Trust is an issue in my decision to embrace this principle.

I'd have to be lying to say it wasn't.

It isn't a distrust of HIM really though...more of a "learned my lesson" sort of thing.

See...high risk environments are ...well...risky.

This makes them a BAD idea.

This collides with our cultural and social norms which says...you should be able to trust someone implicitly and have the freedom to do whatever you want consequence free.

To which I respond...look around.

See how adultery ridden and adultery TOLERANT our culture is?

It's arrogance really...and that arrogance needs to die an ugly death. We aren't any weaker for admitting that a bad dynamic might be harmfull to our very own household.

We aren't different and special after all.

I understand the pros and cons and all reasoning behind never spending a night apart. But, never being apart overnight isn't always possible.

And, I would imagine that a poll of WSs would probably reveal that the overnights with the OM/OW probably didn't start until they were already having the affair. I would think the A would have fueled the desire to be apart in order to further indulge themselves with the OP.

What do you do if you have a sick parent in another city or if work takes you away from home occasionally and your spouse can't go along for whatever reason, i.e. his/her work or small kids, etc.?

I have to be away from town one weekend a month. Early in my M my STBXH had to work weekends and couldn't always come. Then, he did start coming but as things got worse between us he made excuses not to come. Now, he would come if I invited him. Sad, huh?

Dr. Harley didn't say that in all marraiges the spouses should never spend a night apart, he said "after an A"

so that makes me think that he's saying that a FWS shouldn't be trusted not to stray again...even if you are meeting their emotional needs

maybe i'm not understanding this, but that's what it sounded like to me