dont have a problem with her seeing her dad. i am just worried that she is going to be hurt and it might push their relationship further apart( my husband and my daughter)
i ask her why all of a sudden did she wanted go over there. she said that she feels that her dad is not going to leave this woman and she misses her dad and she will have to learn to put up with the OW for now.
i didnt let her see me but i just broked down and cried. i feel that the OW is getting everything she wants by jess coming over there and now he has no business at our house. dont get me wrong i would never keep our daughter from him. i want them to spend time together. now i feel that this will be harder for us to reconcile because we wont be seeing each other as much.
am i wrong for feeling like this?

my daughter just called she wants to know if she can stay the night this weekend at her dads. i told her we need to talk about it more. i dont want her to rush things. then she started having an attitude towards me about she is at her dads house not now where else and why would we have to talk about it she should be the one to decided whether or not she wants to stay. and it was like she was a totally different being. so now if i dont let her stay then i am the bad person. it seems like i cant win for losing. any suggestions?

This is very typical. Teens especially hate what their parent is doing, but also want their place as daddy's girl.

There are differing opinions here. Some folks say not to let kids spend the night when a parent is "living in sin".
Others let them.

I know it hurts, but she is NORMAL.

The problem I've noticed is that the infidels want their affair to be legitimized, and so go overboard catering to a teen (to gain approval). That is not good for the child.

Is your daughter usually a good girl, with no discipline problems or problems in school?