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Only God knows what is right and wrong. The rest of us are imperfect and may make mistakes. Is that right? If you admittedly don't know right from wrong, you can't very well know if it is right, SR. And God does expect you to know right from wrong. Yes, we al make mistakes, but that does not absolve you of your obligation to know right from wrong. Our prisons are full of people who do not, and that is right where they belong. And that be RIGHT! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I just knew that something didn't feel right; I thought my husband didn't love me.
Ever wonder if owh feels the same way?
Admittedly discovering the affair even after so much time was a very big piece of the puzzle to what was broken.
I'm suprised that you would take a "grey area" out after such a compelling admission.
Would it be more correct to say that rather than seeing it as a grey area...you just don't care about owh...that you have no compassion or empathy for him because it does not affect you directly?
That would at least make sense.
Let them eat cake and all that.
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once ~Shakespeare
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I hope I don't go to prison for not exposing to OW's husband!!
Me: 45
Him: 47
married 23 years
Two wonderful sons
D-day for my EA: 8/15/04
D-day for his PAs: 8/16/06
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First word cop...
any guesses as to the second?
Anyone?
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once ~Shakespeare
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Would it be more correct to say that rather than seeing it as a grey area...you just don't care about owh...that you have no compassion or empathy for him because it does not affect you directly? I DO have compassion for him- that's why I won't drudge this up after so much time has passed.
Me: 45
Him: 47
married 23 years
Two wonderful sons
D-day for my EA: 8/15/04
D-day for his PAs: 8/16/06
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That is not congruent with your description of your own information.
That his 17 years past tense affair was affecting your present and historical marriage.
I am challenging that incongruency.
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once ~Shakespeare
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Would it be more correct to say that rather than seeing it as a grey area...you just don't care about owh...that you have no compassion or empathy for him because it does not affect you directly? I DO have compassion for him- that's why I won't drudge this up after so much time has passed. I know you've likely read this 100 times by now and you had no idea defending LG was about to put YOU in the hot seat but that is what happens when secrets are protected. Grey areas remain. Givng OWH the information and truth about his life, even 17 years later, is not harmful. What your husband did to her 17 years ago WAS harmful. It's already happened he just MAY not know it. By keeping the secret you have unwittingly become the co-conspirator of the secret. Just my opinion. Not right nor wrong...though it is my opinion that it is right, which subsequent opinion may also be not right or wrong. You were the one that started this whole thing out saying "you'd VERY much like to tell", so do it. Mr. Wondering
Last edited by MrWondering; 02/05/07 12:14 PM.
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Pep nailed it (once again!)
Now LG is taking a hiatus (or leaving forever) and Lilsis is going to be without the very valuable insight he provided.
That is a shame.
And it doesn't serve this community very well.
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MY OPINION:
LG ought to stay and post on MB
LG ought to inform OW's husband because it is the right thing to do
Pep
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Pep nailed it (once again!)
Now LG is taking a hiatus (or leaving forever) and Lilsis is going to be without the very valuable insight he provided.
That is a shame.
And it doesn't serve this community very well. Relax...it's just a hiatus. I very much expect he'll be back fairly soon because he is a valued member of this forum. These issues are sticky. All of us here risk getting knocked around daily. LG's status as a FWH is irrelevant...in fact, look above, Saturn is getting the same advice. Also, I welcome LG's wife to the discussion. I believe she used to post here too. She's a BS and I'll say the same thing to her. We ARE trying to be helpful here. Mr. Wondering
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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We ARE trying to be helpful here. It's very obvious that you are. ~ Marsh
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LG...if you are listening....
I want you to hear my opinion... that this forum provides you with an opportunity to PRACTICE speaking YOUR OWN TRUTH..what a valuable life lesson that has been for me.....
I don't think you should post here, though, if you think that posting jeopardizes your marital recovery....
However, if you are not posting and/or are taking a leave because of those disagreeing with your life stance, I would hope that you would reconsider. There are those of us that value your input and have been emotionally touched by your presence...
LG, you speak for FWHs like my H who have no interest or desire in coming to a forum to help others. You communicate feelings and thoughts MUCH LIKE, IF NOT THE SAME AS HIS so very clearly. That was a GIFT to US, especially to Sis, that you were providing.
Had you thought that there was a PURPOSE for your presence here? Don't let negativity or EVIL forces drive you away, LG.
I certainly do wish you well, LG. I APPRECIATE ALL THAT YOU HAVE DONE.
Given that you speak so much like my FWH, I know in my heart, for certain, that you must really being STRUGGLING to RECOVER from your affair. You are doing the best that you can do and it must have taken a lot to share some of your time here.
Thanks again.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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nevermind. .
Last edited by mkeverydaycnt; 02/05/07 02:23 PM.
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