W said paperwork was just disclosure for her consultation but I do not believe it, As usual angry about snooping.

I have an appt. w/ atty on Tues and have called others but it seems when I say I am only looking to protect myself they seem to lose interest.

I cannot and will not file even though I am feeling like my love is dying but I am still working on myself to be a strong capable person for my kids and in the future whomever I am involved with.

My fear is her bleeding me completely dry as the only proof of her A is some cell phone records, an internet search for his address by her in Oct. - An undated pic of her car in the driveway. Other than that it is all speculation even though I know something happened.

I asked for monetary assistance from her since we are not really living like H and W - She scoffed at first but I mentioned that w/ all I am paying if she did not agree to help I would only write a check for my half or a little more b/c of the kids for the mortgage.

She agreed to give me 100.00 on my off pay weeks, And 50.00 on my pay weeks - Then last night when I asked if she had the money - She said Fri. I mentioned I really could use it and she went out and came back and gave me 80.00 said the dog and cats need shots - Dog needs license renewal.

I dont know where her head is at - I mentioned if she was planning something to please let me know - I dont want the floor to drop out on the kids at the last moment.

Also she got a piano for free in mid Jan. and paid to have it delievered.

My questions would be, Why would she think that she would be able to afford the house, util etc w/o raking me over the coals - Why would she get a piano if she had to move to an apt, I can understand the pet shots for now but it would cost her so much extra money to try to keep just cats in an apt.

Also her car has over 150,000 mi - And she generally just drives it hasn't been having oil changed - She really seems like she is out there right now.

I made dinner last night, took care of the laundry including hers, did the dishes this morning - Other than finance talks and S or D papers I have been calm and collected - Fun interactions w/ kids and sober!

I really could use some advice, I called an atty and he returned my call but I am unsure if I may be comfortable w/ him.

I am not sure right now, I am not to the place where I want to initiate anything, He sounds like he wants me to initiate and all I want to be able to do is respond until if/when I do get to the point where I really want out.

I know I need to keep working om myself as an individual but my feelings are so not ready to pull the plug on this M just yet - If my W is done with it then there is noting I can do but I cant say w/ 100% certainty that I have nothing left.

I really have been honest w/ all who have answered my posts please I feel like I have alienated people here, Ever since I found MB and spoke w/ Dr. Harley on his radio show I have really tried to put my best foot forward and sometimes I have failed - But I have in many ways feel that I have made strides from who I was 6 mths ago.

He makes money by you initiating... do not do it.

I would again suggest to you that you hire a PI to find out what wife is really up to.

You have not alienated me in any way. One thing I would suggest though is that the tone of your posts does come across as a bit defensive. Realize that while none of us here is an expert... we are all trying to help... please remember to take it all as such.

Yes, many attorneys will lose interest unless they think they are going to make money. Afterall it is a job for them. Rather than go in for a free consultation... consider calling a lawyer and let him know that you would like to ire him for one hour to just give you advice.

And as far as speaking to Dr. H... perhaps a call to him or to a marriage friendly counselor is in order.

Lastly... I would suggest changing the title of your thread to something asking for help from some of the MB veterans here. While I will try and always give you what I believe to be very sound advice... it is also nice to have other voices join in.

Have a great day.

MEDC

Thank you and to all I am sorry if I come across any other way than truly contrite and sincere, I am and have been feeling very hurt, vulnerable, alone, scared, sorry and remorseful.

I came here in Dec. and received much advice and sometimes I guess I half arsed it - I have let the A consume me until early Jan. and realized I needed much more help that doing things alone or advice from here - I have felt great comfort here from so many people - Especially the though love that has come with it.

Feel I have been brutally honest and it pains me sometimes to read my words and all I have contributed to this mess.

I guess the defensivness is something I did not see as well until it was pointed out.

I understand about the atty - Scared as to the cost of a PI b/c I am not sure what is going on anymore if anything.

How do you change the title of a thread and also link my old stich to this one.

Please everyone forgive me as I need the help, guidance and wisdom of all and am willing to hear the things about me that people really feel - I can take it believe me I beat myself up a lot over this.

Thanks Again All

Just met w/ a lawyer, He wanted me to commit to smething today, Said that W's lawyer probably told her not to say anything.

Told me to leave the A alone, no real discussions everything to protect me right now - It seems like the paperwork I saw that W had were things that may be given when an atty is retained not just consultation.

Dont know what to do, Asked what the difference is if I only respond to hers - He said he would rather be one to start but I expected that.

Told me also that she most probably cannot ask for alimony w/ the money she makes, we would have to sell the house and split the loss - Our 401ks are close so that would be a wash.

Cannot make me pay for marital residence which is good for me but hate it that the kids have to dragged into this.

I really wouldn't fight custody at this point - With my past issues it would be hard for me to do that to them as they know nothing of the A.

He said the A only comes into effect when seeking custody, Child support would be dependent on how much time I spend w/ them - This really sucks if I would have known all this I would have worked harder to make it a stronger M and not cause all this emotional drama.

I hated one thing he said - "Sure it will be tough on the kids, But they'll get through it" Cmon how do 2 innocent people make it through this.

What would any of you do? Would you wait to respond? To see if she is only "piddling w/ papers"

I know I have been unsure the last couple of days but it still makes sense to me - to keep trying for everyone.

Sure it will take a lot of hard work but the payoff would be greater!

Thanks Again for standing by me - I know sometimes I could have distanced people here but have always wanted to be as truthful as I could.

Dg, before I jump into ur thread, as I was touched by these words, I need u to answer the following questions for me.

1. Are u willing to get out of ur own fog? I see that the fog is thick in ur case.
2. Are u willing 2 MAN UP?
3. Are u willing 2 LISTEN?

Venting is good. I am just not into it 2 much. I await ur answers. Thanx.

Thank You!

1)I really have been working to get out of my fog, I spent too much time on the A instead of a true Plan A

2)Please explain a little more so I can answer this I feel sill asking it if it is obvious to others.

I am really truly willing to listen, Seeing an atty who is only looking to add to his bank acct and telling me my children will get through stung deep.

Its been a few days and feeling more like it is going to end although I do not know how soon.

W says the papers are nothing, Found an email to Sprint from early Jan when I truly messed everything up saying that my "soon to be ex husband" is trying to gain access to her cell phone.

Between this, her distant demeanor, her frugality w/ purchases and the papers I found,living like we are separated already. The other day I asked about one of the cats and she replied that the cat was in her room b/f catching herself saying in the bedroom.

Other than interactions needed with the kids we barely talk, I have tried to make things as easy as I can for her to relate. Quiet tone, positive body posture, Although maybe she does view me right now as a doormat also.

Dont know what she is planning - I wish she would at least have the decency to let me know for my own good and the fact that we can tell the kids together and make it as easy as possible instead of waiting til the last minute.

I know we struggled a lot through the years but feel I dont even know her anymore, Even though I was told by the lawyer I saw not to say anything I brought it up last night and told her that the atty. told me to file and I dont want to.

Also mentioned that he said to me that her atty. probably told her not to say anything but I couldn't be like that and if she really was planning something to at least tell me - I would understand - Hurt but I would understand.

If you feel that she "might" be seeing you as a doormat right now... then she most likely is.

Have you given any consideration to the private investigator? You cannot fight a good fight without knowing your enemy.

Hi Dg,

To MAN UP means many things. Among them, it means standing up for yourself, your integrity, and your children. It means not letting fear dictate your actions. It means being someone women and others can respect. If you let your WW walks all over you, you will not be respected.

You fear losing something that you’ve already lost. And one of your problems here is your refusal to accept reality for what it is. You M is gone. The only chance you have of getting it back is if you are willing to lose it. But if you keep living in fear and fantasy like you are now I don’t see you getting anywhere. If you keep this up, I see you losing your M, custody of your children, which you do not seem to care about (more on that later), and your self-respect. I find it sad that you get offended by lawyer’s suggestion that you should strike first. I actually agree with him. You should strike first…but first you must do some serious snooping to ascertain your WW’s intentions.

There is a lot of information on this site about snooping. Find them and implement them to find out where you really stand. Living in fantasy, hoping that things would magically get better will not advance your cause(s). HOPE IS NOT A PLAN!!! You need to extract yourself from the wishful thinking world you are in.

You are also under the illusion that your WW should tell you her plans when she has shown no indication that she has your best interest at heart. You even claim that you would tell her what you are up to if you were planning to move forward with the divorce. This is total nonsense. You still don’t realize that this is war. Just as in a war you would not tell the enemy your plans, you should not expect WW to tell you her plans. Let me repeat, this war: war on your family, war on your children, and war on your peace of mind. If WW is planning on divorcing you, I don’t see why in the world she would inform you of her actions. That you expect otherwise clearly shows that your fog is thick. Similarly, once you decide to proceed with a plan, it would be foolish to share it with WW before hand. It would be insane.

You should continue to PLAN A but you should start positioning yourself to protect your interest, and those of your children. Oh yes, your CHILDREN. You mention that since your children would probably want to be with their mother, you are willing to give WW custody of them. Are you crazy? If you WW was a drug addict and your children wanted to be with her, would you still give WW custody in that case? That your children want something is not a sufficient condition to give it to them. You have to weight what they want against what is in their best interest.

Maybe you think that being with their wayward mother is in their best interest. Hmmm, let’s see. Their mother is a lying, cheating, immoral person. Maybe, on this line of thinking, it’s ok for your children to be taught that lying, cheating, and being utterly self-centered are ok traits to have. Maybe it’s ok for your children to learn that family is not that important, that it is just a convenient situation until one feels otherwise. Maybe it’s ok for your children to be exposed to all sorts of OMs (be assured if you and WW don’t reconcile the current OM will not be the last), each being the current “daddy” du jour. Maybe it’s ok to risk your daughter to being molested by one of these OMs (this happens all the time). Maybe….You get the point. If you don’t standup for your children, who will?

Maybe it is not that you think it’s in the children’s best interest to be with their mother, but rather that you feel that you are not ready to be a full time dad. That fear is understandable, as being a father is hard gig. But you can do it. This is another reason why you will need to MAN UP in your sitch. Manning up entails doing things you normally would not do or would prefer not to do, but you do them anyways because it is the right thing to do. “Manning up” requires having the courage to do what you know you need to do. Courage does not entail lack of fear, but rather acting in spite of your fear. I understand fear; I don’t understand not acting because of it when your children’s wellbeing is at stake.

You can do more than you think you can. You will be fine whether you save your M or not. You need to believe these things and start acting accordingly.

My advice for now,

1. Snoop (hire a PI if you have to) to find out where you really stand

2. Plan A. By this I mean to not LB or DJ unnecessarily. I am not a fan of the view of trying to meet the ENs of a cheating, lying, unremorseful WW in Plan A. I have yet to see this work. (At most a good 180 with a mini Plan B can help bring a WW back: See MywifeIlove’s sitch). I am against bending over backward to please a W. I am also not a fan of being a doormat in the hope of saving a relationship. I just mean be the best person you can be, improve on your defects, and treat WW with respect.

3. Read at least 5 of the following sitches to see
where you should be going. After you’ve read them, we’ll proceed.
a. MywifeIlove (in recovery)
b. Hopethisworks (in Plan B)
c. WaltW (soon to be in Plan B and D)
d. Scotty (soon to be in Plan D)
e. Mortarman (in recovery)
f. BobPure (in recovery)
g. Goodfather (Divorce with custody)
h. Cymanca (Divorce)

Please note that not all of them save their M, but each one is a resounding success story.

4. Be ready to play Hardball

Read and let’s talk.

Very interesting - I saw alot of what you say to be true, I have been acting out of fear. Fear on many levels, Fear of what I brought to this M.

I was really making progress on myself until I let my emotions take over instead of my dignity. When my emotions took over - I lost more than my M.

I lost my sense of self respect, And in turn became a doormat, When I failed to live up to what I needed to do and really wanted to be - I let the "enemy" rule.

As far as custody, I have/had issues that I am working on but my past haunts me and again fear is my issue again.

I have let so many people into our life and M as an open book, And the things that were on my tail have now all caught up with me.

The lawyer told me to initiate but not fight for custody b/c I probably wouldnt prevail, I am seeing others to see what their thoughts are.

The IC we are seeing and I say we b/c we both had referrals from our EAP to deal with things that as adults should have been dealt with b/f we became partners and especailly parents, Anyways my W has her snowed that she doesnt have as big as issues as me (drinking,control issues)

I can only honestly work on me to be a better person I cannot force her to be honest w/ C.

When I was giving 100% to being the person I could, I was prevailing in many ways - When I let my "old" self out I had to retreat so to speak, Now I have to overcome more baggage - Im not feeling sorry for myself at all I am feeling sorry for letting my kids down.

They are the poor souls who deserve this the least and I should have kept that my #1 priority through all of this,
Many people here as well as MIL tried to get that through my thick head, I let my emotions go and should have listened to Jim and Shattered Dreams early on and got myself on AD's to cope with my inner turmoil.

Now that I have been on them I have been a "doormat" only b/c I brought more garbage on myself to dig out of.

I am going to see another lawyer who will have my interests in saving M instead of getting what I can for myself, Whether that will take longer than I thought only time will tell but I need to be consistent and not just looking out for my feelings. If it means fighting for custody then I have to be ready for a tough fight.

No matter what I will survive and be better, Things are not over yet and I am going to continue the war as long sS I can.

Thanks for your input - It was very nice to take that amount of thought and time to give me a MB 2x4

Well, I think W filed for S or D, The papers I saw are missing and she has been reading a book about coping after D.

I saw another lawyer - But he also said w/ some of my issues from the past I don't have a very good chance or getting custody.

Feel so screwed over right now and very alone, I just tried to talk to her and asked if she thought S or D was any way to help us get through.

She said she didnt know but we cant live like this, Each of us hiding from each other, I said we didnt have to for many reasons it's worth it to try an make it.

She told me she thinks I am still trying to control everything - That is furthest from the truth - I said for the kids we brought into this world - We both probably needed to see a C a long time ago and they deserve better.

Also asked if she cared for me that why would she want to put me out and make life more difficult.

I dont know waht to do, Yes fear again, Fear of losing my family, fear of the unknown if I lose this fight, fear of the money it would cost both of us to get through this.

2 attorneys told me unless I have irreftuable eveidence, that some of my character flaws over time gives me almost no chance of keeping kids, getting CS, remaining in the house we built.

What are the D & S laws in your area regarding adultery?

You need a plan. I know u r hurt but you need a plan FAST.

Know u can't control her.

You control what you know. If she accuses you of stuff (aka: u r too controlling) remind her that she is a WS and you need to protect your family frum such a character.

Expect her to fret, whine, threaten and the like.

Get your personal support group together and ask they all keep a watchful eye on you and your family. Have them tell you what they observe and ask which ones are willing t/b character witnesses.

If your past has questionable behavior, get with a good MC/IC to help them show you have made improvements.

Secure your finances. Expect the WS to try to run you ragged and leave you broke.

My H's youngest sister is doing that to her H right now. He finally kicked her out and after almost 2 months of her trying to deny the A (she has had more than 1) and blame everyone else but herself, she now finds herself without full family support (only 1 sister supports her A, her parents and rest of family 7 children do not). This WS filed false child abuse charges against her husband and claimed her H was now free to 'get a Mexican' (BIL is Mexican and WS is not). BIL has been a good H and father. Race has never been an issue for his family or ours, just the WS who at one point thought it was important to change nationalities to get a BF (because she is fair skinned, she tried to pass her self off as Portugese). LOL!! BF (now H at the time told us this and well..... we told him the truth and we all had a good laugh. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Now I don't want anyone to get offended by this....this is what happened. My H's family have in-laws (like myself) from all different cultures. It is interesting how diverse we all are. So predujice has never been an issue for H's immediate family (just the WS). Goes to show how stupid the WS can be. Let's add to the fact that though I am physically over 2000 miles away..... I am now the primary one responsbile (WS POV) for her current dilemea (SP??). LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

That's only part of what I have experienced but hope it is enough to help you see how important it is to get a plan going.

For now, leave the WS in the dust. You take care of you and your children. Even if you don't get full custody now, who's to say you won't later? WS' have not stamina to taking care of their family.

BIL has already proven to the courts that WSSIL is unfit. Still the courts at this time are giving 50% custody to her. She can't do it and work, so life for her is now a struggle. But that is her problem, not BILs. So she may lose some custody and the $$ that goes with it. She is doing it for the $$ not the love of her children. How sad, isn't it?

How do I know this? She used to leave her kids with a lot of other people to watch them, while claiming she was a good mother.

L.

Orchid,
Thanks,
The book I found was Helping Children cope with Divorce although I am really not sure what she is doing, And Yes custody at some other time would be an option.

The state laws here say I almost have to prove sexual adultery and only in issues of custody, As far as counter suing her the state law says that after I found out about possible A - I say possible b/c I have flimsy proof.

The law says that by her and I having SF that the law assumes I forgave her, Which did come into play in late Dec.

I am still working on my issues day by day, We just got done talking and the weird thing is I cannot even read her anymore - If the A is going on it is really underground and I almost suspect it isnt but NC hasnt been put in place.

When I suggested in Dec. she get another job she got adamant and w/ the control issues from the past it only made it seem more controlling.

I know I am going to have to protect myself, I will desert my kids at all either by spending time w/ them or supporting them but it tears me up that I may not be able to see them as I do now.

I keep hoping a light will go off for her, The C she and I see seperately (coincidence) seems to tell us both different things or W is telling half truths as she has for some time - C suggested to me that no matter what happens it would be good for us to meet together even to just improve communication - although W has been hesitant.

C even said that she didnt see why we couldnt try to work on things, And that everyone would be better if it worked but also says that kids will survive.

The book I saw talks a lot about how getting a D for stressed M's is better but what about avoiding D and really working on things?

Dg,

Change books. Go read the following:

Surviving an Affair (Harley) - learn about plans A & B
His Needs/Her Needs (Harley) - learn how to communicate with females in general.
Love must be Tough (Dobson) - learn how to use these techniques with plan B.

Consider what I previously outlined. Get your support group to help you solidify the A proof enough to make your case in court or wherever will get you custody.

Do NOT enter into any new financial arrangements (credit cars, major purchases, etc.) with a WS.

If you can't handle R talk, let it be. Learn to use the WS' own stuff against them.

Reverse babble is a tool that does just that. Read up on it in my link. It will sound a bit sarcastic at first but you will find being polite and civil with a WS often gets you more hurt than help. Instead, be civil but firm. My link has some examples. I had to practice to learn this technique and in time, it was easier to reverse babble which in turn gave the WS their own guilt back. It leaves a bad taste with the WS and that is a good thing. Because the one you want back is your W NOT the WS.

There are other tools, read the books and we can discuss it further. Right now you have your assignment.....get to work. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Btw, the MC/IC you are visiting doesn't sound qualified enough. What are the chances you can change and call Jennifer C @ MB for some phone counseling? Jennifer can get you in a plan and if you stop going to that IC/MC, the WS may not be able to find out what you are up to and then she will wonder..... It is a good thing for a WS to wonder what the BS and family are up to. Do NOT be an open book to her right now. She will use it against you.

If the WS says you are too controlling....respond like: Yes I have to be....there is someone who is trying to hurt my family. Do you know who 'she' is? (then walk away).

If the WS says she is afraid because she doesn't know what you are up to.....respond like: As a WS you s/b afraid. As my real W and mother of our children, you should already know. (then walk away).

See you haven't given her info, you have given her back her guilt.

Hope this helps. Gotta go run errands this afternoon.

Aloha,
L.

L.

Bump for update

Hope you are OK dg

I dont know where we are at anymore, I am still there and switched IC's and W has stopped seeing the IC after her EAP benefits wore out.

She says she hasn't filed anything but refuses to work on anything including herself - Right now we are coexisting in this messed up world.

My job has been adding stress as we are short several people in a service group, I have tried getting a life and sometimes I see her get a twinge of wonder but the rest of the time she is so cold and unfeeling. Almost 14 yrs married and she acts like we barely know each other.

I have only tried to talk R/M maybe once a week and let her know that it could be salvaged still and trying to let her know that I want to address the things I brought w/o saying too much about the A - I feel sometimes her anger or iciness is related to her guilty feelings and if she really knew how much I cared about everything and could move past all this that we could.

Now her latest thing is b/c of my "commando" tactics concerning spying, confronting and telling people she says it would be hard for her to trust me?

I havent given up yet and any snooping I have done is minimal but do know from things I have seen is that she has not retained an atty.

I am going to start some snooping again but very low key until tax refund when I will decide to either go to Plan B or hire a PI - My love and care for her and our life hasnt died but it gets tested.

Thanks for checking in

Haven't been on in awhile, Just wanted to say Thank You to everyone who tried helping. I guess I did not listen well enough early on (original post - My Story) and with all that our R/M had to overcome between her A and my personal issues we have come to the next chapter.

I got home from work yesterday and was not even out of my car when my D11 came out to greet me and gave me my mail.
I was handed a large envelope from an atty containing a letter that W has retained him for LSA and net worth statement.

W has become someone I do not know and right now I don't think I care to know anymore and I am quite certain that is the point she has gotten to, We never recovered from early Jan where I went against all MB principles and pushed this in the direction we have now come to.

Thanks Again everyone, Jim, Shatterd Dreams, Melodylane,Grindnfool,Schoolbus and many others.

I may stop by time to time but I need to rebuild me and maybe this will be the thing that makes everything real.

I stopped most active spying and W only seems to have contact @ work so NC never established and I will concentrate on becoming a better person and continue being a good father and see where God takes me.

Thanks Again All

I guess like they say when you least expect it, I made an appt w/ a highly regarded family law atty for today and I am still going to go through w/ it but............

Yesterday when I got home the thermostat gave up and D11 and I went to Home Depot to get one, Replaceed it and W was late so I asked the kids if they wanted to go to Friendly's and also thought it would be good bonding for us.

D11 called her mother and said what we were doing, W said she was getting gas and would be home, Kids dragged their feet and W pulled in, I tried to hide a little so she wouldn't feel forced to come and at that time I didn't think I wanted her too as I was resigning myself to the fact that things were moving forward.

After all last week - 2 days before I received paperwork I tried one last time to talk R/M but got papers in the mail 2 days later.

Anyway W kind of searched me out and all I said was that she owed me 1/2 for the thermostat, She followed me out to the car and said that she didn't want to ruin my time w/ the kids, Did I not want her to go? I said if she wanted to it was up to her and it wouldn't bother me.

She must have told the kids to wait in the house and was talking to me from the passenger side open window and looking like the person I knew back before this all began.

We were talking about some things when she asked what I would think if she said she made a mistake? I asked what about - Retaining an atty for S or the last 6 mths.

Then she walked over to my side an asked if she could do something and leaned in and kissed me like it was an anniversary kiss.

She replied both - We decided to go to dinner w/ the kids and talk at another point, The conversation was about mundane everyday things but I sensed by her eyes she might be genuine.

Dinner was fairly nice, It was probably the calmest point of the last 5 - 6mths - We talked laughed as a family and all the while even though I tried not making eye contact as much I caught W looking at me.

When we got in and got kids ready for bed and I took a shower, We talked for a bit after and she said that I didnt have to sleep downstairs anymore, That she was tired of hating me and realized she was still in love with me.

Told me that I would be the only man she ever loved, I figured it was time for a break for both of us and politely excused myself.

I came up around 11:00pm and we talked for a few more mins and I actually hemmed and hawed as to whether or not to sleep in the bed -She mentioned that I was the only man she will ever love, She actually also shed a few tears and I laid down next to her, Held her hand and she soon fell asleep.

I drifted but woke up and couldn't get back to sleep and after about 1hr I actually had to go downstairs.

What do I do now? How do I respond/ react?

I am still going to see the atty only b/c there is so much that has happened that I want to be prepared if it turns again.

Please any pros or anyone please if you could let me now how to proceed.

Thanks

Saw the lawyer and she said as far as finaces go I would be ok, It would be tough w/ my past to gain full custody, 50/50 would only happen if it were amicable.

Right now I only kept the appt to find out where I stand legally - the previous atty's were not very good, This one specializes in family law and charges for consultation to stop "lawyer shopping" - Said W's atty is basically an idiot.

But I am so confused as to what went on last night and against my better judgement I called her on the way back to work from seeing the atty to ask her to lunch.

She didnt answer but did call back - Was on her way to pick up D11 from school b/c of illness. We talked a bit and I asked if if she regretted last night and we talked some more, But it wasn't like last night nor was it like the previous few months and I don't know how to react to this situation.

I know this was a huge step she took but not looking forward to getting let down.

I tried playing it cool early on last night, But as soon as I gave in a little she made it all about me again, I understand I need for her to feel safe but I don't want to be a doormat.

I was just really coming to grips w/ everything when she did a 180 - Did I expect too much after last night?

I mean she said ILY, the way she kissed me I could feel she meant it, Told me that I was the only man she would ever love.