Wondering if this would be a good time to watch the movie; Fried Green Tomatoes (1991).


Some people cannot change. They are damaged, like in the movie; Butterfly Effect(2004).


Sooooo sorry for all the horrible pain, suffering and loss of all your hopes/dreams.


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

S4B,

Was driving home with you on my mind when I heard this on KLove...

"Selah - You Raise Me Up
From the album Hiding Place

When I am down, and oh my soul, so weary
When troubles come and my heart burdened be
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence
Until You come and sit awhile with me

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up—to more than I can be

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up—to more than I can be

There is no life—no life without its hunger
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly
But when you come and I am filled with wonder
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up—to more than I can be

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up—to more than I can be

Label: Curb Records

Lyrics may not be reproduced without permission from the publisher."

Here's the link to listen to it online... Look at the bottom of this page and click the speaker..


God works, Rwoman...he really does.

LA

(((Rind)))

You will be in my thoughts and prayers tonight.... so much going on with everyone.

Stay Safe.

Still

HI All! The kids and I made it through the nights with no problems.

We had a queen size bed and I was very happy to have them with me. Poor L, doesn't like to be covered up and he was sleeping in the middle...so that created a little problem during the night...

I kept a nite light on and got to watch them sleep...I really enjoyed that...I still woke up several times but I really felt safe...I got up at 4 and couldn't go back to sleep to I picked up a bok and read for a little while...

I don't remember what i read but it served it's purpose...

STBX hasn't tried to C me...I saw him last night...he didn't see me...and I was passing by the house on the way to work...I didn't even think about it...but the truck was parked at the end of the driveway and he was walking out the door carrying my laptop bag...

So, I know that he didn't go to work today...we all seem to think that getting the cops involved yesterday was the best thing...even the IC said that it sounded like he was the type with a clean background that he would probably back down when the police got involved...

So, here I am...it's a new day...I have a place to stay until Sunday and then will be moving to my permanate place until the court date...

Techie-
It's more like why is she doing this...b/c he asked yesterday...what now? I just said that I was tired of talking about it...

He doesn't see everything leading up to yesterday...and he doesn't know that I know about the personal ad...I found the website, password, and user ID hidden in the middle of a notebook...

Sky- Thank you for the suggestions! I appreciate them...I have plans tonight to watch kid movies with the boy's...looking forward to that!

LA- WOW, you were thinking about me...Thank you...I really feel loved...Thank you for sharing the song with me...I like that song...I've heard it before...

Still- I'm doing the best I can! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Thank you, mam! I feel really good today!

Rin,

I'm very sorry for the way things are turning out for you. I've kept up on your story for some time - you can hold your head high in this. Don't beat yourself up over it, and don't listen to any of this junk to the contrary.



Grrrr.

Rin, you can avoid conflict all you d*mn want. It's your life, your emotional well-being, your mental health. Do whatever it takes to protect yourself physically, mentally and emotionally for YOU and your children.

God Bless,

Glad you are feeling good today. You can make it.

Come join us at the soiree:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...e=0#Post3199803

JAyBAn- That means so much to me...Thank you from the bottom of my heart and thank you also for pointing out that I can CA all I want to...I didn't realize that! LOL

I am hoping to be civil with him, I know that may not work out, but I want to give him his time with the kids and I even want to included GP's time in there...

I have no animosity forward him, I just can't be with him any longer!

Thank you for dropping in! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hey Rin,

So glad to hear you are safe and sound this morning!

Where did you stay last night? In a hotel?

~ Marsh

Jayban: You rawk! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Good morning marsh!

I stayed at my bosses house...the kids loved the tub...

Water everywhere!! LMAO

Stivn,

Soooo...to summarize, you have a safe place for you and the kids to stay until Sunday, and after that you're moving into "your place"--so there will be no more moving around after that, right? Does Your Place take dogs? (wink wink) When is your court date--for the restraining order, right? SOON, I hope!

Now, here are a few things that may happen to ya--so head's up. It's fairly likely that for the next few days, you'll be somewhat occupied with just living: making dinner, having some fun-time with the kids, staying away from STBX, moving into Your Place, etc. You will also likely feel so relieved just from getting away from being in "fear" every day that you'll feel a little giddy and euphoric (it just feels like life is so happy and peaceful and FREE). Then, in a couple days you might feel a fairly major "letdown." It's cool--this is normal. For the last few YEARS your body has been running on adrenalin--fight or flight--and now since you're safe, there's no adrenalin anymore. So if you feel just giddy happy for a couple days and then DRAGGING-tired-almost-sick--it's normal. It's just your body adjusting to not having adrenalin all the time.

If that happens, just go with it. If you're so happy you can't sleep, maybe lay and pray for a bit, but if you're awake, just accept it and get up and read or write. I personally found those late nights when I couldn't sleep were perfect for praying for other folks here on MB and for journaling--just whatever was on my mind to get it out of my system. I also documented everything on my daytimer that my STBX tried to that day--because it helped me when I went before a judge or tried to talk with friends and they'd say, "Oh, he's not that way" and then I had a calendar FULL of stuff to prove to myself that I wasn't crazy. If I felt just exhausted, like I couldn't lift my arms I was so tired, I just accepted that too, as my body adjusting to having no adrenalin. On those days, I treated myself to a bubble bath with candles and Frank Sinatra (oh baby!). And on days when I had energy, I planted flowers *I* like...or painted my house colors *I* like...or bought some cute little pillows for the living room (I love pillows)....stuff for *ME*.

((((((((((Strivn4Better)))))

Thanks CJ...

I appreciate that...plan is that I stay with friends until the court date, not sure when, hopefully the judge will grant me use of the home...

After which I plan to move back into and change the paint in the bathroom that I painted which I hated from day 1 but STBX wouldn't let me repaint it!

I TMed him about the bills that needed to be paid today but he hasn't replied. Then, I tmed him again maybe 20 mins. later with "We can work together to not ruin our credit."

We Tmed a few more times and decided to only talk about bills...

I talked to STBX...he was calm...only talked about bills...he opened a new checking account...we were very civil with each other...

The only thing he asked was about his pistol...I said that I had it. Nothing about his kids...HIS PISTOL! That's a shame. he said that he couldn't understand that and I said well, I didn't get the opportunity but I was going to take the bullets out of the .45 too!

End of conversation...so all in all it's good, so far...I don't plan to talk with him again anytime soon...I will be making a copy of the bills and getting it to a natural person.

So, here I am...lump in my throat and all...still alive after talking with him...perhaps the police thing did handle the problem but I'm not about to stop looking over my back...

Thanks CJ...i can't find the words...

Something troubles me about him asking about his pistol. I assume he asked for it back?

Are you on VERY good terms with any particular relative you can give that gun to? Have them keep it for him...Prolly would be a prudent move.

Guns in the early conversations regarding D when there are SO MANY other things to think about / talk about strikes me as a little off.

Just lookin' out,

Jay

NO, just where it was...it's not in my position really...it's locked up safe and sound...

There's no law in La to even have the police take it if you have a TRO! So, he still has the 45...

I had to make copies of the bills for him...I need to find a natrual person to give them too...

At least we got some stuff paid today and he got a checking account! That's good!

I'm just concerned that he didn't ask about the kids! Oh, well!

I may not be around this weekend...I need access to a cpu! LOL

I promise to be safe...Thank you everyone!

Rin, this concerns me as well. I don't know if I missed it but did he actually get served? The last I read is that he found out about it. What's the status on that? Because until he gets served, he can pretty much do whatever the heck he wants to do and be within the law.

Rind,

Glas to see things are going ok... I'm curious to know too if he got served?

Still

Good Morning! To answer your question, I'm not sure if he's been served or not...

I haven't heard from my A but my FIL called and was asking about me charging him with sexual abuse...He also told me that I didn't know what I was doing...I said yes, I did and that I planned on including grandparent rights...told him that everything looked fine on the surface but it wasn't...

I told him about STBX signing up for the personal ad online...FIL asked if we were on our way to church and I said yes, F was a greeter yesterday.

We had a good weekend...Sat. the kids and I went to the 10am movie and then I brought them to the park...They have been have a good time...they also haven't asked about their dad..I did tell them that anytime that wanted to talk to him that they can ask and I would give them the phone to call...

Thay were concerned about the dog, F said that he was scared that his dad would hurt the dog and L said that he wanted to talk to him. So, I handed them the phone and L told his dad that F was scared he would hurt the dog...

Then, L handed the phone to F and STBX told F that he didn't kick us out and anytime we wanted to come home was fine. F didn't say anything that I recalled. And, they still haven't asked about him, not to talk to him or see him.

That concerns me a little but it's not like STBX spend a lot of time with them.

I have plans to call my A and see if he has been served...FIL said that he loved me so much...I'm hoping to continue to have a relationship with them...he said that he was just calling to try to understand what was going on...so much has been hidden from them...

I've been feeling really good...life's not centered on STBX...what time's he's getting off...do I have to cook and what would HE like...what he's got planned...I only woke up once between the time I went to bed and 4am this morning and then staying asleep between 4 and 6 was hard. But I'm sleeping better!

Oh, I got my boss to drop off copies of the bills to STBX Sat.

I want to talk to him but I don't...I mean I want to make sure that he's okay but I don't want to get caught in the trap and have him trying to change me mind again...I mean I'm out and he's not bothering me.

I like it this way...he hasn't even tried to call and I still can't believe that he asked about his pistol and not the kids!

My Mom said that he was just being indifferent to the kids. what should I expect in regards to thier relationship with their father? I for one want them to have a relationship and told him Friday that whenever he wanted to see them to let me know...I certainly don't want to have anything to do with Partenal alienation...they need a realtionship with the Father...

I can remember how I felt when I was they age when my father was concerned, I am sympathic with them...but like I said they are not concerned either...I guess this is still new...

Any thoughts are appreciated...I don't like that it has come to this but I feel so much better and sleep, WOW! I'm sure that will improve as time goes on also! Is that weird, four days away from him and I'm sleeping a little better?

Well, thank you both for checking on me...as soon as I know some answers I'll let you guys know! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Rind,

Glad to hear the weekend went well and you got to spend time with your boys.

How did FIL about the sexual abuse charges? Wouldn't he know that only if he got served? Just wondering.

You sound great and grounded. I am so proud of you... you're my hero :grin

Still

Hi Still,

I guess FIL talked to him...I really don't know...

Look what I got this morning from GN...this is the one that the kids were suppose to go to her house if something happened at our house...the kids were to call 911...b/t this response and her last response...I think that she's the one that told...but it doesn't matter...

Here you go:

I sincerely hope that your kids don't think that their daddy is a monster. I really think that they should have been talked to by the both of you so they can kind of understand what is going on, but then again

STBX didn't know anything about any of this so how could ya'll talk to them. All I can say is that I talked to you a lot in the past year and tried to help the both of you through a tough time, but I don't believe
that STBX is the monster that you are making him out to be. I have

never once seen that man even raise his voice to you. I am not saying that a divorce wasn't needed because ya'll both made mistakes, but the way you went about this was very unnecessary. How would you feel if he

was acting like everything was just fine and then you found out that he is filing for divorce behind your back and saying all these things that aren't true about you and making you out to be some kind of angry wife
that is going to hurt you.

It's not right Rinder. I thought you had a
bigger heart than to try and bring him down in the mud like this. It could have been taken care of in a more civil manner, but I guess you
won't do that and he is just completely shocked.

I won't say any more, I just had to say these things and the rest is up to ya'll, but you have
burned a lot of bridges the way you handled this.


Well, there you go...I don't plan to response...no point...to all of our friends he's Mr. Nice GUY!

It's a big OUCH, but I expected this to happen...

I'm sorry Rind. Apparently he's letting everyone Know so that you look like the bad guy.

Is GN a friend?

All I can say is we are still here for you whenever you need us.

Still

I'm about that (5 days) into a Plan B, and I certainly feel the same way. I know the situations differ, but Plan B to me means Plan D practice...



That's prolly expected, I feel that way about my wife strangely enough, and she thinks that way about me. Ah, the conflict and drama. It's up to you, respond or not. If I responded, I would respond dignified and respectful. I prolly wouldn't respond at all!

I know it stings, don't let it bother you - it's a form of fog, just indirectly delivered.