Sounds good, I have no doubt you will be able to do exactly that. HOWEVER,

Let's hold up a minute. Plan D is the LAST RESORT, are you at that point, truly? Today, maybe. What about tomorrow?

She's moving out, that's good. Have you thought of going to Plan B? I would recommend Plan B. Invoke the enforcement clause of your boundaries: You will not be disrespected. It sounds like you have done a solid Plan A. Protect what little is left of your feelings and use Plan B for what it's intended for: You.

Go VERY DARK and become a mystery. Protect what little feelings you have left while beginning to move on in your new life. As many have said before, hoping that she'll come back is not what Plan B is about - you may be sorely disappointed. The time you spend in Plan B will make a D, if it occurs, like a cakewalk. IF she comes back, and you have some love left, then...what a win-win situation! You retained your dignity, regained your self-respect, and you have your W back!

Food for thought, just my $.02

H&P-

Thanks for the words of encouragement. WW just left with the movers taking the rest of her stuff. Your descriptions of WW has been pretty dead-on accurate all along. WW told me, "this is very hard for me to do." What a joke. I am glad she is gone.

Looking back, I now realize it was always about her. It looks like this is was what happens when you treat someone with respect and kindness. I am not saying I was perfect, but I didn't deserve to be treated like this. I don't feel sorry for WW one bit. I hope this doesn't sound bad, but right now I wish nothing but bad things for WW. It is hard to differentiate from her fog and reality. They are one in the same.

The hardest part right now is trying to stay strong for the children. I want so bad to tell them what a P.O.S. she is, but I know that is out of the question.

Does anyone have any advice on what to tell them? WW has told them that Mommy and Daddy aren't getting along. WW has done anice job of insulating herself with that statement. I hope one day I can tell them, and maybe eventually the will figure it out on their own.

BIT

BIT

I personally think that 7 and 10 are old enough to know that mommy has given her love to someone else instead of daddy, violating her M vows and now doesn't want to be with all of us as a family and instead wants to have OM with her.
Reassure them that this in not their fault and the blame lies with mommy and her actions.

My 10 year old Step daughter knows the truth and I always correct any lies that she is fed by EX WW.

What have you done legally to protect yourself and those two kids?

Jayban-

Thanks for the note. Yes, right now Plan D is what I'm thinking. I believe I won't be able to forget that fact that she had\has multiple partners, and it is continuing now she has moved out. I am tired of being stepped on. What also irks me is that she wouldn't even look at me while the final items were being moved out. She is still maintaining the idea that it is all my fault. I will not be a party to that foolishness.

I am kind of confused how Plan B would work right now. She will be in contact with me about the children. I cannot enlist the help of a third party to assist. I just want to be short, and to the point. I believe now if I ever would let her back, whatever dignity and self-respect I achieved would be lost.

This is something I may need alot more guidance on by this great support community. I don't know what I would have done without everyone of you so far, from answering my sporadic and sometimes rambling thoughts to just reading other posts and having compassion for what others are going thru.


BIT

Co-signed.

~ Marsh

I am meeting with my atty. Thursday. I am gathering the info she asked me to and filling out appropriate paperwork.

BIT

Everyone-

I am meeting with my atty. tommorrow. From you, MB community, I need a great list of questions to ask( 10-20 or more?), to maximize my time and money spent. I also don't want to sound like a dolt, I want to be prepared and professional.

Any help and words of encouragement is greatly appreciated.

BIT

BIT-

I have not 'been there and done that' like a lot of the others, but here are my suggestions:

1. How to ensure that you get primary custody/guardianship of the kids. You're a SAHD, which is a huge plus, but the courts routinely screw men on the custody issue. Find out. I know there are other men on MB who have gotten custody. From reading other accounts, documentation and record-keeping are the key.

2. Getting spousal support. Texas doesn't have alimony, but I believe they do have limited spousal support, which is designed to give a spouse time to get educated or retrained for a career field. Be prepared with financial records and statements.

3. Get child support nailed down. Again, be prepared with financial records.

4. Division of marital assets, including the marital home.

5. Both adultery and cruelty are grounds for divorce in Texas. Find out what this means for you.

6. Continued health insurance for at least the kids, and possibly yourself.

7. You might inquire about provisions preventing WW from exposing the kids to her boyfriends for a year after the divorce. If she wants to sow her wild oats you can't stop her, but you can try to stop her from exposing the kids to whatever guys she trolls up in the internet.

Just my thoughts...I'm sure others will have better.

MB Community-

Are the any other good questions I should ask my atty. tomorrow?

Yes.

What forms of documentation are acceptable for the courts.
You need to journal everything that happens.

So you will hear some straight forward legal talk from your lawyer its will seem unfair but remember justice is blind.

You need to be up front and honest with her about things, you need to tell your atty anything that may bite you down the road.

VR-




What would be an example of something that would bite me down the road?

BIT

well anything you have done that your ww could bring up, you watched porn you smacked your kids rear....WS tend to bring all those items up when they are backed into a corner

Very interesting.

Bump.

Any more ?'s I can ask? I have about 2 hours before my meeting. Thanks.

BIT

How did it go? (Atty meeting?)

Jayban-

It went as well as expected. Atty is writing up LSA, and it will protect kids and me from WW if/when she continues frivolous expenditures an her A's. It is intended to allow us to maintain status quo on home sitch. It will fill the protection void until I am able to legally file D.

Atty couldn't believe items I told her about WW, and the items written correspondence I gave her copies of. She thought she had seen it all, but says my WW has hit a new low. It was suggested that I look for work, just to provide extra protection for my family. I am going to follow that advice.

BIT

Good job BIT - getting in there and getting some legal advice/protection in place!

When will you be able to file for D? I'm confused. I'm in Texas too, and I didn't think there was such a thing as an LSA here. (Y'all are either married or divorced here in Texas!)

Why wouldn't you be able to file a D legally?
It's a short one here in Texas - 60 days for the cooling off period.

I'm not in TX, actually that is the name of a song. I can't really reveal my location at this time. Where I am, there is a one year residency requirement to file. I am not able to file D as of yet, but the LSA will cover until then.

BIT