I'll jump back in here, as this discussion has had me thinking the past two days about this topic.
I still agree with what I originally posted here. I think, though, that we are all kind of talking about different things in by what we mean by "love."
I meant it in terms of a marital setting, whereas I would not continue to stay if I am abused (multiple affairs, verbal, mental abuse). And I do that because I do UNCONDITIONALLY love my boys, and would not let them see that example. So I mean STAYING in the cylcle of abuse--and if unconditional love has that as a prerequestite, then no, I'm not jumping on board.
But in my marriage--I did give and give and give and not expect in return. I kept on giving because I believed from day one that marriage was 100/100, not 50/50. That's where the commitment comes in. I was committed to making this work. I would have liked to have had more of my needs met, but I wasn't going to walk out to find them. I loved my H. I loved my family. I wanted to be a family. I might not have liked my WH very much when he was (still is btw) sleeping with OW, but I was willing to do what it took and offer reconciliation. BUT we can only do so much--it's their choice too to love in return, to choose the right path. Whren they don't and divorce us, and we choose to make the best of it and move on and stand up and stomp on some injustice, have we suddenly stopped loving? Has our committment wavered? Or are we instead fully realizing why God himself allows for divorce in cases of adultery.
That feeling of love--even at moments I have that for my exH. It just doesn't dissappear--but I know it is not healthy to act on those feelings anymore. Now, I pray for his heart and his soul--and truly hope he finds his way back to the Father.
It's a funny thing you know--we are supposed to try to mirror God's love in our marital relationship, but we always fall short. Why? We're imperefect and God is perfection. The ultimate husband and the ultimate example of love. When my wh left, I tried to see him through the same eyes God saw us as we strayed. I truly wanted to see my WH--for his sake more than my own--be reconciled first to God. That relationship was most important to me. Without, all others will not flourish.
So a question--since I did get a divorce, did I not love all I could, or as some here say "unconditionally"? For me to love unconditionally as defined here, would I have to be continuously willing to take him back, never moving on?
Intexas
