you are right, I misunderstood what she meant..... Thank you

I know the feeling... it isn't easy... but, what can we do but wait to have it right with someone else...

Take care

It is unfortunate that she has not gotten over her last relationship, apparently he traumatized her to a point where she hated him. I just got caught in her emotional roller coaster.

Thank you again

... and she was fair to stop now not to traumatize you the same way, as you would be if your R continued...

I think it's better (it helps much more!) to accept 'as is', 'not meant to be', than look for various reasons 'why??'... (Not easy, I know that too)...
I.e. maybe/probably this R wouldn't work even if she were emotionally over with her previous R...

You are very welcome!

Well I don't think the meeting his kids went very well. Of course I have no clue what to expect as I am a newbie at this. My SO and I have been dating 16 months which is a pretty long time. I was already waiting at the show for them to arrive. They walked up and he kissed me in front of the boys (who are 9 & 11) which probably shocked me more than them. They said hello and then the two boys went off in a corner until the show started. A little while later, I spoke to the younger one about his activities, but the older one wouldn't even look at me. The two boys couldn't be more different in demeanor or looks !! I had a hard time believing they were coming fron the same guy (lol) At the end of the evening, the kids didn't acknowledge anything or say goodbye. They went home and I went my separate way. We haven't talked much about what happened, except that the kids were fine the remainder of the weekend. I don't know what to make of it.

Thoughts?

the person I'm dating hasn't met my daughter yet and we've been talking almost a year and dating "fulltime" so to speak since August. she will meet my daughter in mid April and I'm a nervous wreck about it. when i left my ex and filed for d my purpose was to be a better father to my daughter. Now, the thought of confusing her (she's three and a half) or having her start a relationship with daddy's friend scares me. what if things don't work out? what if she doesn't "take" to daddy's friend? there is no right answer. use your gut and protect your kid(s) feelings.

i think we cannot control or ever know how our children will react to another person. in my case, my kids have known about bf for a long time. they are 9 years old. i told them about him at a time when i felt our relationship was going to end up going somewhere. they have even talked on the phone. mine will meet him and his daughter (ok, you all know it is gekko) in june probably. i know mine will be ok with it because it is not something i am springing on them. they have been thru counseling and understand now that daddy and mommy will never be again. they have seen daddy living with ow for almost a year now. they have seen affection between them i am sure. my kids are doing really well now. i know they will do great meeting gekko and his daughter.they are looking very forward to it.

gekko, i understand your fear. but everything has been done the right way. she is aware of who i am, talked to me on the phone, etc.... i think as long as when the meeting happens it is on a friendly level and things are taken slowly she will be fine. she understands mommy and daddy are not together. she has known about me and talked to me since last august. she can put a face to a name and a face to my kids from pix and from talking to them. i am not someone she is not aware of at all. THAT i would be worried about. i really think it will go fine and if we didn't think things were going to work out, we wouldn't be meeting eachothers kids.

i think after the first meeting, and i say this for anyone, you should talk to your kids and hear their feelings. they do have a right to have them. sometimes they just need to process. but i think if it is done in the right way, and we listen to our kids, it is a situation that can be made less stressful.

jmho
mlhb

Talking on the phone and seeing pictures of one another are completely different than actually being in the same room together. Gekko when it comes down to it...you know your daughter better than anyone else and if this is a real concern for you then all you can really do is truly listen to your head/gut and not your heart. Have you talked to your daughter about it? Have you let her voice her opinion about it? Even at 3 1/2 she can somewhat tell you her thoughts. You're the parent, do what YOU feel is best for the two of you. Good luck!

Well, how are you introducing "daddy's friend" to your daughter - a friend, a "special friend", "your new mommy"? Are you really placing the expectation on your 3 1/2 yo to have a "relationship" with this new person? That's a lot of pressure to put on her and on yourself.

Why not just introduce her as a "friend", and leave it at that? Don't obsess over whether they like each other or not.

And like Alluring said, if you don't feel good about it - don't do it. Listen to your gut, not to others (me included <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> ).

AGG

I feel fine about it but as a good parent, and I think I am, I'm nervous. She'll be introduced as a friend and we talk about her a lot. She has asked to meet her so whatever.